


Extinguish

by fwutter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Artist!Stephen, Christine Palmer (best friend figure to Stephen), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kid Peter Parker, M/M, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Stephen has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony is Peter's Dad, it's a small mention, stephen centric, very few strong language?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-08-01 15:11:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 50,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16286906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fwutter/pseuds/fwutter
Summary: After the terrible and nearly fatal accident, Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange lost his job permanently as a neurosurgeon. After months and months of nearly giving up, he has finally found a past time, art. He pursued this life for the past year and even became famously known for producing art despite the disability in his hands. To him, life is going absolutely perfect. But who knew just one incident could change your life forever.... Again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER!!!  
> Hello! Writer of the book here, i will delete this once the book is finished. I have clinical depression. Anxiety, all that. And something it takes a big longer to write chapters because some days my energy is so low i physically am unable to type anything out. I am sorry about it, but that is the way life is treating me. Thank you

Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange, a famous artist known for producing art despite the disability in his hands, was setting up the downstairs of his studio ready to begin his very first class. Just a couple more picture frames to hang up and art supplies on tables, then the class would start. Well, not so much immediately after he was finished, only about five minutes max. After placing the last bucket of supplies on the table Stephen was finally ready. He was ready to open up "Stephen's House of Arts." Excited, Stephen walked out to the front of his studio and sat behind the sign in desk. Stephen was an entrepreneur, he worked on his own so didn't hire anyone to help out. Everything he did was done by him. Stephen was ecstatic. He always loved children and working with them, so teaching them something he was deeply passionate about. He has been planning this sorta of after school program for months now, and being only just a few seconds away from the people walking in to sign in their kids any minute.

It felt like forever until somebody and their child finally walked through the doors of his studio. He was a sort of average height, maybe a bit shorter. He had slick back hair and wore a dark blue sweater with it resting halfway on his head. He looked familiar, but the he couldn't put that face to anyone he's met before. The man was holding a little boy's hand, most likely his son. He looked about six and had dirty blonde hair and was carrying a semi-large turtle plush. The kid looked extremely shy, constantly hiding behind his fathers leg."Hello! Hello! Welcome!" Stephen burst, jumping from his seat, and greeting the parent to shake his hand. He felt something, but didn't think to much of it.

"Hey! This is the after school club right?" The man asked, halfway smiling.

"Yes it is! You can just check you child's name out on the sign in sheet and you can enter the door in the right and it will take you right to art room!" Stephen smiled. "Will he be in there by himself or do you want me to stay in there―"

"Oh! Uh... You know I was just so excited to meet my students for the year I didn't really think about that," Stephen worried. "Just one second." Stephen quickly went in the backroom behind the lobby desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a marker. He quickly jotted down "Please check out your child's name on the paper and go to the room on the right," Immediately after he wrote it down he jumped back out to the lobby and there were 3 more people who already came in. "Oh! Hello! You guys can just sign up here―"

"Oh that's okay, I already told them." The man who first walked in spoke up.

"Oh! Thank you!" Stephen smiled, hanging the sign up near the door. "Alright I would love if you guys would follow me back here," Stephen guided them to the downstairs of the studio were the class was going to be. All the kids but one gasped and ran to walk around and look, all but one. More kids would enter with parents and run around the room, looking at art, playing with supplies, or playing with the many giant stuffed animals in the room. Some even going in the small library and checking out all the unique type of books in it. Except for that one, that one that was still hiding behind his dad. The father was constantly trying to get him to go and play, but he would just hide even more. Stephen recognized it and walked over towards them. "I'm sorry he's is just really really shy―"

"Oh it's okay, what's his name?" Stephen asked.

"Peter." the man responded. Stephen bent down to the same level as Peter's and greeted himself.

"Hi Peter! My name is Dr. Strange and I just want to let you know you are going to have some much fun here! You see all the kids already being dropped off? They're going to be your new friends! So why don't you go over there and play with them?" Stephen smiled. Peter shook his head fairly firmly and hid further behind his dad. Stephen stood up and told the father he would be right back. He went into the lobby and went to the back room. He grabbed a few pieces of white copy paper, a pencil, and a small pack of crayons, then walked back out to the studio. 

Quickly, Stephen trotted over to where the kid was and offered him the set. "Here, you can pick any spot down here and you can sit and draw by yourself. But when class starts you're going to have to be with us! Okay?"

Peter took the supplies and nodded and walked about 4 feet away from where he originally was. "Thank you so much, he's not usually this shy. At home he's all over the place."

"It's no problem. You know I feel like I've seen you somewhere...?'' 

"Tony Stark." 

Stephen gasped but was quickly shushed by Tony, "Shh I really don't want any paparazzi or attention right now. I'm just here to drop off my son."

"Alright, understandable. You know I was just shocked to see you _here_ at _my_ studio. It's really an honor." Stephen smiled. 

"Thank you. Well I am pretty sure Peter will open up soon. Thank you for being so kind to him. I'll see you again when I pick him up." Tony smiled slightly and waved, walking out of the studio.

Stephen waved back and turned to his class. Peter was still drawing and holding his turtle plush in his arm. But he couldn't help but think about the fact that he was babysitting the kid of Anthony Edward Stark. The would renowned mechanic billionaire. Someone he looked up to. But Stephen felt different when seeing him. Sure he was excited, but he felt― "Are we going to start drawing now? How come that kid is the only one that is drawing? Can we draw too?" a young kid pounded him with questions. Stephen quickly looked at his watch and became wide-eyed. He was ten minutes late to starting the class. 

Stephen turned around and smiled. "Okay everyone! Class is starting soon! We will be introducing ourselves here in the library center," Stephen announced, pointing towards the library. 

All the children began walking, some running towards the library room. Stephen was thrilled to finally begin his first class.


	2. Chapter 2

The class lasted 2 hours and it ended as quickly as it began. As kids were being picked up Stephen couldn't help but be proud of how he god Peter to come out of his shell. It only took a bit of pushing and soon that could would be running around the place with markers or crayons in his hands. He was always switching tables to make friends with new people and was just constantly out of his seat.

Peter was the last kid left, so he was sitting at a table and drawing. It was around the time rush hour began, so the kid's dad being late wasn't unusual. Stephen was organizing things back together. Cleaning up markers that were on the floor, arranging chairs back to their assigned table, etc. Peter was relatively quiet, which was odd. Like said before, he was outgoing. Always asking questions, always out his seat, running around and just generally an excited kid, but now he was as quiet as he was when dropped off. Out of curiosity, Stephen asked why. "Hey Peter, why are you quiet again?"

"Hm?" He looked up, then back down at his drawing, "Oh, I dunno." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Hm, okay." Stephen took a break from setting up and sat down across from Peter. "May I ask what you're drawing?"

Peter held up his drawing, "My pet turtle, Dragon."

"Oh? Is that who your turtle plush is supposed to be?"

Peter nodded and sat his drawing back down to continue working on it. Stephen looked off to the side and decided to doodle just like the kid was. He grabbed a piece of paper and pencil from the middle and began sketching. It was quiet after the small talk, but Stephen was growing a bit worried about how late Tony was. It was already about fifteen minutes past release. Sure Stephen doesn't know how far Tony lives from the studio or how bad traffic is right now, but being this late just makes him mind flood. Does he have to take the kid home? Tony left his phone number number private when signing him up online so he can't call him. Would he have to watch a kid for the night? "Sorry my dad is not here." Peter apologized, interrupting his thinking.

"Oh that's okay, Peter―"

"He is a really busy dad. That's what he tells me. My dad is really lonely." Peter added unexpectedly.

Stephen raised an eyebrow and sat back at his seat. "Huh?"

"I dunno, he just looks lonely to me. But he has me so I guess he's not lonely."

Stephen looked at the kid pretty oddly. It was an odd thing for a little kid to just say that out of know where. The two weren't even on the topic of loneliness, it was about how late his father was being. Stephen was so curious about why he brought it up he questioned, "Why did you say he's lonely?"

"What?"

"I mean, we weren't even on that subject."

"Well I just feel like people should know."

"Why?"

"Because he is famous and people probably thing he is super good at making friends and get's a lot of girlfriends, but that's not what happens. He is lonely. I really hate seeing how lonely my dad is. Like sometimes he spends all day in his workshop and when I come down there he says he's busy. But when he is in public like on the red carpet or something he is smiling and taking pictures and stuff. I wish he was like that at home." Peter rambled.

After that, Peter stopped drawing and put his plush on the table and laid down on it. Stephen looked at him worriedly and with sympathy. He knows that famous celebrity's life aren't like they are on social media or in the public. Everyone always has something going on at home, but knowing the famously known billionaire Tony Stark is basically depressed at home. It's almost hard to believe because of how excited he acts when he is on the red carpet or being interviewed, but his kid just sat here and basically told him he is unhappy. "Don't tell dad I said this please." Peter asked.

"I―"

"Hello I'm here!!" Tony interrupted, rushing towards Peter. "I am so sorry I was so late! I um, just hit bad bad traffic and it just took forever to finally get here."

"Hey don't worry about it. Besides, Peter finally opened up to everyone and had a great time!" Stephen smiled.

"That's good! I'm really glad he opened up I knew he would." Tony responded, grabbing his sons hand. "Well thank you so much for being patient with me I greatly appreciate it."

"You're welcome! Can't wait to see him again tomorrow." Stephen smiled waving.

As they walked out Stephen began to think about the conversation he had. It was an odd conversation for a kid to bring up but kids are notorious on bringing up odd topics or sharing stuff their parents usually don't want them to share. Plus he had just personally met the guy yesterday, he met a celebrity and now he knows that celebrity's life at home. Stephen began to feel sympathetic, but he just brushed it off. Unfortunately there was nothing somebody like him could do.


	3. Chapter 3

On the way home it was mostly quiet. Peter had fallen asleep only minutes after he got in the car, so Tony had to carry him to his bed once they reached the house. As of right now he was cleaning up on some leftover dishes he had before he went out to pick up Peter. Speaking of picking up his son, he couldn't help but think about why he was late and how bad he felt for being late for what it felt like the thousandth time.

On his way to Stephen's House of Arts he ran low on gas and had drove by the closest gas station. When he pulled in he got out of the car without putting much of a disguise on, thinking that nobody at a gas station would recognize him. He was extremely wrong. As he was getting gas he heard a fan scream his name then 3 other people ran up to him causing an enormous scene. People in traffic were driving into the gas station just to whip out their phone and/or papers to get a picture or an autograph. Minutes after that female had called his name he was already trampled by people. He did his best to not yell at the people to not to be immediately put onto the news and receive immediate backlash, so he had peacefully stated stuff like, "Please go away I am just trying to get gas," or "No paparazzi right now please I am trying to pick up my son."

After what it felt like hours to him, he finally got to get in his car and drive off. After that Tony took a glance at the time on the car and realized he was already ten minutes late to picking up Peter. Every single time Tony was late to picking him up made him feel worse about himself. It was almost like an all the time thing where he was late to picking him up. One time Tony came a whole hour and 30 minute late because of the same reason he was late now, but worse. He tried to shake away the memory, but just couldn't. Every time Tony was late that moment stuck with him forever.

His thought were interrupted when he heard loud footsteps come from the stairs onto the hard living room floor. It was Peter, wide awake. "Hey Pete have a good nap?"

Peter yawned, sitting down at the coffee table in the living room. "Yea." Peter placed down a piece of paper, some markers, and a pencil that was in his hand.

Tony put away the last dish and walked over and sat in front of him. "So, what are you going to draw?"

"Dr.Strange. I'm going to draw him as a superhero."

"Oh really? What powers is he going to have?"

"I dunno, like something like magical powers. Like a wizard."

"Ohh, okay." Tony paused for a second, then continued the conversation. "So what did you do at camp?"

"We just talked about us and what we do and stuff. Oh! Dr.Strange told us how he became an artist. He used to be like a um, uh.... I don't remember. But he used to be that and then he hurt his hands in a car accident so he had to stop doing his old job then he said after months of being―having no job he started drawing and that's how he became an artist."

"Hm, that's interesting." Tony leaned in closer to get a better look at his drawing, "I bet your teacher will think that's absolutely amazing." he smiled.

"Of course he will! This is the best drawing ever!" Peter smiled, holding it up. 

Tony smiled and looked down at his watch. He instantly realized he was a bit late to beginning work in the workshop. He then stood up and stretched. "Alright Pete I gotta head to work." 

Tony's heart sank once more as he saw his son impression change quickly and drastically from excited to sad. He laid his drawing down slowly and began to sulk. He didn't say anything and just continued to draw in silence. "Hey Peter it's okay... It wont be long." 

"It's okay daddy. I need to focus on this drawing, so it turns out better than amazing!" Peter smiled.

That smile hurt Tony. It hurt him because inside because he knew the kid wasn't as happy as he was acting. He was ashamed, he felt like an awful dad every time he announced he was about to go work. Tony knew he wasn't going to be back soon, he knows working is something that is so hard to stop once he starts. Tony smiled and just said a simple okay and told him he was going to be back, but hates lying. There were days where he would spend all night in the workshop and wouldn't realize it. He would be working and then all of the sudden Peter would be knocking to come up in his workshop saying he is about to leave for school. It's hard not to work almost 24/7 when you suffer from constant insomnia, why try hours to try and fall asleep when you can be getting work done? Those hours of constantly trying to get rest can be put to good use. He had just wish he had someone here that could entertain and be a good parent figure to Peter. Something he is unfortunately unable to do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who has read and dropped kudos to this story! Really encourages me to writing more <3! Wanna message me? my tumblr is Lezbyen.tumblr.com!

It was about an hour before people were going to begin arriving at the studio, so Stephen decided to invite a friend over to talk to while setting up. An old work mate Christine Palmer. A woman that would always be by his side, even if he didn't treat her so well by being traumatized after the car accident. Stephen to this day still feels bad by how he had treated her no matter how many times Christine has told him it was okay and understood how he felt. It was pretty quiet in the studio, so Stephen decided to bring up small talk. "So yesterday I had a kid dropped off here and I bet you won't be able to guess who the father was?"

Christine paused for a second to think, but after a few seconds she gave up and asked, "Who?"

"Tony Stark!"

Christine gasped sharply, "Anthony Edward Stark? He is coming here everyday now to drop off his kid?! Stephen that is awesome I am extremely jealous! You think I could stay by and see him when he drops his son off? Oh what's his son's name again? Peter? Wow that is so cool! I am so so jealous!!"

"Wow! You know I didn't expect you to believe me so quick, but yea! It really is him, dropping his kid off at  _my_ after school program. It really is an honor! I highly suggest you don't greet him when he comes though. That's  _if_ you end up sticking around, but Tony is really strict about people knowing he's Tony in public."

Christine nodded, going back to setting up. "I understand, being as famous as him must be tough trying to be out in public. Still awesome though! So what do you plan on doing in class today?" 

Stephen thought for a minute, then remembered. "Maybe something like draw your favorite animal or pet as a superhero? I don't know something along those lines. Maybe we can have a superhero day and princess if some kids don't like superheros. I think it would be something cute and fun for the kids." Stephen smiled. 

"You know Stephen, it makes me so happy to here how much you have grown since the accident. Like you were always so depressed and you know it just really hurt me to see you like that. I am just glad you finally found something you're passionate about." Christine chuckled. "I know it's been a year but I just gotta say it." 

"You say that nearly every day, Christine." Stephen gleamed. 

Knowing he recovered fully from depression usually brights Stephen up. Back when he had first found out he would have to quit his job as a surgeon. Back then he was barely able to hold a cup longer than 2 seconds without dropping it. At that point he thought nothing would lift him up, but it did, one day he began drawing as a vent mechanism. After a while he started drawing more abstract things. Like people, objects, animals, anything he could imagine, and he instantly became hooked. Now here he is on day two of his after school class. Stephen couldn't help but smile at the tiny reminder.

Stephen glanced over at the clock.  _Only twenty minutes until class starts_ Stephen whispered to himself. "So people are going to start coming soon, you can stay and maybe see him? But I don't think it's a good idea to walk up to him. Also no pictures please? Not even sneaks."

"Okay! Okay! I get it Stephen sheesh!" Christine smiled, looking away. 

It was quiet for a while, then Christen broke the silence. "You like him?"

"What?! No! And even if I did what's the chance? He is a famous celebrity. A Billionaire at that. He'd just think I'm for him for his money and I wouldn't blame him." 

"I think you'd have a chance. Besides, what about all those other famous celebrities who get boyfriends or girlfriends that are just average people?"

"Well Christine they usually break up because they realize the other one is at them for money. I'm not interested in him let's leave it at that." Stephen ended.

After that it was quiet, nothing but the sounds of paper rustling and things being moved around. Christine began wondering if she had pissed him off for asking that question. It wasn't a big deal. 

Christine decided to leave before Tony had gotten their to avoid any awkward instances between her and Stephen. This left Stephen alone with his thoughts. His very _confusing_ thoughts.  _Do I like him...?_ Stephen thought. He never viewed it in that way. Yea he looked up to Tony, but didn't everyone? Tony was worldwide known, so there are people around the world who have celebrity crushes on him, this could just be another one. Also, if he liked him, wouldn't he had acted a bit different when he met him? Wouldn't had noticed him first thing when he entered the door with his son? _No, I couldn't like him. I didn't even think about the idea of liking him until Christine brought it up. Who cares if I did anyways? He is a celebrity, it's a common thing. No big deal._ Stephen told himself. "Christine doesn't know what she's talking about. I don't even know what I'm talking about." Stephen chuckled.

After he said that he heard the office door open. It was Tony and Peter. "Hey! You guys are early!"

"Well Peter was just so excited to get here I wanted to take him as early as possible. Oh and to beat traffic of course." 

"Ohhh okay, understandable! Traffic can get wild in New York if you leave at the wrong time." Stephen joked.

"Yea." Tony responded, patting his son on the back. 

Peter pulled out something from behind his back. It was a drawing. Shyly, he lifted it up as high as he could and said almost inaudibly "Here you go, I drew you this." 

Stephen gently took it from his hands and admired it. He gasped and his face lit it. "Oh is this me as a superhero? Aw this is amazing Peter! Better than amazing! I'm going to hang it up on my desk upstairs in my office so every time I work I can see it!" Stephen smiled. 

"Really?!" Peter jumped.

"Yes really! Right when class is done I'll hang it up!" Stephen smiled.

Peter light up, "Did you hear that, Daddy? I told you it was going to be better than amazing!"

"I told you he would really like it Peter!" Tony smiled, patting him on the head. 

"I'm going to go draw something else! Something just as cool as that one!" Peter yelled, making a dash over to one of the small tables. 

Stephen smiled as he looked at the kid and at how excited he was. Stephen loved kids and just making ones day like that made him feel extremely good about himself. "Stephen." Immediately Stephens heart dropped. It was just something about that fact that a famous celebrity called him by name, or maybe something else? Either or his heart was racing at his point. 

"Yes?" Stephen answered, nearly stuttering. 

"I just want to thank you for treating me like a normal person. Usually when I tell people who I am they scream my name then everyone looks and realizes who I am. It becomes a mess afterwards. Anyways, it's just nice to not be treated as a celebrity for once, I appreciate it." 

Stephen was so stuck if he tried to reply by saying "You're welcome," it would just come out as a massive stutter. "But um, anyway. I have things to do. I'll see you when I come back to pick him up. Bye Peter!" Tony waved.

"Bye daddy!" Peter smiled brightly while waving back. 

Stephen checked his watch, only about few minutes until people would begin pouring in. He decided to take a seat in front of Peter while he drew. "So what did daddy tell you?" Peter smiled, still focused his drawing.

"Oh! Um, just some boring adult stuff." Stephen lied.

"Oh." Peter paused for a second, then spoke again. "Do you like my dad?" 

"What do you mean? Of course I do. He is a genuinely good person; the stuff he create is almost unbelievable. Who doesn't like him?" Stephen smiled.

"I guess a lot of people." 

Stephen lifted in eyebrow in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Well if people liked him he would have a lot of friends. Don't friends invite friends over to their houses? My dad never has anyone over, maybe one or two but they never really come back." 

"Well Peter you have to understand. Being famous like him is tough. It's hard to get real friends or real significant others. You know, ones that aren't interested in him for money only or fame because they know them."

"Oh."

"Did you get all of that?"

"Kinda." Peter responded.

Stephen laughed. It was quiet after that. Stephen began to sit and wonder what point was this kid trying to get across? He was always telling him how lonely his dad was and constantly talking about him when it was only the two of them. It was odd, but Stephen simply kept brushing it off as just a kid thing. Peter opened his mouth about to say something when a parent and their child walked through the doors.  _I wonder what he was going to say_ Stephen thought, but after awhile he simply brushed it off as a kid thing.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Class came by as soon as it started. Christine actually came back to help around with the class, but left about a couple minutes before class was over to avoid any contact with Tony. It was odd she was still on about not meeting him, but Stephen decided to leave that conversation after Peter left.

Stephen knew Tony would be late, but he understood it. Because of this Stephen did all he could to continue entertaining the kid until his father came. Peter volunteered to help him clean up everything instead of drawing. It was an odd gesture for a young kid like him, but it was more unusual that he hadn't said a word yet. Reminder that everyone has already left and they have been alone for about ten minutes. "Do you think I should draw my dad as a superhero?" _There he goes_ Stephen chuckled. 

"I think he would really like that, Peter. What would he be?" 

"I dunno." Peter replied. 

Stephen silently nodded his head and continued on cleaning up the room. Stephen had too much on his mind to try to continue on a conversation with him. A lot on his mind meaning the conversation Tony and him had earlier. Telling him how he appreciated how he treated him. Stephen continuously tried to brush of the thought simply as "Oh I'm just fluttering because he's a celebrity" but he couldn't dismiss it like that, no matter how hard he tried. The way he stuttered when his name was called and how his hands wear shaking more than the usual. Stephen was so out of mind that if he tried to respond to Tony it would come out as an obvious nervous like stutter. 

Stephen began thinking harder, even stopping in the middle of wiping of picking up crayons. He thought about how Tony was most likely straight and how even if he got to the point of friendship where he asked him out he would quickly deny it. He though about Tony's reaction if he did ask him out. Would he hate him? Would he not believe him that he's in it for him and non of his fame or money? Would Tony and him every get to the point of a friendship? "What the hell am I talking about?!" Stephen shouted snapping back to reality. He gasped and covered his mouth quickly and looked over at Peter who was just peacefully drawing. He took a big sigh of relief then looked out the window. It was extremely dark outside and windy. 

Out of fear he looked at his watch and realized it was thirty minutes past release.  _Do I have to bring this kid down to the basement?! Where is this kids dad? I understand he is busy but it's getting terrible outside._ Stephen began to collect himself and told himself not to worry until the severe weather warning went off on his phone. It was just a storm that would quickly pass. "Dr.Strange it looks really scary outside!!" Peter yelled. 

"Everything's going to be okay-" Stephen's focus turned to the studio door when he heard somebody bang on the lounge door. Stephen looked at Peter and motioned him to stay behind the studio door. 

He went and opened the door and saw Tony, drenched. Quickly he ran up to the door and unlocked it, letting him in and some of the rain in. "Whoa you alright―"

"Were's Peter? Is he alright?" Tony interrupted.

"Yea he's okay, he is in the studio right now, but Tony―"

Tony brushed past him and immediately ran up towards his son to pick him up. "Hey Peter! I'm here sorry for being late― _again._ "

"I-it's okay, but do we have to drive back in  _that_?" Peter pointed worriedly at the raging storm. It was windy and things like leaves were blowing everywhere. The rain was also violent and all together incredibly unsafe to drive in. 

Tony looked at Stephen then back at Peter. "Um..."

"You can stay here I don't really mind. I mean of course until the storm passes." Stephen offered. 

Tony took a good look outside, at his son, then back outside. Tony sighed and put down his son. He was hesitant,  _very hesitant,_ but agreed to staying and waiting for the storm the die down. Peter ran behind Tony as thunder crashed from the outside. "Hey Pete it's going to be alright. It's probably going to go away soon, and plus! Were we are is super safe!" Tony comforted, picking him up once again.

Tony took his hoodie off and sunglasses he had on to keep up his identity, fully revealing his face to Stephen. Stephen heart was  _racing._ It felt as if it would break out through his ribs. He became nervous and shaky, but tried not to show all of these symptoms. "Feels nice to take these off in public." He smiled, sitting them on top of one of the many tables. He sat Peter down at the same table and decided to sit across from him for comfort. Peter got up and started pulling a chair from one of the tables in the studio. As he was pulling up the chair Stephen took a look at his phone to check the weather for any alerts and when the storm would die down. "Hey guys if it gets too bad we could go in the basement?" Stephen offered, immediately regretting his choice of words.  _That probably won't come across too good._ Stephen thought.

"No that's alright." Tony smiled.

Peter pulled up the chair to were him and his dad were sitting and patted it looking directly at Stephen. Stephen looked around to mess with him then pointed at him whispering, "Me?" 

"Yes." 

Stephen, nervous, took a seat in the chair that happened to be put in between the two. After he took a seat, Peter looked outside then grabbed drawing materials and began doing what he did best. Since Peter was talking to keep up a conversation the room was quiet and most importantly  _awkward._ Stephen would occasionally feel Tony staring at him for about a few seconds. Yes it was a little amount of time, but to him it felt like minutes. He didn't know why he was nervous. Why didn't he act this way or feel this way when he would be skimming the TV for something to watch and see Tony on there? Or see him somewhere on the internet? It was just out of the blue he felt this way ever since that talk with Christine. "This is nice." Tony spoke, breaking the silence. 

"What do you mean? There is a raging storm out there!!" Peter yelled.

"No Peter I'm talking about this. Not often do I get to go places with you. You know just being out in public normally is nice." Tony gleaned. "All thanks to you, Stephen."

Stephen looked at Tony wide-eyed. His heart jumped when he had heard that last sentence, he never expected it out of him. "Whaat? Huh? I mean it's no big deal!" Stephen fluttered, hiding his face. 

"No really. Thank you for treating me so normally. Treating _us_ so normally."

Stephen turned back and smiled, hoping Tony nor the kid would realized how red he was. Luckily Peter was focused on his drawing and Tony was focused on what he was drawing. Stephen tried to relax by fiddling with his fingers. He was so tense, heart racing, nearly sweating, turning red, and his hands were shaking an unusual amount. He tried to focus on something to keep himself calm so he looked outside, the storm was calming down. 

Stephen got upset. He expected it to last a bit longer so maybe he could get to know Tony, but he didn't expect much anyway. So what if the storm lasted longer? Tony wouldn't tell him about his life or what he did because he's famous. Tony took a glance over at the window and then at his watch. "Well the storm is starting to die out so me and Peter will be heading out. Thank you for letting us stay here while the storm died down." Tony thanked, putting his "disguise" back on.

"I-It's no big deal!" Stephen stuttered,  _Damn it Strange_ Stephen mumbled.

When they walked off Peter took his drawing and took one last look at Stephen and smiled. Stephen smiled back and thought nothing of it. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Tony and Peter had already gotten home and Peter was sleep in his room. The car ride was silent because only being in the car for two minutes Peter fell asleep. Still asleep up in his room now. This gave time for Tony to relax for the time Peter was sleep. He had just finished brewing up tea, not coffee this time. The storm had died down to just some rain so he could sit on the couch and relax while sipping his tea.

Tony had a small talk with himself on the way home. He was going to spend time with his son this time. No working at all today. He even decided not to do it when Peter was sleep, Tony needed a break and finally realized it. He knew it would be hard to not visit his workshop at least once today. Not going to check if everything was in order or if everything was in the same place as he put it last or if everything was still working, but he was going to restrain himself. He took a sip out of his tea and laid back out on the couch. "No working today, Anthony." Tony mumbled to himself, closing his eyes slowly.

Tony's eyes immediately shot open when he heard Peter racing down the stairs nearly out of breath. He turned behind him to see him with a pack of crayons, markers, and papers under one arm. Then another holding his turtle on top of his head. He ran over towards the coffee table in front of the couch Tony was sitting at, out of breath. Gently he put his turtle down on the table then pulled out a pencil and started drawing. Tony looked confused then sat his tea on the table. "Uhhh you wanna tell me what all that was about?" Tony chuckled.

"I had a drawing idea.... And... I needed to...." Peter sat back and rested on his hands and took a deep breath, "Draw it so uhm.... Whew!! I wouldn't forget." Peter responded.

"What's the drawing? It must be really cool if you were so quick to come and draw it!" Tony smiled.

"I'm going to Dragon as an actual dragon and I'm going to be the knight!" Peter smiled, putting Dragon back in front of him.

"Ohhh! Sounds neat." Tony smiled. "So you want to share what you did in class today?"

"Hmm..." Peter stopped drawing for a second and raised his hand to his chin. "I don't remember, but I do remember Dr. Strange drawing a picture of Dragon in my sketchbook, it was wrong but it was so good I didn't care. Oh! I also asked him if he could draw you so I could give it to you but he told me he couldn't draw people. But that didn't make a lot of sense since a lot of the drawings on his walls but maybe he doesn't know what you look like? I don't know, but aren't you famous? Doesn't everyone know you? I don't know. But that drawing of Dragon was so cool!!! I wish I brought it home." Peter answered.

 

 _What an unusually long answer..._ Tony thought.

"Dr. Strange talks to you weird." Peter added, still fairly focused on his drawing. 

Tony took another drink of his tea and quickly rested it back on the table in confusion. "Well what a random addition. Also who wouldn't be nervous talking to a celebrity? It's just normal."

"Can a boy have a boyfriend?" Peter asked. 

"Yes Peter." 

"Oh! Hm... I think Dr. Strange likes you then." 

"I doubt it Pete. The man's most likely nervous." Tony responded, obviously trying to avoid the topic.

"He wasn't feeling that way when he first saw you come in and drop me off. Like when you said you were thankful to him he talked weird. They same way you talk when around girls and some... _boys_." Peter dropped his pencil and looked up at Tony wide eyed.

"Okay Peter that's―"

"When I watch cartoons the boy always like mess up his words when they talk to the girl or get like red. I forgot the word but that's what Dr. Strange was doing. I noticed it but I was to―I was like trying to draw. I forgot the word... Focus? Yea, that on my drawing, but I saw him. Maybe I should ask him. Would you be his boyfriend if he asked?" 

"Peter no."

"Why not?"

"I don't know Peter. For one I am never going to just walk up to some normal person not expecting them to be nervous or excited or formal. I never get a formal reaction. Shouldn't you know that? Sometimes you go to the red carpet with me Peter you know how people talk to me. It's normal. How Steph― I mean Dr. Strange acted when talking to me when I thanked him was just him being nervous. Also, I just don't need it right now. Don't you like it when it's just me and you?" Tony responded.

Peter sat his head on the table and sighed. "But I also want to see you happy, daddy." 

"I am happy, Peter. I really am. Being famous is awesome and I have the best son ever! What else is there to want?" Tony fake smiled.

Tony waited a little while for a response, then his heart shattered. Peter. His lip began to quiver and eyes filled up with tears. "Daddy you aren't. I-I know it..." his son quaked. Tony rushed up from the couch and ran up to his son, holding him close with his arms wrapped firmly around him. "I am Peter... You don't have to cry it's okay..." Tony comforted. He picked him up and lifted him over his shoulder softly rubbing his back. Tony started shaking and tried to hold his oncoming tears in. He felt guilty and like he was a terrible father. "Hey Peter it's alright..." Tony told him.

"I know... I know you don't like it when I do that but I just want to see you be happy, daddy."

"But Peter I  _am_ happy. I am happy with just you and even Dragon. I promise. I would still be happy if I wasn't famous and I had you, Peter." Tony responded.

Peter was quiet for a while, just a little bit of sniffles here and there. Then he softly said "Okay," 

"Do you want to continue drawing?" Tony asked.

Peter nodded. Tony slowly put him back down in front of his drawing. Tony took Dragon, which was many feet away from the table, and put him back in front of Peter. Tony sat next to Peter and began to admire what he was drawing, but his mind was racing with thoughts. No Tony wasn't happy. He felt like a terrible father figure and just a person overall. Seeing his son cry like that because he "failed" to make him happy made it feel as he had been shot right through his heart. It hurt to know he had to basically lie to his son to make him feel better. Peter knew he wasn't happy, Tony knew  _Peter_ knew he wasn't happy. All Tony could do right now is just hope whatever is keeping him down emotionally goes away. But for now it doesn't look as if it's leaving anytime soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Tony woke up in a cold sweat. Something he was familiar doing but this time it was a bit harsher. He was trembling ferociously and sweating so harshly there where sweat stains on the bed, he also felt sick to his stomach. He hadn't remembered having a bad dream or any sort of sickness. Peter was fine the night before and Tony usually stays home and eats healthily, so what he was experiencing was odd.

He lifted himself up and grabbed the cup of water on his nightstand and took a small sip, it didn't make him feel any better. All of the sudden he grew tired and seconds later he was fast asleep.

 

\-------------

Stephen had set up everything extra early so he would have some quiet time to himself. He was sitting at one of the kiddie tables with a cup of coffee and an artist notebook. Stephen sometimes enjoyed the life of being alone. Nothing but the sounds of the outside and his pencil lead hitting the paper to sooth him. He sat back in his seat and took a deep breath, gazing up at the ceiling. The smell of his coffee and how quiet the room was almost made him doze off. 

Stephen stretched then sat back up going back to drawing. He checked at his watch;  _3:05. Still enough time to myself_ Stephen relaxed. Then he heard a knock at the very front door in the lobby. Stephen jumped from his seat and rushed up to the studio door than the lobby door. It was Tony and Peter. Shocked, Stephen began unlocking the door then when he opened it asked why the two where so early to class. "Peter had early release!" Tony answered, walking in the door along with Peter.

"Oh!" Stephen responded with a smile. "Well um, you can just drop him off here and I'll watch over him until class starts which is in about..." Stephen paused to check his watch, "An hour and twenty-five minutes..."

"Yea I know it is a while, but I just had some sort of meeting to get to and the babysitter that usually helps me was really sick, so I though I could bring him early? If that's a problem I can just bring him home and find a babysitter, it's not big deal―"

"Oh no no it's okay! I can keep him here. I have no problem with it." Stephen offered. 

"Thank you  _so_ much, Stephen. I very much appreciate it." Tony smiled. "Well I'm off. I've got a meeting very soon and would like to get home so I'm not late. Once again I know it was a bit rude to just bring him here like that now that I actually um... Thought about it―" 

"Tony. It's okay, I promise. You should go now so you aren't late." Stephen initiated. 

Tony nodded and smiled. Heading near the studio door said his goodbyes and left. After he was gone Stephen went to turn and look for Peter who was already drawing at one of the tables. Curious, Stephen walked over to his table and sat across from him, "So... What are you drawing?"

Seconds after he asked Peter aggressively held up a picture. It was him and Tony with a heart in the middle. "Um...?"

"I know you like him." Peter softly whispered.

"What?"

"My dad. I know you like him." 

"I mean of course I do. He's a nice gu―"

"No I mean...  _Like_ like him." 

Stephen was put into complete shock.  _What the hell is this kid up to?_ He thought. "I don't understand what you mean," Stephen lied, trying to change the subject. Then he had forgot this was a six year old child he was talking to, conversation changers aren't easy to do when a kid is set on one. 

"Like like. Daddy told me yesterday a boy can have a boyfriend so that made me think because when I watch TV I usually see the boy get red and like mess up his words when―when he talks to a girl he likes, that's what you did yesterday. Like like means you want him to be your boyfriend. Right?" Peter rambled.

Stephen sat back in his seat turning extremely red. He knew the kid would notice it, but tried to focus on ending the conversation there so he wouldn't. "Not really. Who doesn't get nervous around a celebrity you know? It's normal." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Then why are you turning red now?" Peter interrogated. 

"Because it's really hot in here. I usually keep it kind of warm you ever notice?" Stephen got up from his seat and walked over to the thermostat to pretend to turn the heat down.

"Oh, Okay." Peter responded with a sad tone to his voice.

Stephen of course felt guilty. His goal was to bring joy into children, he loved kids and always wanted to make them happy. Hearing a kid get so upset made his heart sink deep into his stomach. Yes Stephen had admitted to himself that he liked Tony, but so what? He is a celebrity, many people adore him, love him, and crush on him. Tony is most likely used to people telling him that they love him and many other things related to that. If he told Peter that he liked him in that way Tony would most likely think of him as less of a person. Another fan in his perspective. 

When Stephen came back to the table Peter was silently drawing. Next to him on the floor was a crumbled up piece of paper, most likely that drawing he drew a couple of minutes ago. Stephen sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't want Peter upset, but he didn't want to tell him the truth either. Kids are notorious for spilling secrets no matter how many times they promise they wont tell, and like said before, Stephen didn't want the way Tony looked at him to change. "Peter―"

"You know? My dad said the same thing. The um, celebrity? Thing. I think that's what it was. But if you want I can just stop talking about it. I know it probably makes you not comfortable and I don't want to do that. Can you at least become friends with him? My dad is so lonely it makes me really sad." Peter sulked.

"Sure Peter." Stephen smiled.

"You Promise?" 

"I promise." Stephen. 

Peter smiled and went back to drawing. Stephen sighed and looked at his watch, it was already twenty minutes until people what start arriving. So, he sat back in his chair to receive as much relaxation possible. 


	8. Chapter 8

Stephen had just got done with explaining today's activity and the kids already began working. It was an arts and crafts where they where building whatever animal they wanted with. Class was going well until Stephen heard a knock at the door. He immediately assumed it was Tony. Stephen quickly paced over to the studio door and put a door stop underneath it. From this view he could get a good look at who was behind the door, and it was definitely not Tony.

It was a man, looked about in his young thirties. He wore a blue sweater and black shorts. He had never seen the guy before but didn't take any suspicion because people where constantly coming in to register their kids. It  _was_ weird that he had no kid with him, but being the kind man he was, Stephen let him in. "Hi! Are you here to register your child?"

The man shook his head no and responded, "Um no, right now I'm just here to look around? Like see what this place is all about and see if its good for my kid." He smiled kindly.

"Oh! Um... Okay." Stephen agreed with, very hesitantly.

With a keen eye on the man, they both walked back to the Studio room. The man seemed to not gain any attention from the kids as they where all too busy with their projects. He began to walk around and glance up at the paintings and creations up on the wall. All the many decorations and designs hung up onto the wall where fascinating to him, but Stephen knew something was up. Like his brain was waving a red flag in front of his eyes, warning him of the guy he had just let into his studio. Quietly, Stephen had walked over to him and placed his hand on his back, "Alright I think it's time to g-"

Stephen's words where cut short when the man threw his arm and threw him up against the wall, causing some paintings to fall down on top of him. The guy in the blue hoodie then drew out a pack of matches and lit them all at once, he then proceeded to throw the matches all around the studio. 

The room was filled with flames of orange and red, smoke rising above, and helpless kids screaming and running for their lives. Before the fire could spread and become more dangerous than it already is, the man fled. **_"No!"_** Stephen yelled, painfully trying to rise up. "Get out!! Get out!!" Stephen screamed, urging the kids to escape. Stephen threw himself up and ran as fast as he could to the lobby door to hold it open so his students could escape as unharmed as possible. The handle was already burning hot, the pain was so immense from holding it it felt as his skin was slowly peeling off. 

The flames grew larger and larger and the smoke became so dense Stephen could barely make out anybody, so he went back into the building. Coughing and crying, being burnt trying to look for students. He pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight.  _Nobody._ Quickly Stephen ran out of the building coughing his lungs out. He looked at the kids, scared and petrified. Shaking and trembling, some even crying. Stephen bent down with his arms enclosing all the kids into one small group. "Everything is going to be okay. You guys are all safe, outside." Stephen comforted. 

He pulled out his phone and dialed up a quick 9-1-1 call. From a distance you could hear sirens from a small distance. Stephen thanked god for having a firehouse so close to his studio. Stephen looked at his hands, he had a second degree burn. He shook it off as nothing and worried more about the kids and their safety than himself. Stephen guided all the children further from the studio and waited for everything to arrive. 

Stephen heart would sank further and further each and every second he would watch over his students. How frightened they where. Some where shaking and some where crying with no tears coming out. Almost as if they where traumatized. But none of them where hurt, absolutely no injuries on them and Stephen was extremely relieved. "Hey guys, everything is going to be okay. No body is hurt right? It's all right. We are all okay." Stephen smiled.

Some of his students nodded. Two children walked up into his arms hugging him tightly. Stephen hugged them back trying to provide as much emotional and physical support as possible. 

A couple minutes past and two fire trucks, two ambulances, and 4 police cars arrived at the building. Men from the trucks spilled out with hoses and dashing into the building. A police officer walked over to Stephen and his students to investigate the situation. Stephen began explaining how the man looked, what he wore, what his race was, and how the fire began. Two other police officers were talking to the kids and making sure they had no injuries and giving them moral support. 

While Stephen was explaining to the officer, he had happened to look down at his hands. The pain was returning and was the worst pain he had ever felt since the car accident. The police women had noticed and began questioning him about it. "Oh it's just a second degree burn. It's really nothing. Just worry about the k―"

"Sir that needs to be treated immediately." She interrupted, looking at the ambulance than back at Stephen. 

"It's fine. Please. I got this. I have a medical degree. I can handle it. I will get to the hospital once I am ensured all the kids are okay."

"Yes but how will you drive? We need to take care of it."

"No thank you. I will just call an uber. Riding in an ambulance cost a lot of money and from the looks of it..." Stephen glanced at the building, still engulfed in flames. " I don't have any of that..." Stephen's voice softened. 

"Whatever you want, Sir." The police brushed off, closing her notebook. 

Stephen looked behind him to check up on the kids, they where fine. He looked up at the building, his heart sank. Stephen began to sweat and his hands became shaky. A knot of tears curled up into his throat.

_Two kids where being wheeled out of the building with blankets covering their bodies._

_Then he had remembered._

_"_

_"Dr. Strange?" One of the kids asked._

_"Yes?" Stephen responded with a smile._

_"Can we go to the bathroom? I have to go really bad but I don't want to go alone. Can my sister come with me? Where is the bathroom? I kinda forgot."_

_Stephen got up from his desk and pointed to the right of him at a door. "There's the bathroom right there. And I have no problem with bringing your sister."_

_"_

Stephen quivered. Everything felt as if it was falling. His life coming down in a spiral. His vision was becoming blurred, his head was spinning and felt as a spear was pierced into his skull. Trying to hold in this panic attack incoming in front of all these kids. Stephen looked up at the building. The flames and smoke reflecting on his eyes. All the things precious to him realizing he lost. His paintings that took hours, his money, his studio that he worked his ass off to get to this point, the  _kids he killed._ _Oh the kids he blamed himself for killing._

_Forgetting they where in the bathroom._

_Not counting his students._

_Not doing a role call._

_Being a careless adult._

_Stephen looked at his hands, his students, the trucks, the kids being wheeled, the flames._

_He started to see black surround him. Then, in just an instant._

_Nothing._


	9. Chapter 9

Stephen's eyes opened up slowly. Only the sounds of the TV and a beeping heart rate monitor could be made out. He looked around, then down at his hands. Bandaged up. His brain flashed him with the memory of being in the hospital with his hands damaged after the nearly fatal car accident. Stephen sat his head back, looking up at the ceiling. Thoughts flooding his mind, the children.  _Oh the children._

He moved his head to face the TV. The news was playing. Oh was it the worst timing. 

" _On the news today the one and only and famous for his arts, Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange's studio "Stephen's House of Arts," was set on fire and from police investigation was proved to be an arson. The fire caused no injuries but sadly, two lives where lost. Twin siblings Carl and Lucy James where found **dead** in the building." _The news anchor took a brief pause then continued.  _"Police did find the man who set the building on fire from the matches left behind. Charleston Walker has been charged with arson and will be sentenced 15 years behind bars."_

With tears filling up his eyes, Stephen lifted his head back to the bed and once again glanced up at the ceiling. Tears streaming down his cheeks. Just as he had found happiness. Just as he thought life was getting _better_. It all spiraled down back to being in the hospital with his hands bandaged up and damaged. All his earnings and money gone. No job, no money, no anything. Stephen felt numb and bitter. Almost like nothing would get better. His hope for life was deepening. "Oh you're awake!!" A nurse sparked, walking into the hospital room.

"Hi Stephen! How are your hands? They alright? Are you alright?"

"I'm in pain. It's a second degree burn what do you mean " _Am I alright""_ Stephen scoffed. "Just tell me how much this is all going to cost." 

"We don't have the exact cost. But you're treatment, at the very least, is going to cost about $200k. But please don't worry about that now sir. We just need to focus on your health and―"

"I don't have the money for that..." Stephen cried, sitting up and putting his head low. "All of my money is _gone_." 

The nurse didn't respond. She took a deep breath and had asked to see his hands. She checked up on them and wrote something down on her clipboard. She then wrapped his hands back up and walked out the room, notifying Stephen before completely exiting. 

Nothing but silence filled the room. Stephen tried to get a few naps in, but failed. Every time his eyelids would touch, he would be remembered of that image, seeing the kids being wheeled. How it was his responsibility for the death of Carl and Lucy. He clenched his fist, ignoring the pain. Tears began streaming, but his face was still emotionless.

Stephen heard a knock at the door and heard a female voice greet him. "Hey Stephen." It was Christine.

Stephen sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn't believe even after what happened last time she still went to go visit him back in the hospital. "You don't have to respond. I understand. I saw what happened on the news and came as soon as possible. I'm here to support you, Stephen." Christine comforted. 

Stephen still hadn't spoken a word.

Christine took a seat in a chair next to the hospital bed and sat her things off to the side. It was hard to look at him like this. Christine has been seeing him nothing but happy for the past year. He learned to accept his hand disability, he learned to put stuff to the past and focus on the future. Stephen was over joyed every time she would come to visit him. Always planning to hangout, spending hours chatting about just about anything. He was _happy_. But here.  _Here..._ He was so drained. He looked more depressed here then he did after realizing he wouldn't be able to be a neurosurgeon anymore. It was almost like he was lifeless. More dead than alive. 

Christine had noticed whatever he was in the hospital for had to do with his hands which was most likely why he was acting like this. It still hurt. Her heart broke more and more as she looked at Stephen. He had his eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling with no noises but his heavy breathing. Christine, nearly in tears, placed her hand on his shoulder, "Stephen..." 

Stephen didn't move his head, but directed his eyes towards Christine. "Yea." He mumbled, barely even audible.

"You know I'm here for you right?"

"Yea. You said that already." Stephen responded, pointing his eyes back up at the ceiling, but more tired. "What am I going to do with myself now, Christine." He sat up slowly with his arms sat on his laps. "Living with the knowledge that you killed two kids younger the age of 7 because you're careless isn't easy you know? Maybe my life has just hit that point where it's over. Like everything good has already happened to me and I don't deserve anything better." Stephen's eyes reflected off the sunlight of outside. Tears streaming but still lying emotionless.

Christine's eyes began to fill up with tears. She placed a hand over her mouth to try and prevent them from escaping. "Stephen don't... That's not what's happening. Everyone has their bad moments... Like I said Stephen, I'm  _here."_

"When you spend technically eleven years on working up to be a neurosurgeon only to get the job of your dreams taken away because you can't keep your damn eyes on the road is tough. Then you treat your closest and only friend like shit for trying to help makes you feel even worse. Then you become," Stephen chuckled and turned his way to Christine with a fake smile, " _Happy,"_ he emphasized, "for a whole year and then this? Your studio burns down and then you kill two kids in the process? Then you get a second degree burn and it cost,  _at minimal,_ 200k dollars, then I have to pay ambulance bills? I really don't understand how my life could suddenly get better, Christine." Stephen sighed, crossing his arms and looking down at his lap. 

"Okay Stephen I want you to stop saying you killed those kids  _now._ You did not kill them. I don't know the story behind how they got stuck in the building or how they died, but I know you didn't kill them-"

"I did. I let that man into my studio because I was a piece of blind shit back then. Well a couple of hours ago." Stephen chuckled. "My brain was constantly telling me I was doing something wrong, but I didn't listen. Not only that but I forgot I sent to kids to the bathroom! What kind of teacher does that? Forgets he sends his students to the restroom. Not only did I do that but I didn't even bother counting or doing a role call. I killed those kids and you can not change my mind about it. That image of them being wheeled out and the realization of what I have truly done will never ever leave me, Christine."

After what was said the room grew silent. Nothing but the tiny sounds of nature and the beeping of the heart rate monitor filling the room and the noise of the TV. Christine looked up at Stephen who was crying once again. His eyes showing how lifeless he felt on the inside and almost the out. Christine reached out a hand and gently placed it on his arm, softly stroking it for comfort. "Do you have money to pay for your hospital bill?" She softly asked.

Stephen shook his head slowly.

"I can help you pay. I will pay for all of it if I need to." Christine offered with a gentle smile. 

Stephen didn't move. He shared a slight smile and thanked her. That's what Christine expected, he was distraught and if he didn't want to give an over the top reaction, he didn't have to. But deep down she knew he was overly grateful and that's all that mattered to her. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey just a heads up! I will NEVER forget about this story. When i take a while to update it's because i have writers block. Also thanks for 60+ KUDOS!!!! love you guys <3 - Fwutter

_A week after being out the hospital after 3 weeks of hospitality_

After being sent home from the hospital, bills payed and hands healed, Christine had offered to pay for him a hotel until he could find a job that could pay enough for an apartment to live in. As of now he had just gotten back from an interview of a nearby McDonalds. Not the best job but it was all he could find. He wasn't up to walking long distances and he never owned a car because one he thought he was unable to physically handle one and two he almost never left his studio. If needed to he would grocery shop at the store that is only a couple blocks down. 

Stephen had gotten into the job most likely because they were desperate for employees. Stephen was incredibly nervous for the first day. There wasn't a certain job he had at his job, he would just take turns ordering, delivering, the dishes, etc. Today he had deliver. Which meant he had to pick up orders from the cashier and then give the order to the assigned customer. He tried to think of the positives, he's been drawing for a year with no problem. His hands have never locked up like they used too before physical therapy. He should have no problem giving orders to customers. 

Stephen closed his laptop and began heading out for his job. He had already changed into his clothes and done all the hygienic routines to get started. Stephen grabbed his keys and walked out his room, locking the door behind him. He took an elevator to the first floor then made his way out the building. It was freezing outside. It felt as it was about in the low twenties. He had forgotten how cold it was starting to get outside. It was slowly nearing fall which meant the temperature was dropping. The most cover he had on was his work shirt, nothing else. Luckily the Mcdonalds was nearby and not too far of a walk from the hotel.

After a couple minutes he had finally arrived. The Mcdonalds he had chose was a 24 hour one, so customers where already eating, ordering, and some where just walking in. The employee who was standing behind the cashier spotted him. Stephen walked to the back of the ordering table to the employee staring at him, "Are you Stephen?" he asked.

Stephen nodded.

The employee took his hat off in great relief, "Thank  _god_! I've been here for so long, thanks for showing up I didn't expect it." He said, leaving the restaurant. Stephen was shocked, he was already starting right then and there. Maybe it was the fact that he was an adult that the manager didn't give him any other sort of practice, but who knew. It was easy at first, customers came and went. Stephen was relieved that nothing was going on and he was getting through the day without any troubles. That was until two familiar people walked into the restaurant. Tony and Peter. 

Tony walked in line behind a couple of people and to pass the time began talking to his son. Stephen tried to not focus on them. It wasn't really anything about Tony it was more about Peter. What would he think about him after the fire? He would hate to see a kid traumatized for his doing, but he had to focus. He had to focus on his job and not acting out and not getting fired. Every time they got closer and closer to the front of the line he got more and more nervous, and what felt like seconds later, they where finally ordering. 

Tony had noticed Stephen working in the back and greeted him with a smile. Stephen, very anxiously, nodded a smile back at him. Tony went behind the pick up counter to wait for his food. He had ordered a plain black coffee and a kids meal so the order was rather quick to prepare. Stephen placed the happy meal on the tray held it with one hand and held his coffee in another. When he turned around Tony had happened to be holding Peter in one of his arms. Stephen stopped abruptly. He was face to face with Peter and could think of almost nothing other than that day.  _That Day._  

Stephens hands and body started to tremble, his hands securely locking onto to the coffee  _tightly._ Stephen knew it would come, he knew it would happen. As soon as those two walked into those double doors.  _A panic attack_. Right now, right here, at his first and most likely only day of work. He heart was pounding; it felt as it was going to jump right out of his rib cage.  _Slowly_ Stephen walked up to the counter, tiny baby steps but still trying to go as fast as possible as he already had about 3 people waiting for their orders. 

Tony eyed him and raised up a hand, "Take your time." he softly ensured. Stephen shook his head and raced up to the front. "Here you go!" He ashamedly smiled. Stephen was merely inches away from setting the coffee cup onto the table when his hands seized up causing the coffee to spread  _everywhere_. 

Tony gasped and backed away from the explosion in protection of his kid. Stephen cursed and held his hand tightly to his chest. The restaurant was quiet in utter shock for only about a mere second until the manager came out _enraged._ "What the hell is going on out here?!" He hollered.

"It was just an accident noth-"

"Stephen! Did you do this? Did you-" The manager took a gander around to see the issue, then saw the coffee splatter against the register, the counter, and the floors. "Did you nearly spill coffee on this customer? You can't just carry coffee two feet from the coffee machine and the counter??" 

"Wait a minute sir he-"

"I don't want to hear it!!" The manager said, cutting off the cashier in a yell. 

"Sir in my interview I said my hands where somewhat physically impaired..." Stephen spoke softly. 

"Yes but I hired you because I knew they where not too physically impaired to hold a damn cup! What happened to being able to draw for a whole year? You can do that but not carry a cup that small of a distance? How have you been drinking all those years huh? Straight from the sink?!" The manager sighed and faced his focus to Tony.

"I guess so. I'm sorry for the carelessness sir."

"You won't have to be sorry. You're fired."

"What?!" Tony and Peter yelled simultaneously. "You can't just do that! You can't fire him. It was an accident. Please give him another chance sir he's gone through a lot." Peter finished. 

The manager laughed, "Okay kid. You just don't know how running a business works. It's a lot of adult thin-"

"He's right. I'm asking you to please give him another chance. If you knew what he went through I think you would understand, and like said before he told you he was somewhat physically impaired. If you knew that then that's on you for hiring him and this incident was all on you." Tony backed up. 

Tony's words pissed the manager off even more. Making him more and more set on firing Stephen for his doings. "You're fired, Stephen. Get out of my restaurant." He stated sternly. 

Stephen softly nodded and slowly took his hat off and placed his behind his back. "I understand." He spoke, then quietly walked off and out of the restaurant.

Tony grabbed the kids meal and placed Peter on the ground and they collectively began to run after him. Luckily he didn't get too far and he was able to get in touch with him as they walked out the restaurant. "Wait Stephen do you have a place to go after this?" Tony mumbled.

Stephen didn't answer.

Tony walked in front of him "Please answer, I can help you. I know what happened in there and it wasn't fair, but just hear me out. Stephen, I can buy you an apartment, you won't even have to worry about paying for the rent until you find a job—"

"No thank you." Stephen cut off. "I have lived my life like I should and I need to stop trying to make it better, Tony. But thank you for the offer." He smiled.

"Then what are you going to do? You don't have a place to stay or a job. What are you going to do then? Stand out here in the streets and just starve? Stephen I can—"

"Yes." Stephen turned to face Tony with the most emotionless face he could give anyone. "I'm tired, Tony. Just let me go." He turned to then continue on walking away. 

"Stephen wait..." Tony called. He took out a small piece of paper and pen from his pocket and wrote something down. Quickly he handed it to Stephen and spoke, "I can help you. I know what you are going through and if you ever change your mind, call me. I wont hesitate to come pick you up." 

Stephen took the slip like piece of paper, nodded, then walked off.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide Trigger Warning Ahead

It was about an hour after the incident at the McDonalds. Tony was nothing but a worried wreck. He knew what depression was and how it felt to go through it. Heck he could still be going through bits of it, but not as badly as it was before he had adopted Peter. A lot of what Stephen said kind of scared him, but he knew all he could do was give him his number and nothing else. The "I'm tired" phrase was something he always thought about. Those two words coming from someone that has the symptoms of depression can be scary, he knows and his friends know. It just added another layer of stress and worry to himself.

Peter was pretty quiet too. Eating his food and drawing at the same time, just like any other kid. After a while though he slowly began to stop and sunk his head into his arms. Out of worry Tony asked what was wrong. Peter sighed, "I'm worried about Dr. Strange."

"Don't be Peter. He's going to be okay."

"From what you said and he said I don't think so, but okay." Peter shrugged, going back to drawing. Sometimes Tony forgot how open minded of a kid Peter was. It also made him forget about all the things Peter did hear when they were talking. About how Stephen was going to starve and be homeless and he was okay with that. Tony grew more and more stress and it became harder to hide it from his son. To see someone like him and how normally and kind he treated him go downhill like that was hard to erase from his mind. "Maybe after he goes to sleep he'll call you."

Tony turned his focus to his , "Huh?"

"Well he said he was tired didn't he? Maybe he needs a nap, then he'll call you. I know sometimes when  _I'm_ sad I need a small nap to make me feel better." Peter responded. 

"Maybe," Tony smiled back at him. "So what are you drawing?" 

He held up his drawing and smiled, "Me, you, and Dragon! One big family!"

"Aw Peter, that's so cute!" Tony smiled back. "So I guess Dragon is now an official family member?"

"He was ever since we got him at the pet store! I still have the paper for him that shows about him. I forgot what it was called but you know what I mean. Oh and by the way have you noticed that i don't carry around that turtle anymore? Like the stuffed animal one. I don't because I think Dragon gets jealous."

Tony chuckled, "Your turtle gets jealous? How can you tell?" 

"I see it in his face. His little itty bitty turtle face. Turtles can't talk but I know in his head he secretly thinks "oh no my human likes another turtle!" And I don't want him thinking that you know? I want him to know he is the best turtle their is! That's why his name is Dragon!" Peter gleaned. 

"Aw that's cute Peter. Why isn't he down here though? You always have him here when you're drawing him, or drawing anything really." Tony questioned.

"Oh he's sleep. I don't want to bother him you know?" Peter explained, not looking up from his drawing.

Tony nodded silently. After that the room was filled with a brief silence. It was relaxing to just watch and listen to his son ramble about drawing. Sometimes he would sit and listen or watch him draw. It was very relaxing, especially on days where Tony's stress levels where at his highest, and today was one of those days. He was still overly stressed about Stephen, even after calming down. Then when his phone began buzzing his heart stopped.

Both him and Peter stopped everything and looked at his phone. "Hey maybe it's Dr. Strange!" Peter smiled. Without responding Tony grabbed his phone and immediately answered, "Hello?" 

"Hello? Is this Tony? Tony stark?" a frantic women voice was asking.

Tony's first response was this was to be angered. He gave Stephen his number trusting he wouldn't give it to anyone else. Now he's going to be getting calls from who knows what. Tony was furious that somebody other than Stephen was calling him. "Who is this? You have the wrong number."

"No no please don't hang up! Please is this Tony? Do you know Stephen? Stephen Vincent Strange? This is Christine Palmer calling. I'm his closest friend, please is this Tony?"

"I'm sorry miss this isn't it. You have the wrong number, good-"

"No no no please do not hang up! I know this isn't the wrong number! I know this is Tony please you have to help! Please please my friend, Stephen, you know him. Stephen's house of arts. He talked to me about you and how you showed up at his daycare to drop off your son, Peter. Stephen didn't hand out your number, he l-left it with this note... Oh my god you just please help! I don't know where he is and he left this number on the paper. O-on my doorstep, under my doormat so no one would see it. I don't know where he is and I've been looking and looking and looking and I can not find him you have to help-"

"Hey hey lady you have to calm down first, I can't reply when you're this frantic. Remember you still have the wrong number. I am not Tony Stark and I don't a damn near clue who Stephen is. I'm sorry but you have the wrong number. Bye." Tony ended, hanging up the phone. 

Tony crossed his arms and furrowed his eyebrows in rage. He was beyond irritated that the one time he had decided to give his number to someone he trusted, he went and gave out to other people. "Who was _that_?" Peter asked.

"I don't know, but what I  _do_ know is that Stephen gave my number out to people." 

Peter looked up at him confused, "Huh? I don't think he would do that? Dr. Strange is a really trusting person."

"I get so many phone calls that are like that to get me to come to them it's so annoying, and someone having the nerve to call me and threaten me with Stephen is just so sick. I can not believe he did that... I trusted him..." Tony sighed. 

"Don't be sad daddy..." Peter comforted. 

Tony nodded his head in disbelief, but he knew he couldn't keep this up for long. He eventually would have to move on and just get through the day. Having a kid and being deeply angered and upset by something is hard to do. So, with a smile, Tony looked up at Peter and sparked, "Wanna go to the park?" 

Peter smiled and nodded, "Yea!! Can I bring Dragon?" 

"Yea why not Pete." Tony smiled, getting up from the couch. 

Peter cheered in excitement and made a run for it up the stairs. In mere minutes he was already downstairs caring Dragon in both hands. Peter ran up to Tony and rushed Dragon into his hands. "Can you hold him really fast I have to put my shoes on."

"Oh okay!" Tony responded in a rush. "Make sure you put your jacket on it's starting to get cold outside." 

"Yea I know!" Peter said, rushing to get his jacket on. "Okay let's go!" Peter smiled. Tony laughed as he handed Dragon back to Peter. He sometimes forgets how hyperactive Peter was and how quick he could do things. After walking out they all got settled into the car and they were off.

The car ride was quiet, well mainly. Peter sat in the back talking to his pet turtle, but conversation between Tony and him was quiet. The park was a little far from the house, but it was a good one. It was a nice playground area had everything like a trail and a river to feed ducks on. Tony always took Peter their when he felt the house get too stressful and depressed. Tony never wants his son to suffer from him being stressed and upset all the time, sometimes it gets to him; like the day he made Peter cry because of how  _lonely_ he was. That he couldn't forget, out of all the times he had made his son sad he's never made him cry. That very moment stuck with him ever since. 

Tony shook his head trying to rid of that thought and focus on having fun with his son at the park. They where getting closer and closer, but the closer they got the worst the traffic got. It got worse where he reached the bridge and he stopped his car and hadn't moved since he had stopped it. It was out of no where too. No construction. No accident. No police men, well there was one; a car. It wasn't pulling over another car or anything, so what's the traffic for? "He Pete roll down the window and see what's going on." Tony asked.

Peter sat his turtle someplace safe and rolled the window down. He stuck his head out and immediately his heart raced. "Dr. Strange!!" He yelled. 

_**"What?!"** _

"It's Dr. Strange; daddy he's up against the bridge rim and a police officer is talking to him! Hi Dr. Strange!!! It's me Peter!!!" Peter screamed. Then Tony began to think. That call...  _That call..._

_It was not fake._

_It was not a fan begging him to come to see them._

_It was not Stephen being unfaithful._

_It was a **real call.**_

Tony's heart was on  _presto._ He was sweating and reaching for his phone in shock. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave the car because he came without a disguise. He had to just watch in dismay. "P-Peter put your head inside the car." Tony instructed in a monotone voice. Without a response Peter slowly put his had back into the car and watched the window roll back up. Tony took his phone and dialed his most recent call.

The pick up was nearly instant.

"Hello? Tony?!" The women answered in utter shock.

"Y-yea that;s me. Tony Stark. I'm here, Stephen. I see him. Who is this?"

"Oh! Oh I'm Stephen's best friend Christine. Where is he? I have been looking for hours is he okay? What is he doing? Is he next to you? Oh my god oh my god-"

"He's on the... He's on the rail. He's in front of the rail, of a bridge. I don't know. I don't know what, what to do. I-I'm really in shock I-" Tony stopped.

"WHAT? He's where? Tony speak up please! I am just as worried as you are, maybe even more!"

Tony didn't speak a word.

"Hello?"

_Silence..._

**_"HELLO?"_** Christine heard the phone drop.

Tony drop his phone, threw his car door open, and ran the fastest he has ever ran ever since he was a kid. His arms opening the closer he got the victim. Once he was only mere inches away he j _umped._ Wrapping his arms firmly around Stephen's waist and bringing him back down onto the road, injuring a few parts in the process. Stephen scurried out of Tony's arms in pure anger. "Why the fuck did you do that?!" Stephen yelled, pushing him away. 

Tony didn't deliver a response. At the time he was too focused on getting up from falling down so hard. "Hello?! I asked a god damn question! Why did you do that? My decisions on me ending my life was _**my**_  business and you had _no right_ to keep me from doing it!!" he screamed once more. 

"Sir are you alright?" a police officer questioned, helping him up. 

"Yes. I'm okay. Thank you." Tony said brushing himself off. Stephen started to run back to the bridge rail, but was stopped. Tony had his hand  _squeezing_ the man's wrist. "Don't do it, Stephen. Don't." Tony paused to take a look at his car, Peter was peaking out from the window but the drivers door was closed, and that's all that mattered. "Now I just want you to let me get my word out, please. Let me talk." Tony softly insured, letting go of his wrist.

"There are people out there that care about you. No interruptions please. Peter admires you, Christine is worried sick about you. The kids you taught all look up to you. I, Tony Stark, care about you. That may only be a few people to you, but a few is more than none. Put that into perspective. No you didn't kill those kids, that man did. I want you to get the thought that you killed those kids out. It maybe hard, I would know, but just try. Life is going to keep tricking you, don't let it win. Show life that no matter how many times it brings you down _i_ _t's not going to work_. I can help you, Stephen. If you need a place to stay until you find a job and can move out, I'm here. I can't let someone who has treated me so differently and kind take this route." 

Stephen was put into shock. No words could be spoken. The only response he gave was silent crying and a nod. "You're alright, Stephen." Tony comforted him, gently grabbing his arm and guiding him to his car. Stephen was hesitant, extremely hesitant actually, on taking this offer. But he did take it as it was the only other path he could take in his life at that moment. Before Stephen got into the car Tony opened the driver door and gave out a "be quiet" signal to Peter. Stephen got into the passenger seat quietly and buckled up. "Peter we're going home. To make it up I'll order from McDonalds." Tony smiled, looking back at him through the mirror. 

"It's okay." He smiled back.

"Get some sleep Stephen. It's going to be a while back." Tony lightly murmured, getting ready to drive back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I would like to talk about the passing of Stan Lee. He has brought joyous smiles to children and adults world wide. Without his amazing comics and creations I don't know where I would be today. He will be in my heart forever and he will be greatly missed. We love you Stan lee. We Stan <3.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will be gone the 18th - the 24th of november so chapter 13 won't be posted before those dates :)

It was silent. Now you are more than likely used to that phrase, but this time it was like a different type of silence. It was depressingly quiet. Nobody talked and made no noise, the only noise given was the scratching of Peter's pencil against his paper. Stephen sat on the couch with his hands interlocked and holding up his forehead. His eyes closed shut and occasional sniffles would come out. Tony didn't want to even try to cheer him up. He knew somewhat of what he was going through. Although he has never been to the point where he was mere seconds away from taking his own life, but he knows depression when he sees it. Tony decided it was best to try and keep the house quiet and give Stephen some time to himself.

Peter on the other hand had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that now his art teacher was at his house. Tony didn't have a conversation with him since they got home. Only small commands and suggestions. Peter trusted his dad and knew if he was quiet and told him to keep his noise levels low he understood and followed his directions. Besides he didn't want to upset Stephen. Peter didn't know what was wrong with him, but he did know he was sad.

To Stephen, how he felt was horrid. He felt like crying, not crying, lashing out, yelling at Tony for stopping him, wanting to run back where he was, all at the same times. But he couldn't. It wasn't a good time, there will never be a good time. Stephen tried to calm himself down by thinking about positives. Tony stopped him because he cared. Christine was worried about him. Carl and Lucy... Carl and Lucy. "That's not positive, Strange." Stephen quietly spoke. He made sure to make it quiet enough that no one would hear, and he did. It shows no matter how positive he was trying to be something negative would pop up. "Here you go." A small voice perked making Stephen snap back into reality.

"So I know you are kinda sad so I made you this drawing. It's you as a superhero. Actually a super super hero, because you saved us all from that fire. Also it's to replace that other drawing I drew. This one is way better though." Peter smiled slightly.

Stephen felt a little wince of pain when he heard the kid utter "because you saved us all from that fire", but he didn't show it. He picked it up and examined it. It was the same superhero outfit and powers, what was different was the message and some added details. It was the whole class standing in front of him cheering things like, "Yay!" and "Thank you for saving us!". On the side Peter had wrote a small message, "Dr. Strange you are a real life superhero! You stopped the fire from hurting us like a real superhero! Also you protected us from that guy that made the fire. You are my hero! The classes hero!!"

Stephen was in shock. Paralyzed with happiness I guess you could say. For a while he had lay quiet and trying to hold in tears. He smiled big at Peter, "Thank you, Peter."  
Peter smiled and nodded his head, than ran back to the dinning table and started drawing again.

Stephen slowly sat the drawing down and tried to hold in his tears. A knot of tears was forming in his throat and his hand tremors were getting noticeable. _I don't deserve this_. Stephen thought. Tears began spilling but he had his head hanging low to avoid anybody noticing. His throat felt tight. Seeing this hurt him dearly. He wasn't a hero. A hero wouldn't forget about two kids being left inside a burning building. Stephen whipped his tears dry and sat back up and sat up on the couch. He had to quickly hide his obvious attack before anyone noticed. It was hard, but it had to be done. Stephen wish this hadn't happened, but, he just thought to be doomed unlucky. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

It was the next morning. Stephen had slept in a guest bed that was close to Tony and Peter's room for Tony's sake. Tony didn't sleep a wink. It wasn't abnormal for him to get restless nights, but this one in particular wasn't caused by just insomnia. It was caused by the constant state of worry Tony was in when leaving Stephen out his sight. There where many times where he would get up out of the bed and hide and knives, forks, ropes, anything that could cause fatal harm. Even if all the sharpest of objest where tucked away where no one could find them he would still worry. So he found himself up all night downstairs just in case Stephen would try anything, and if he caught him self falling asleep he would make a strong coffee to keep him up.

It was around 10:00 and Stephen had just started to walk down the steps to begin his morning. He was still mute. All he did was walk down and sit at the couch. Tony looked at him worriedly. "Good Morning." He greeted. Tony thought it would be better to greet him then to ask what was wrong first thing in the morning. Stephen didn't give an answer, It was expected. "Peter is at school today, do you want to maybe go outside? I don't know like get out the house?"

"You make it sound like I've been in here for weeks. No I don't want to go outside." Stephen responded shortly.

Tony shook his head and puffed out a large sigh, "I'm just trying to lift your mood, but that's fine. At least you're speaking up now." Tony made his way to Stephen who sat on the couch of the living room and sat a coffee for him on the coffee table. "Well it was going to be for me but I had enough coffee so you can have it. It's not too bitter but not too sweet."

"No thank you. I don't... Need it." Stephen delayed. He laid back into the couch massaging his temples. He had a migraine since last night and couldn't get the rest he wanted. It was a sharp pain near the top of his head. It felt as if someone was stabbing that part of his head as well as his eyes, it was painful, but not as painful as it should be. To him it felt like a normal headache with the migraine like side affects. Nausea, pain in his neck, and dizziness. Stephen didn't want to show the symptoms though, maybe sitting through this pain was the closest he could possible get to his death. "You alright?" Tony mumbled gently, leaning in a bit closer towards him.

"Yea." Stephen uttered, backing away.

Tony crossed his fingers in front of him and took a deep sigh. Stephen. What was he going to do. He wasn't being honest. He wasn't opening up. For all he knows he may start to refuse eating, and Tony can't do a thing about it. Well, all he can do is talk to him and give him advice, but even that does nothing. The most he would get from that is a sigh, an angry expression, no response, or a very short or little response. Tony was going to try again anyway, giving up is not and never going to be an option. Tony lifted his head up and locked eyes with Stephen. He opened his mouth but no words could exit, so he closed it again.

Stephen on the other hand was suffering in silence. Emotionally and physically. The migraine was starting to become harder to ignore. All of side affects of the migraine where becoming worse and worse and it was becoming more insufferable to hide away from Tony. Very slowly he lifted his heavy body up from the side of the couch and took a few deep breaths. The room was spinning and it felt like he was about to either feint or get sick. "U-um. W-were's the bathroom.

"Um the closest one is back there in that hallway and you just take a right. You alright? Everything okay?" Tony anxiously flooded with question. 

"I'm  **fine**." Stephen replied sternly. He got up and almost forcefully pushed Tony out the way and made a run for it to the bathroom and slamming the door shut. This made Tony unbearably concerned. He didn't know what was wrong with him but he was shaky about what he would do any where. Tony knew he would be overly annoyed if someone had done the same for him, but he couldn't help it. He made his way to the bathroom door and put his ear up to the door. "You okay in there, Stephen?"

"Yes I'm okay can you go and leave me alone?!" Stephen yelled sickly.

Tony's heart sank down into his chest. Every time Stephen would get such a short response as such he would feel worse and worse. Stephen was obviously not happy, he was suffering from depression and possibly PTSD from the accident. To hear someone so depressed that used to be the happiest guy he knew was upsetting on it's own. This was a reason why Tony tried to cheer him up. It unbelievable on how quickly an event could change someone. Sometimes they could never go back to the person they once where. Tony picked at the skin of his arm and sighed quietly. "Alright." Tony paused, "Alright yea. I'll leave you alone. Sorry." he finished then slowly began to walk away. 

Tony didn't give up. He didn't want to give up, but the option was becoming difficult. Maybe he should just stop and let Stephen gradually start to recover? He would suggest a therapist and he wouldn't mind paying for his sessions. That idea was out the water though. Tony knew if he even hinted towards that he would get a short and annoyed response. Maybe he needed time to himself and just wait a few weeks and maybe months to interact with him. It would be tough but it may be the route he has to take. The only converse he can do is tell him there is food that was made so he can eat. 

Tony's heart sank and he began to shake furiously. He didn't walk too far from the door because overthinking took over and heard the sound of pills from a bottle surface from the bathroom. Tony knew it was an invasion of personal space, he knew what he was about to do was wrong, but he did it anyway. Tony took a few steps and grabbed the bathroom door handle and swung it open. It was an awkward silence between the two. Stephen was holding a migraine medicine bottle with two pills in his hands. Both men locked eyes with each other but both expressing different emotions. One pissed and one worried. "Um do you need something?" 

Tony's mind went completely blank. If he would have said any type of response it would just be a long stutter. He can't tell him why he really burst into the bathroom, he would get even more upset. "Oh! I see. You thought I was overdosing? No. I took medicine for a migraine."

Tony was going to back himself up, but before he could even open his mouth Stephen intervened. "Don't tell me that wasn't the reason, Tony. I'm smarter than you think. I would probably think the same if I were you."  Stephen swallowed both pills dry and made his way back to the living room.

Tony was paralyzed with shock. What is there to do. Will he ever open up. Will he ever move up from that same spot on the couch. Yes it may have only been a day since he's been here, but it doesn't feel that way. Tony also recognized that Stephen didn't say a word about his migraine, he had just suffered in silence. Stephen used to be open and always cheerful because he was doing what he loved, now he is closed up and barely shows any emotion besides anger. It is a truly heartbreaking experience, but what can possibly be done to help it? 

That's what Tony wish he had the answer to.

The answer to what could make Stephen even the slightest bit happier. 

As for now the answer remains undetermined, unfortunately. 


	14. Chapter 14

Tony decided to keep all contact with Stephen to a bare minimum. Especially after what just happened a few minutes ago. It was embarrassing and he was highly ashamed of it. He understood if Stephen wanted to keep even more quiet after that. Tony only kept conversations limited to if he wanted something to drink or if he was hungry, other than that they never spoke. This made the atmosphere in the room thicker than usual. It was an uncomfortable and odd feeling. Sort of like, a feeling of gloominess. That was until the sound of a school bus passed up the house.

Quickly he looked at the time; 3:32. Then before Tony knew it his son burst into the door nearly falling over because of how quickly he rushed in. "Hi daddy!!" Peter shouted, completely out of breath.

"Hey Peter! Before you come on running on in here why don't you go back and close the door so nothing gets in?" Tony smiled.

"Oh yea... Sorry about... That..." Peter huffed, running back to shut the door and lock it.

"Why are you so excited to come home anyways? You're never usually this active when you get home." Tony asked.

Peter dropped his bookbag next to the door and kicked off his shoes. He threw over himself and clasped his hands onto his knees catching his breath. "Um..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I made you guys something!" Peter dropped on the floor and reached for his bookbag and ripping threw it. "And I was so excited to give it to you guys that I _ran_ off the bus to get here." Peter pulled out a decent-sized paper-maché award. On the bottom it read, "To the world's greatest Dad!" and a drawing of Tony on the back.

Peter slowly walked up to his father and climbed up on one of the seats up on the island in the kitchen. "I made this for my art project. See I drew you on the back." Peter smiled, handing over his gift. 

Tony, already filling up with tears, picked up the award and held it in both palms of his hands. He cracked the biggest smile holding the gift from his son in his hands. Peter was always bringing stuff home to him, but this time to got him harder than any other gift he's given him. It could be due to the recent change of mood he had, but who knew. 

"Thank you so much, Peter." Tony smiled ear-to-ear, setting a hand on Peter's cheek. 

Peter gleaned softly with his heart beating in joy, "You see why I was so excited to show you? But..." Peter's voice got quieter and he leaned in a bit closer to his dad. "So I have a gift for Dr.Strange, it's like an award, but like a necklace. I think he will really like it." he whispered.

Tony looked at Peter worriedly and began fiddling with the skin in between his fingers. "Oh... Well Peter..." Tony called, but it was already too late. Peter was already fiddling through his bookbag for Stephens gift. Tony felt worried for both Peter and Stephen. He knew Stephen wasn't in the best mood, especially after what happened. He would hate seeing Peter being rejected from a gift but he couldn't tell him not to give it to him without it being fairly obvious, so he sat there and watched. 

Peter, with his gift safely placed behind his back, nudged Stephen on his arm and called his name. "Dr.Strange? I made a gift for you, I think you will really like it." 

Stephen stayed in place. Forehead placed on his fists with his eyes closed shut. Peter didn't give up. He nudged his arm once again and called his name. "Dr.Strange, I know you're sad, but please, I pinky promise that this gift will make you feel better. Please please please?" Peter pleaded. 

"Peter maybe now isn't the time. Just give him some space and maybe he will want to see it later-"

"Alright Peter, I'm open to what you want to give me." Stephen spoke. 

Peter jumped with joy hearing Stephen respond to him as he did not expect to get one. "O-okay!! Really? Okay! Okay! Can you just close your eyes?" 

Stephen cracked a tiny smile then nodded, closing his eyes. "Alright, they're closed." 

Peter took his gift and set it over Stephens head and onto his neck. "Okay you can open them... Now!" 

Slowly Stephen opened his eyes and looked down at the necklace hanging from his neck. It was crafted to look like an amulet and it had two messages on both of the sides. He picked up the amulet and held it closer to him to examine it better. On one side it said "The Greatest Teacher" and flipped over the other side read "To: Dr. Strange". Peter smiled brightly and his heart was racing with excitement, "So do you like it?"  

"Um..." Stephen mumbled, his voice coming out to be a bit trembled. 

Peter's racing of a heart turned quickly from excitement to worry. Worry that Stephen wouldn't like the gift he was given. He sat up on the couch next to him and bent over with him. At this point both of them where examining the necklace. "It's okay if you don't. I mean it isn't that great anyways, i saw a lot of kids make things much better than me. I did try my best but maybe it wasn't the best I guess. I mean, do you like it? You don't have to tell me but I mean it would be cool to know so maybe I could take it back and make a better one? I mean like I said you don't have to tell me it's okay-"

"No Peter it's okay. I really do like it thank you so much!" Stephen interrupted cracking the biggest smile possible. 

"W-wow really?! You really like it? That much? I mean I knew you would but not that much I don't know! Wow!! Okay! Well um! I'm gonna go upstairs and draw with Dragon. I may come down here but I don't know it depends on what I draw. I am so glad you liked it!! Okay I'll be back!" Peter jumped with joy off the couch the up towards the stairs and to his room.

As soon as the little boy left Stephens expression changed. It was back to his cold look, but this time he didn't have a blank stare. He was crying. Sadness. The first real emotion he's shown ever since he came to the house. Tony wasn't shocked by it either. When Stephen expressed how much he loved what Peter made him he knew almost instantly that he was forging that smile. It was easy to spot because Tony too was a victim of always faking a smile, especially in public and sometimes in front of his own son. "Stephen."

"I don't deserve this." 

"Stephen."

"I don't."

"Well if you don't deserve it so badly then why did you get it?" Tony spoke statically. 

Stephen didn't respond.

"He gave that to you because he meant it, Stephen. Peter is a little kid. Would a little kid give that to you if they didn't mean it? He put his heart into that Stephen. Just for you and to make you happy-"

"Yea it's from a kid who knows absolutely nothing about the incident. All Peter knows is that  _he_ got out that fire safely and a few of his other classmates." Stephen got up from the couch and slowly began inching towards Tony."He doesn't know I let in an unidentified man into my studio without checking for his ID or asking more questions. Peter doesn't know I let two kids use the bathroom and I completely forgot they where in there and let them  _ **die.**_ What he knows is that I taught him and rescued him from a fire. I am not a hero, I am not a good teacher, I am not good at anything, Tony. _I **don't** deserve this_."

At this moment, the two where inches apart. It was the closest there ever where before the fire. From this perspective Tony could see all the hurt hidden in Stephens eyes and his expression. "Then what are you gonna do, Stephen. Throw it away?" Tony sighed, "He's a kid, Stephen. Even if he knew all of that he would have said something like, "Everyone makes mistakes." or "You saved as much people as you could." He doesn't find bad in a person that quickly. It takes a while. I know this because he is my son. And Stephen." Tony looked up into Stephens broken eyes. "I know what you're going through, and just let me explain." 

Tony walked over to a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out a picture frame. It was a woman holding what he assumed was Peter as a baby and Tony on the right of her. "This women here was my wife. Pepper Stark. The baby is Peter. Pepper was the light of my life. She was almost perfect, and when we had Peter we were the happiest we could be. Of course I was still very famous at that time, but I kept it so that Pepper and Peter where completely private. Nobody knew I had a wife and a child. I never went outside with them and if I did I was heavily dressed so I didn't look like who I really was. There were obviously rumors going around because of her last name, but they didn't really surface well." Tony sat on one of the seats on the island and sulked. "But."

Tony already began to cry before getting to the downfall. "One day we had a really bad argument about not spending time with her and Peter. Like, not going outside with them and always working. It was highly understandable but... She uh-m. She. After the argument she said she needed to get away for a while, so she took the car and left. And..."

"And she..." 

 

Tony took a deep breath. His voice trembling and tears running down his eyes frantically.

 

_"She..."_

 

_"...never came back home-"_

"Alright Tony you don't have to continue. I get the message and I get what you are trying to convey. This is obviously a severely sensitive topic and I'm not going to force you to have to keep talking about it. I get it." Stephen interrupted him. He took the frame from Tony's hands slowly and put it back in the drawer from where he got it from. "Thank you for that, Stephen. I appreciate it." Tony wiped away his tears and recollected himself. "In a short summary, Strange. You deserve that. I know what it feels like to go through what you did, and we're here for you Stephen, Okay?" Tony smiled, genuinely.

Stephen closed his eyes softly and nodded, "Okay." 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Stephen decided it was time for a change. Not much of a big one, but he realized all the times he stayed at Tony's house he's been attached to the couch. Only moving to use the bathroom and nothing else. Tony would have to somewhat force Stephen to eat or drink anything. Stephen would take small sips and eat tiny pieces of bread a day, and it was getting draining. He got more headaches, his depression worsened, his overall physical and emotional state was degrading.

Stephen turned and faced Tony, who was working on some new mechanical object at the dining room table. "Tony." he called.

Tony looked up shocked, Stephen hadn't talked unless it was something he was upset about, a response, or 'yes' or 'no'. He had never said something without someone provoking it. "Yes?" Tony responded.

Stephen looked back down and scratched his head and took a deep breath, in and out, "Um, do you have any... uh... tea?" Stephen asked, slightly nervous.

"Um, you know what? I don't know." Tony replied, removing his gloves and setting everything down that he was working on. He made a few steps near the kitchen and started checking all of the cabinets and luckily found on pack of unopened peppermint tea. He grabbed it and checked the expiration date, luckily the bags could still be used. "What about peppermint? It's all I have, you know I'm not that big fan of tea." Tony smiled.

"Yea that's okay." Stephen nodded, slowly getting up from the couch.

"Oh that's- you don't have to get up Stephen, I can get it for you-"

"I got it." Stephen denied, inside the kitchen.

Stephen gently took the peppermint from Tony's palms and began tearing the plastic that covered up the small box. "Oh you might need this too," Tony said as he reached into the bottom cabinet and grabbed a small pot, perfect for heating up the right amount of water for tea. Stephen took the pot and placed it on one the four burners on the stove. "Thank you," he smiled.

Tony's eyes lit up and he couldn't just help to smile back. Seeing that, genuine or not, was uplifting. He hadn't seen him smile ever since the whole incident of his art studio burning down. It may have been forced, but what mattered to Tony was that Stephen was trying to get better, it was evident. "You're doing better, Stephen." Tony complimented, patting Stephen gently on the back.  
Stephen nodded and proceeded to making himself tea. He took the pot and filled it up halfway with cold water. Then he turned and turned the gas on, then the **fire**. Out of intense shock and drawback Stephen gasped and went to quickly turn the fire back off. He began to shake and his heart was racing. Just seeing the flame reach out from the burner took him back. It was an intense memory, making him tremble, sweat, breath _heavily._ "Stephen? You alright what happened?" Tony turned back to the kitchen and up to him. Water was splashing from the pot as Stephens hands were shaking tremendously. "Let me take this. You're okay, Stephen." Tony comforted, slowly taking the pot from Stephen and placing it safely down on the counter. 

"Stephen?! I don't understand. What happened?" Tony worried.

Tony could see fear in his eyes, and the emotion was intense. _Very intense_. Stephen lifted his hand up and pretend to rub it in pain. "I um, I just burnt myself s-sorry." Stephen answered firmly.

"How did you burn yourself on the top of your hand?" Tony questioned, reaching out to him. 

Stephen took his hand further from Tony to avoid being caught in a lie, "I don't know. It just happened. I'm just going to go... s-sit... I'm just going to go sit down." Stephen struggled. Taking deeper and deeper breaths, shaking and shaking more. He attempted to leave out the kitchen and make his way to the living room but Tony didn't allow it. "You're not a good liar, Stephen. Or maybe you are a good one and I'm just good at detecting said liars." Tony paused, taking a deep breath.

"I want you to take a deep breath with me. In and out, Stephen. Seems like you are just panicking a bit, and it's okay, just relax. Now in through your nose." Tony took a deep breath.

Stephen followed.

"Now hold, for 4 seconds. Count with me. _1_ "

_"2"_

_"3"_

_"4"_

"Now breath out, slowly through your mouth." 

Stephen and Tony released the air simultaneously.

”Alright. Again. You with me Stephen?”

”Mhm.”

“Alright deep breath in through your nose.”

Stephen and Tony continued to take a deep breath, slowly filling up the lungs.

”Now hold, count for 4 seconds. Now count with me, 1”

”...2”

”3”

”4”

”That’s good now breath out through your mouth, slowly.” 

Tony and Stephen slowly let go of the air inside. Stephen was less shaky. The breathing technique seemed to work and calmed him down a bit. He was breathing more regularly and he was more calm. 

Tony looked over at the oven, thought for a bit, then back at Stephen. “I think you need therapy, Stephen. Genuinely and for your healthy well being. Seems like you look to have a bad case of um... PTSD. You think so?”

Stephen had a blank stare. That never crossed his mind. PTSD? It makes a lot of sense. “Never mind you don’t have to answer that. I am obviously no medical genius but I think you may have it. Evidence concludes from what just happened now.” 

“And I know what you’re thinking. I’m a billionaire Stephen, for you I would be more than happy to spend money just to help out with your potential mental illness. I really don’t like seeing you sit on the couch all day. You look lifeless, Stephen, and I would like to help.” Tony offered.

Stephen opened his mouth but no words came out. He had to think a while before giving out a response. “I don’t know, Tony. I don’t think I’m comfortable with it.” 

“It would help-“

“I’m sorry but no thank you.” Stephen firmly denied, walking past Tony and back to his spot on the couch. 

Tony knew Stephen was deeply hurt, and it was like the hurt followed over to him. Only because seeing Stephen that way for some reason broke his heart even if he only knew the guy for a few weeks. 

Tony gradually made his way over to Stephen and gently rubbed a hand on his back. “You did good today. I can tell you were trying to be productive. That’s really incredible you know? I’m proud.” Tony smiled.

”Welp, um, if you need me I’ll be downstairs in my so called ‘lab’. What I was working on just a few minutes ago needs to be taken downstairs anyway. Try to maybe get some rest. Once again, I’m proud.” Tony then proceeded by walking over to the dining room table, sliding on his gloves, and taking his work back downstairs.


	16. Chapter 16

 It was silent again. It had been 3 hours since Stephen had sat down in his couch in the same position. Bent over with his elbows on his knees and hands formed into a fist on his forehead. Thinking. Tony didn’t know exactly what he was thinking about, but he assumed his mind was overrun by insecure thoughts.

Tony has only been upstairs for an hour, he mad sure to take a break once and a while and check up on Stephen, even if he wouldn’t move from his spot every time he saw him. It hurt him to see him in such a lifeless way, it was like he was emotionally dead, but still alive physically. Tony looked at his wrist watch and realized Peter would be home any minute. Then an idea grew onto him. “So... Stephen. Peter should be home any minute, i think it would nice to go out to the park. You know leave the house.”

Stephen didn’t respond. He hadn’t moved an inch either.

Tony looked up at him and sighed. “You know if you just sit there in the same position all day it’s not going to make you feel any better mentally.”

Stephen still didn’t leave a reply.

Tony’s heart broke a little more every time he spoke to him and he didn’t budge. He didn’t move, he didn’t make any noise, like said before it was like he wasn’t alive. Like he was in a coma. He didn’t know what to do. He could pay for therapy but who says that Stephen would go with him to said therapy. Talking does absolutely nothing. Tony felt as Stephen was helpless, and that made him deeply afraid as Stephen has already attempted suicide. 

“I worry about you, Stephen, and when you don’t give me any sort of response, physical or verbally, it makes me upset like I can’t do anything to help you. Can you at least respond?” 

Stephen sat still. 

Tony’s body tensed up. It wasn’t heart break. He watched the guy that treated him like a regular person, something he hasn’t had in a while, go from the happiest and most positive person to someone so broken that they can’t do anything but sit. Tony had to hold in tears. His throat was tight and his heart felt as it was stabbed. Knowing there isn’t anything he could possibly do is damaging. 

“Hi daddy!!” a little kid voice shouted running in from the front door. “Hey Dr. Strange!!” 

Tony was so focused on Stephen he completely blocked out the sound of Peter’s bus and him coming inside. “Oh! Hey Peter! How was school?” Tony smiled. 

Peter didn’t answer him. Tony saw as he was putting his shoes away that Stephen hadn’t answered when he said hi, which to him was unusual. Peter ran up to Stephen and nudged his knee. “Are you okay, Dr.Strange?” 

“Oh Peter he is just very-“

”Yea I’m okay. I’m just very tired.” Stephen spoke softly.

”Oh. Okay! You should go to sleep then.” Peter smiled, walking over to his father.

”Hey daddy! School was great! Do you think we can go to the park today? I just met this new girl, her name is Shuri and she just moved here and she said she’s going to the park and that she wants to see Dragon oh and I talked to her about Dragon too so can we go?” 

Tony looked at Peter, up at Stephen, then back down at Peter. “Only if Dr.Strange goes with us.” Tony responded. 

Peter gasped, “You hear that Dr.Strange?! Can you please come with us it’s the only way we can go! If you go I will give you a kitkat that i still have leftover from a birthday party at school for my friend. Please Dr. Strange please please!!?” Peter shouted.

Slowly Stephen opened his eyes and gave Tony an aggravated look. Tony knew that would work to get him out, Stephen can’t ignore Peter, even if he really wanted to. It was the only option at that point. Tony looked back at him with a sorrowful looked and mouthed “I’m sorry”.

Stephen took a deep breath and responded, “Okay.” 

“You hear that daddy!! He said yes!!”

”Mhm yea I heard.” Tony fake smiled down at his son. “Now before we go I just need to talk to Stephen for a moment.” Tony finished giving Stephen a hand motion to follow him.

”Okay! I’m just going to go get Dragon and I’ll be ready when you guys are!” Peter responded already half way up the stairs.

Before continuing up the stairs, Tony paused. “When’s the last time you had a different pair of clothes on?” 

Stephen didn’t answer.

Tony nodded and continued up the stairs. “Ignoring me is understandable. I would probably ignore me too if I where in your spot.” 

Surprisingly Stephen did follow Tony up the stairs then onto the right into his room. They both then walked into his walk in closet which was the size of a fully built basement. “Okay Strange lets give you something simple. It’s like what, 62 outside?” Tony looked around in his walk in closet and grabbed a jacket, a white shirt, and sweatpants. 

“Take this and go change. I’m not 100 percent sure it will fit but I mean Steve gave me some of his stuff. I didn’t ask for it he just came and gave them to me to drop them off at Goodwill and you know what who feels like doing that?” Tony chuckled.

“There is a bathroom just outside this closet. I’ll be downstairs you can meet me and Peter there.” Tony said nervously.

Tony didn’t want to leave Stephen alone. He didn’t have a good enough excuse to stay in his room to wait for Stephen to get out either. He was nervous Stephen would never come back out the bathroom. What would he have to do when explaining that to Peter if he would taken his own life. Thinking about t more and more each step he took downstairs made him more and more worried. But he had to stop thinking of it, he was already giving off visible signs of anxiety and didn’t want to explain it to his son. 

“Alright Peter you ready? We just have to wait on Dr.Strange he’s changing.” Tony smiled.

”Yea! I’m ready. So is Dragon. Also does it look like Dragon is getting bigger? He was smaller like, yesterday.”

”Hmm” Tony rubbed his chin and took a good look at the pet turtle. “Maybe he’s not a turtle but a baby tortoise”

”A what?”

”A tortoise. They are like turtles but way bigger but can’t be in water. Which is a bit strange because is it even legal to have a pet tortoise? No wonder the lady who gave it to us told us not to put it in water. Hm. Strange...” Tony thought.

Peter picked Dragon up in his palms and began to observe him. “How big do tortoises get?” 

“Pretty big. I’m talking about the size of a basketball. Maybe even bigger.” 

Peter looked at his pet turtle wide-eyed in excitement. “Wow! Seriously! I guess Dragon is an appropriate name for him then! Wow that’s so cool I can’t wait till he gets that big!”

”Mhm.” Tony nodded, looking at his watch. Stephen has been up there just a minute longer than Tony expected, making him a bit nervous.

 _if it’s been 5 more minutes I’ll go check on him_ Tony thought. “So tell me about your friend, Shuri.”

”Oh! She’s really cool! She moved here from... uhhhh... You know what I can’t remember. But she moved here and she is really cool and nice and funny. She also is really really smart like almost like you smart! I think you would like her. She said her brother and his friend are taking her to the park so you won’t be able to meet her parents.” 

“Oh? Why’s that.”

”Well she told me her brother and her friend wanted to hang out but her mom said that she could go with them.” Peter answered.

Tony nodded and began sweating as he looked at his watch again. Only a minute passed by he was still getting heavily nervous. 

“Sooo is Dr. Strange done changing?” Specter asked impatiently.

”Oh you know what I’ll go... See what’s taking him so long!” Tony quickly answered.

Tony quickly jumped up and made his way up the stairs. He was seconds away from knocking on the door before Stephen opened it. “Oh! H-“

”Again.” Stephen interrupted sharply.

”Look. I get its irritating, but could you cut me some slack? Please? I almost watched you end your own life and how you have been acting recently is making me a little jumpy and protective.”

Stephen sighed and proceeded to walk past Tony and down the stairs. Tony, embarrasses, sunk his head into his palms.  _You can’t seem to do anything right, Anthony_ Tony thought. He brushed himself up mentally and then continued to follow Stephen down the stairs. “Ready?” Tony smiled, grabbing his keys, sunglasses, and hat. 

“Yea we’re ready!!” Peter cheered, holding dragon up in the air. 

They then proceeded to exit the house and got into the car to drive on off towards the Artist View Park. 


	17. Chapter 17

After a maybe few minute drive they had finally reached Artist View Park. As soon as Tony had parked the car and unlocked it Peter was already on his way to go and play on the playground.

Tony and Stephen stepped out the car simultaneously and then Tony proceeded to lock it. “So Stephen, you’ve never been out in public with me,” Tony paused, fixing his sunglasses and placing them back on his face.

“So to avoid paparazzi and stuff like that, code name, Howard Potts. Use it when around other people, but when alone you can just keep calling me Tony.” Tony finished.

Stephen shot a quick confused glance at Tony. “Howard.... _Potts_?”

“Yup.  Stick with it and try not to slip up so I don’t get bombarded with fans you know?” Tony confirmed.

Stephen nodded and began walking down towards the park. It was a quiet walk but it didn’t last too long since the parking lot wasn’t too far from the actual playground. Peter and his friend had already met up and they were hanging out under a tree in a patch of grass.

Tony thought it was a great time to introduce himself to Shuri. He looked up at Stephen and signaled him to following him over to Peter. “Hey Peter!” Tony called out.

Peter’s attention quickly shifted to Tony and Stephen. His eyes sparked with glee and immediately ran up to them. “Hey daddy! Hey Dr. Strange. Hey Shuri this is my dad and his friend!” Peter introduced.

Shuri looked up and smiled. “Hello!” She waved.

Only seconds passed when Shuri’s brother and his friend came racing over towards Shuri. “Hey... who are you guys?” The brother asked, standing over his sister.

“Oh! I’m just Peter’s dad, and this is um... my.. this is my brother...” Tony lied.

“I though he was your friend?” Shuri interrogated.

“Um you know what? Friend, brother, technically the same thing am I right?” Tony chuckled, nervously.

It was quiet after that. An awkward silence you could say. Shuri’s brother and his friend eyed each other like they were suspicious, Peter looked nervous, and Shuri had no clue what was going on. “Okay well... My name is T’challa and this is my friend, Everett.” T’challa spoke up, breaking the silence.

_“Dude, don’t give our name away to some stranger,” Everett whispered._

_“He’s not a stranger dude he’s Shuri’s friends dad.”_

_“You don’t know that he’s obviously up to something.”_

_“No no now that I get a good look at him he kind of looks like Ton-“_

"Hey, not to be rude but you guys aren't the greatest at whispering." Tony interrupted. 

T'challa and Everett turned their focus back up to Tony. They gave of a suspicious look. Tony wasn't the best at hiding himself in public, a hat and sunglasses isn't always the best disguise. They got a good look at his facial features and voice, sounding oddly familiar to the famous billionaire Tony Stark. "Hey... You know what... You kind of look like Tony stark." T'challa concluded.

Tony chuckled and nodded his head, "Really? Me? You think I look like Tony Stark? That's funny. I take the compliment though, kid." 

"Okay. If you aren't him then take your sunglasses off." T'challa insisted. 

"Oh you know what kid? I'd rather not."

"Why not?"

"Simple, I'm blind. Can't see a thing ever since I came out the womb."

T'challa shrugged and nodded, "Okay, then how did you know exactly where you  _son_ and my sister where? We heard you call them out, dude."

"You know what? For a 14 year old you sure do ask a lot of questions." Tony intrigued. 

"Just trying to make sure some random ass man isn't trying to take my sister, Tony." T'challa responded.

"What- You know what? Look, kid, you're starting to really grind my gears you know. First of all, I am not Tony Stark. I take the compliment but it isn't me and I would greatly appreciate it if you one stopped referring me as such and two not curse around my kid. Okay?" 

T'challa and Tony began to make direct eye contact. T'challa was really eyeing him, which was understandable as he wanted his little sister safe and not be surrounded by a random man. The situation began suspicious the moment Peter called Stephen Tony's friend and Tony called him his brother. He had no intent on keeping a conversation like this going up for so long. But the more and more in depth the sort of 'argument' got, the more suspicious and interested he was to find out who this man was and if he was Tony Stark or not. "T'challa you know it's not that big of a deal, Peter is like 7 he could have forgotten they were brothers."

T'challa gave him a shocked glance, "You mean to tell me a 7 year old is going to forget his own uncle?"

Stephen rolled his eyes and slumped back whit his arms crossed out of annoyance. Not only was he forced to go somewhere he didn't, but he is spending most of his time listening to Tony argue with a child. What was worse was that Tony wasn't that good at lying, according to Stephen and this very experiment. Tony immediately forget Peter referred to Stephen as his friend and started this whole unnecessary hassle. "I'm really sorry, my friend is seriously stupid. We're not brothers, he just woke up and is very tired and doesn't know what he's talking about. He isn't Tony Stark though, if you knew him personally you could tell he wasn't. No he is not blind, he just is insecure about taking his sunglasses off. Yes that is his son, Peter Potts and his name is Howard Potts. I have no clue why that was so hard to announce but like I said he is just, seriously stupid, and it's from the fact that he is insanely tired?" Stephen informed. 

Tony gave Stephen a look, like a ' _do you really think I'm stupid?'_ kind of look and Stephen responded by shaking his head. T'challa and Everett nodded understanding what Stephen said. They get it, they were both in high school and knew what it was like to wake up so exhausted you forget who you are and where you are. "Alright, I'll take it. Sorry for the trouble and you should probably get some rest Mr. Potts." T'challa apologized.

"Actually, why don't you guys just take a walk around the park and that will hopefully make you feel more awake, we can watch your kid while you're at it." Everett offered. 

Tony wasn't sure about leaving his kid alone with two teenagers he barely knew and got in a fight with. He looked over with Stephen and he nodded, his body language suggesting that he should allow them to watch Peter. "Um. Sure." Tony nodded. "Just, don't be too far away from them." 

"Yea, we got you Mr. Potts." T'challa smiled. 

Tony nodded and spread a fake smile over towards him. He pat Stephen on the back to signal him on to walking off and away from the kids. After a few steps away from the group, Tony shot a glanced at Stephen with a concerned look on him, "Do you really think I'm stupid?" he asked.

"Of course not. Everything insulting I said in that I didn't mean." 

Tony sighed, "Well, I assumed you meant it because you seemed pissed off at me. Which of course I do understand. I just, you know I hate seeing you sit there all day and nothing I did helped. You never answered me physically or verbally, every time I talked to you nothing came in return. So I had to do what I had to do. It's not the best option. Actually it's a terrible option. Forcing you to go like that I know it wasn't cool I'm really sorry about it. Stephen I can keep seeing you like that, I can't and I won't let myself either. I know I am starting to sound selfish but I hate seeing you like that because I hate seeing you so hurt that you are physically in able to respond, like a vegetable. It's painful Stephen-"

"Why." Stephen cut off. 

Tony stumped. He stopped walking for a split second and then continued in shock, " _Stephen... Why?_ Ever since the accident your whole entire personality just flipped. You know that? I feel like I've explained before why I find it so heartbreaking. You used to be so cheery and excited every time I came to drop off Peter at your camp. You smiled almost every time I ran into you. You joked, you laughed, you where cheery, talkative, loving, caring, and now I just don't see that anymore. Remember how I told you how I appreciated how you treated me as a normal person despite how famous I was? I meant that, really I did. You just are not. You. You changed. Drastically, Stephen. You went from talkative to only yes and no and one or two word responses. You went from smiling to an emotionless expression. You went from cheery to suicidal in the time span of one day. It hurts to see that one you appreciated change like that, and not being able to do _anything_ about it. _"_ Tony explained.

Stephen shook his in embarrassment. In his opinion he deserved to feel the way he does. How could he completely forget about two kids left inside a burning building. How? He wasn't thinking. He was being careless. "I don't get you and Christine at all." He mumbled. "She feels bad for me even though everything I got I deserved. When I got into the car accident and I wasn't keeping my eyes out on the road I crashed and permanently damaged my hands. I had to quit my job and lost all my money and was living with her for years. She always told me when I was sad that 'it was okay' or 'don't let your disability in your hands bring you down' when I deserved everything I got. Just like I deserved the clinical depression and potential PTSD I had after the accident. I don't even deserve to be living right now for allowing those lives of those children to be taken away-"

" _ **Don't.**_ " Tony stopped and grabbed Stephen by his arm, tightly. Stephen put his walking to an end and looked at Tony with a confused look. "Do. Not. Say. That. Seriously, Stephen. Do not." Tony let go of his arms and took a deep breath. They both became silent but continued onto their walk. 

Whenever Stephen said anything that had to do with attempting to or taking his own life it made him nervous. Extremely nervous. It made him nervous only because he knows Stephen would do it. He tried it already and from how Stephen has been acting the past few days it seemed to be more likely. It deeply frightened him. It made him lose sleep as he would always get up to go check on Stephen. Tony also knew it was annoying to Stephen that he would always come up to him if he took a minute longer than usual or if something was suspicious to him. If he went somewhere and he was being to quiet, or that one time he barged into the bathroom because he heard pills rattling and thought he was about to overdose only to find he was taking medication for a migraine. It was embarrassing, it was, but he couldn't help it. He was in a constant state of worry.

Tony thought it was time to try and lighten the mood. Now that Stephen was outside and not stuck in his own thoughts, responses may be easier to get from it. He took a deep breath and looked around at the scenery, just tree's but still a nice sight. "So Stephen... I haven't seen you draw in a while." Tony brought up. 

Stephen stayed quiet for a few seconds, then opened his mouth, "Um, I haven't really had the energy."

Tony's mood lighten as soon as Stephen gave a response. He hadn't 100% expected one out of him. "Understandable. I think it would help you though. You know... what is it called... Vent art? You know draw what's going on in your mind so you don't have to keep it all in. Or it doesn't all have to be vent art, it can be just regular art. Whatever you like to draw." 

Stephen shrugged, "Don't have anywhere to draw though."

"Well, Peter is an artist. He has plenty of paper and I know he wont hesitate to let you borrow some." Tony smiled.

"Yea but I'd rather do it on my own. Like my own paper or sketch book." 

"I can buy you one!" Tony offered. "And it can be whatever you want since, you know, I'm kind of a _billionaire._  What I'm saying I don't care about the price of the sketch book if you want it I'll buy it. Huh? How about it? I can take you and Peter to some art shop after this I think that would be really nice. Oh and you know what, lets add ice cream to that. Art shop then ice cream, all on me. How about it?" Tony said, nudging him in the arm and cracking a big smile.

Stephen thought about it. He didn't want to. He wanted to go back home and just sit like he always did, but it wasn't about him anymore. It was more about  _would it make Tony and Peter happy?_ Stephen looked at Tony who was just overjoyed at the idea he had came up with. He nodded and cracked a small smile, "Sounds nice." 

Tony's eyes lit up. Seeing him smile like that filled his heart up immediately. Seeing him smile just made him want to glee even more. "Look at that! You're doing so amazing, Stephen. Really!" Tony congratulated. "Especially after that deep conversation. You are such a strong person!" 

Stephen laughed. "You sound like Christine."

Tony looked at him and made them meet eye to eye, he smiled and pat Stephen's back, "She must have really loved you then." 

"Mhm, she did." Stephen nodded. "Wait what?" 

"Hey Mr. Potts!" Everett shouted. 

Tony turned his head and saw Shuri, Peter, Everett, T'challa, and Dragon making their way over towards them. "Hey guys, what's up?" Tony asked.

"My mom came to come pick us up and I didn't want her to know you left us alone with Peter so me and Everett ran to find you guys to drop Peter off. We had fun be we gotta run because my mom is probably wondering were we are! Bye!" Then they all ran off as quickly as they came. 

Tony looked down at Peter who had Dragon safely sitting on top of his head. "Did you have fun?" Tony asked. 

He nodded, "Yea I did! Me and Shuri played pretend and we were like knights and pretending to protect Dragon from Dragon hunters, Everett and T'challa, it was really fun!!" 

"That's good, hold on to Dragon." Tony said, picking Peter up. "Now after this I'm going to take you and Dr. Strange to an art shop, then we're going to end the day off with ice cream, how does that sound?" 

Peter gasped, "Really?! Wow!! That sounds so awesome!! You hear that Dr. Strange? That's awesome thank you so so so so so so so so so so so sooooooo much daddy!" Peter cheered, wrapping his arms around his father.

"You're welcome, Peter." Tony smiled, hugging his son back. 


	18. Chapter 18

"So. What place do you have in mind?" Tony smiled, gazing over at Stephen while paused at a stop light. Stephen turned his head in shock. He had no clue where to go, he got all his art supplies online and never really went to go to an art shop, and if he did he conveniently ran into it and forgot about the name. Stephen thought Tony already had a place to go out to, now for some reason it was all to him. " I thought you had a place to go." Stephen responded.

"Oh!" Tony perked up as the light turned green and continued to drive. "Well, I'm gonna be straight with you Strange I didn't have a place in mind. I thought you would. I never remember any of the stores Peter ask to go to because I get most his stuff online." Tony chuckled.

"Hey what about Micheals?" Peter smiled. "It's right next to that Target we always go to! Micheals' Art's and Home..... decOUR? Dee core... D-E-C-O-R. I don't really know how to say it."

Tony smiled softly and nodded, "Alright."

Micheals' Art's and Home Decor wasn't to much ways away. Tony estimated to be about 10 minutes from their current destination. The car ride was filled with only the sounds of Peter sweet talking to his pet turtle dragon. Stephen decided it was time to get a bit of rest, not rest his eyes of course, but just lie down. Getting up and going to the park was a lot. It was a huge step and accepting Tony's invite to bring him to an art store and get ice cream after. Stephen didn't want to do that, at all. He wanted to immediately say no to Tony when he had offered, but he couldn't. Tony was extremely happy and he would have felt bad for bringing him and Peter down. Peter wouldn't have known they missed out on ice cream because of his decision, but he would have sat with that on his conscious. He already had enough weight sitting on it now.

Stephen took a deep sigh and sunk down further on the passenger car door. Tony took a glimpse at Stephen, he felt awful for him. Poor Stephen looked so exhausted and it showed. It showed both in his voice, his eyes, his tone, his mood, it was clear as day. He couldn't stop side-eyeing him though. It was just something he did or something about him that melted his whole heart. Stephens eyes glowed bright, they were tired, but still made him fall. Sometimes Tony wish he could do more than just talking to Stephen to help him. Stephen needed physical comfort and it greatly showed. As much as he secretly wished he could. He couldn't. Did he want to anyway? Thinking of it made him question if he actually started to grow attraction, or maybe he just wanted to give the guy a hug because he craves one? " **DAD!! YOU JUST RAN A RED LIGHT!!!** " Peter yelled.

" **What**?!" Tony's eyes shot back to the road almost instantly and before he could give out another response he heard police sirens follow him from behind. " _Shit_." he mumbled, driving up and pulling over with the cop car behind him following. Tony, fuming, sat back and rolled his eyes and huffed and puffed in utter anger. Not his best moment being pulled over with your son and a friend in the car. Tony looked up at his mirror and Peter looked shaken. "It's alright, Peter, all I'm gonna get is a ticket. Unfortunately." Tony comforted. He then motioned his focus over to Stephen. Stephen. He looked mortified. He looked like he was sinking in terror and Tony knew this without even seeing his face. The poor man had his ears closed tight and his body was trembling. Before he could check up on him the officer walked up. "License and registration please." 

Tony tried to get this whole situation done quick to check up on Stephen and flung his wallet out and went to pull out his ID and license. "Okay. Yes I ran the red light. No I am not drunk the time is 3:42 PM. Now can I please have my ticket so I can get on my way?" Tony snarled. 

The police woman gave him a sort of stuck up look as she handed back his ID and license. She looked over at Stephen and her police sense instantly came into action. The way he was sitting in his sit and how he was shaking. It didn't seem right to her. "Hey sir is everything okay?" She interrogated. 

Tony put a hand on Stephen's back and rubbed it softly hoping it would help ease his obvious panic attack. "This is Stephen and he's incredibly ill. He has a bad bad ear infection and we have to get him to the hospital quick because he is in unbearable pain. So can we just get this thing going so I can get my sick friend to the hospital?" Tony snapped. 

The police officer wasn't taking it. It was suspicious behavior. But because of Tony's calm demeanor, the body language he gave off and the fact he gave out the name without any second thinking she let is slide, but did proceed to get his license plate before promptly leaving and getting into her vehicle to leave off. Tony didn't hesitate to turn to Stephen to check on him. " _Hey Stephen. Hey you're alright. You doing okay? You alright?_ " Tony spoke softly. 

Peter unbuckled his seat belt and sat Dragon safely down on the seat next to him to rub Stephens arm in attempt to comfort. "It's okay Dr. Strange. I was scared too. But it's okay because daddy is the best and he always has everything under control! And we're going to go to the art shop soon, it's going to be okay." Peter warmed up. 

Tony sighed sadly, "I think we need to go h-"

"No." Stephen interrupted sticking arm out. "No. We don't have to go home. I-I'm okay." Tears still rapidly falling down from his eyes and his body so shaken it showed up in his voice. This causing him to stutter when talking. Tony's heart shattered looking up at him. Not only was Stephen already exhausted but just the panic and fear in his eyes, he wish there was more he could do. It nearly broke him every time Stephen had any sort of attack like this. Tony looked at Stephen, directly into his eyes, as softly as he could. He nodded and softly grabbed his forearm and softly rubbed his thumb on his arm. "You're gonna be okay. Okay? Everything's gonna be alright." Tony promised, speaking gently to ease Stephens attack. Stephens looked back at Tony, straight into his dark brown eyes. He then remembered the breathing tactic Tony delivered him the last time he had a panic attack, _in 4, hold 4, out 4_. 

Stephen closed his eyes and began slowly breathing. It was only a matter of time that his shaking started to die down and his heart rate slowed back down to it's original rate. Tony immediately noticed what he was doing, "You're doing great." He complimented while showing off a bright smile. Peter, on the other hand, was observing his father. He had watched enough transformers and power rangers to know how someone looks at someone else in a loving manner. It clicked instantly. Also, Peter hadn't seen his dad look at someone like that ever. Pepper had died before he could remember who she actually was so he never saw his dad look at anyone that way. "Wow. You really love him, dad." Peter slid up to the center of them looking at both of them and smiling.

Stephen and Tony gave off the same response. Shock. "Wh- No. Peter- What? Sit back in your seat and put your seat belt on Pete and stop saying stuff like that." Tony stammered, sitting back up in his seat and facing the road.

Peter snapped his seat belt on then tapped Stephens shoulder. Stephen looked back at Peter with a confused looked. The little kid motioned his hand to hint to him to lean in closer. Peter went up to Stephen's ear, "I think my dad might love you. I never seen him look at someone like that. _You're special_." He then leaned back with a bright smile that spread across his face. Stephen kept an eye on him before he slowly began to sit back up in his seat. Peter was always saying bizarre stuff to him. Ever since they first met he was giving away all his dads secrets, and now this? Stephen was too focused on his own mental well being to even notice any signs Tony gave off that he liked him in that way. It didn't dawn on him because to him it wasn't important, but now that he put it into consideration after what Peter blurted out and whispered to him. It made slight sense. 

Stephen tried brushing it off by saying stuff like Christine treats him the same exact way. She loves all over him but she admit to not doing it in a relationship-loving way. Tony says a lot of stuff Christine says, like how proud he is of him, asking how he's doing every few minutes, checking up on him, giving him his undivided attention, maybe he was just treating him that way because he felt bad. Tony is a billionaire, a highly famous billionaire at that, there is no way that he could like someone like him. Especially after, what Stephen thought, killing those kids, Tony couldn't like a terrible person like him, and so what if Tony did admire him more then a friend? Stephen wasn't even sure if he liked him that way. The slight crush he had on him when he first started bringing Peter immediately died after the incident. 

Then Stephen thought. 

_Christine. He hadn't contacted her ever since he had gotten out the hosp-_

"You comin'?" Tony called out.

Stephen snapped back into reality and looked up; they had already arrived at the store minutes ago. Stephen looked around confused then nodded and unbuckled his seat. Before he could get up Tony placed a hand on his shoulder with a slight worry in his face, "You alright?" 

Stephen nodded slightly and responded, "Yea! Yea um, I was just thinking." Stephen clarified, getting out of the car and closing the door behind him. Tony nodded and smiled, "Good." 

Stephen looked around and noticed Peter wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Hey um... Where's Peter?" 

"Oh! Don't worry about him. He's in the store in the children area where they sit and draw. You know this is the worse store to bring him because he never wants to buy anything." Tony laughed.

Stephen nodded and kept quiet. The walk towards the store was short and quiet. It gave Stephen some time to continue thinking about what he was before he was being interrupted. Christine. _Oh Christine._ Stephen thought. He hadn't talked to her and he knows she's worried. He doesn't have any way of contact since everything he had was destroyed. He couldn't remember any way he could possible contact her though. He felt terrible. As he messed up again. Again. Like always. Always disappointing someone along the way. It's almost his job, he has done it so much. "Stephen!" Tony shouted softly.

"What?!"

"Are you okay? This is the second time you are so lost in your own thoughts you're not even hearing me. What's wrong, Stephen? _What's wrong_." Tony's voice lightened. He was worried again. Stephen hated when people had any sort of sympathy for him. He never showed it because he didn't want to come across as rude, but he hated it, because deep inside he knew he didn't deserve it. "Nothing is wrong I'm just thinking. Sorry." Stephen answered.

Tony sighed, his face drooped in sorrow and shook his head, "You're okay. Just try to keep your mind off of whatever so you can-"

 ** _"STEPHEN?!!!!"_** a familiar female voice shouted. 

Stephen knew instantly who it was. What a coincidence. "Oh my god! Stephen oh my god!!" Christine yelled slightly lower as she ran up to him. "I can't believe it. I seriously can't believe I ran into you. I can' _t_." Christine's voice cracked as tears started to form up in her eyes. She held his face in her palms, lightly rubbing her thumbs onto his cheeks. Tony barged in the gathering and pushed her back off him in utter confusion. He stared down at her, observing her and her person, "Um. I'm sorry but, who are you?" Tony asked with a harsh attitude. 

Christine was shocked, then let out a small laugh afterwards. "You really don't know? I called you that... One time... You know what um just forget about that. Hey! I'm Christine Palmer! Stephen's best friend! And no need to tell me who you are," She leaned in and lowered her voice, " _I already know._ " 

Tony cocked his head back in shock, "Who I am- Okay look, _Christine_ , I don't quite think you know what you're talking about. We have never met. Ever." 

Christine rolled her eyes and smiled, it was impossible for her to take Tony's attitude to heart, she was just happy to see Stephen doing well and _alive,_ "That's alright. I'm not going to get in it further so you don't get noticed. But! I just... Wow Stephen you look so great!! I can't believe you're like out! And... Um... I don't want to say you're name out loud but thank you for caring for him. I came to McDonalds when I thought he was working and they told me he was fired! I went to his hotel and he was not there. God Stephen you really had me terrified for the last few days I haven't seen you. But just look! You're here safe and that's all that matters. Awww wow I am so proud Stephen you're doing so good from the last time I saw you!" 

Stephen sighed and gave off an artificial smile, "Yea." 

"Oh!! You know what!! Can I have your phone... Um... Code name... _Palmer_?" Christine asked, winking at Tony. 

"What? For what? Absolutely not." Tony denied.

"Come on... Stephen doesn't have anything to contact me with and I don't want to leave and have to question when the last time I will ever see him again... Please. I really promise I won't give the number out... Please don't put me through what I was through when I thought Stephen wasn't with us anymore." Christine's voiced heavily softened. It wasn't cheery anymore. Stephen heard the hurt in her voice and it put on a lot of weight onto his heart. To hear someone that's almost always cheery to switch to a tone so broken, especially when it's caused because of him. "She won't give it away. I promise." Stephen backed up. 

Tony gave it a second thought. He looked up at Stephen who gave off the "Please?" facial expression. He instantly became nervous committing to this. Giving his number to a complete stranger. He took his phone out and you could see how he was shaking. "It's okay... I won't give it out. I just want contact with St-"

"Here. Put it in. Quick." Tony glanced off to the side. He was eyeing everywhere but his phone to keep his mind off his insane decision he had just made. Tony didn't like giving out any information. At all, and his number to a complete stranger to him could be a disaster. The moment she posts the number to social media. Yes he could change it, but how he would be bombarded and worse... His trust in Stephen would lessen, and that's the last thing he would ever want. Stephen would feel awful and Tony knows it. T- "Sir? Here you go."

"Oh! Yes. Thanks." Tony thanked, taking the phone and putting it away.

"Well. I'm going to leave you two be. Just know I love to see you outside Stephen. You're doing great." She gleaned, then proceeded to walk away.

"Sorry. I just feel iffy about giving out contact information to strangers you know." Tony apologized.

"It's okay. I understand completely." Stephen nodded.

Tony smiled, "You really think I sound like her?" 

Stephen shrugged, "Yea. To me at least." 

They continued to walk into an aisle that had sketchbooks filled from the top to the bottom shelf. They where all different sizes and the paper inside where each a different sheet of paper. Stephen was wide eyed. Hadn't seen an art supply in a while. "Go ahead and choose anything, I'll get it for you. No matter how expensive." Tony offered. "Also, I have a question. What did Peter say when he whispered to you? Just curious."

"Hm." Stephen paused, observing a sketch book. "He told me I was special."

"Oh? Did he say why?" Tony raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 

"Well..." Stephen paused, eyeing another sketch book further down the aisle. "He told me it was because he never saw you look at anyone the way you did before he said you know what." 

Tony dropped his head down towards the floor and laughed, "That kid really does have a big mouth. I don't know how he managed to not tell everyone his father is Tony Stark yet." Tony laughed.

Stephen gave him a look. A shocked kind of expression, "Are you approving of what he said?"

Tony turned and peered over to Stephen. Showing off the softest smile he could because just looking at the man made his heart jump. 

"Maybe I am. _Maybe I'm not_." Tony answered with a bright, loving, smile. 

Stephens heart skipped. Maybe Tony truly did love him for more than a friend, and as much as he tried to hide the fact, Stephen admittedly loved him back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so long :(, i tried to make it a reasonable length and it just didn't work, sorry sorry!!!


	19. Chapter 19

It was about an hour before the group had finally left the store. Tony allowed Stephen to take his time and Peter never had a problem staying in the children area in the store so he wasn't in a rush. Tony also enjoyed how happy Stephen was looking at all the many art supplies. Although he didn't show it through his lips, he did threw his eyes. The way he eyed the sketchbooks, pens, markers, pencils, you could tell he deeply enjoyed being able to get art supplies and draw again. Stephen didn't want Tony to spend too much on him despite his balance, so what he got was one of each. One sketchbook, about 15'' x 9'' inch. A pack of pens, pencils, a sharpener, and markers.

As they walked out of the store and into the parking lot Tony pat him on the arm and whispered, "You still down for ice cream? If you do that's fine but I doubt Peter's gonna remember we were even going in the first place and I really don't feel like driving any longer."

Stephen shook his head, he never really wanted to be out to begin with. "No. Not really. I'd actually like to just go back to the house. I'm tired."

Tony glanced up at Stephen and took a look at his eyes. It was evident bags began to form, "You look tired." Tony paused, taking a look at Stephen, "Try to get some rest on the way home." 

Stephen turned his head to make contact with Tony. "Try to get some rest on the way home." He couldn't. Even if he so desperately wanted to. Stephen lowered his head and sighed. "Yea." He responded, pitifully. He walked over to the passenger side of the car and opened the door and proceeded to get in. Tony allowed himself into the car and buckled up. He looking in the front view mirror to check up on Peter who was already knocked out with Dragon sitting in his arms. Then he turned his head to Stephen. Stephen was lying down on the car door with his eyelids occasionally drooping, but every time they closed they would shoot back open. "Say, Stephen." Tony softly called out.

"Hm?" Stephen mumbled in response.

"When's the last time you've slept." Tony asked.

That question stumped him a bit, but Stephen knew he had to respond fast to end the conversation quicker. "Last night." Stephen answered.

"Okay. Do you... Remember when you fell asleep? The night before of course." 

"I can't remember, Tony." Stephen shortened. 

Tony's heart sunk in sorrow. Tony never thought about the fact that Stephen may not be getting enough sleep, or any sleep at all. Stephen never went to bed before Tony and was always awake before he was. There was that one time Stephen did wake up afterwards, but it just seemed suspicious. He hadn't seem rested now that Tony looked back at the moment. It didn't dawn on him. He had just thought he was a late sleeper and woke up early, and now that Tony got a good look at him, he looked exhausted. Stephen always looked _tired._ The fact that Stephen may not be sleeping alone makes his heart cry. " _Tony?_ " Stephens voice filled with worry. The way he called out Tony's name made his heart rate go up. The light and worried tone, a tone he had never heard Stephen say his name in. Maybe even _ever_. Stephen rose up and his concerned look made Tony feel even worse. " _You okay?_ " 

Tony glanced up at Stephen, his expression made it incredibly tough to look at him directly. "Y-yea I'm okay. I'm just, worried about you not getting enough sleep." Tony responded. He then proceeded to put the car in reverse to pull out and begin his drive home.

"I'm okay. I promise I'm getting enough rest. No need to worry too much about it." Stephen ensured. 

"I know, I know. But. It's not that easy, Stephen." Tony shook his head and sighed. " _It's not that easy._ "

"How come?" Stephen questioned. 

"Well. For one. You've got—you have...You've got _visible_ bags underneath your eyes. That's not easy to ignore and just _push_ aside." 

" _Bags...?_ " Stephen held his hands up to under his eyes and felt around. He swiftly shifted towards the front of the car and pulled down the sun visor and lifted the cover to the mirror. He peered into the mirror and focused on the bottom of his eyes. Bags. They were there, and they were visible. Stephen sighed has he placed the cover back down on the mirror and lifted the sun visor. He sat back in his seat and looked up ashamed. "Sleep hasn't been easy ever since the incident. The longest I've gotten was maybe about... 4 hours."

Tony's heart sunk further, "And the shortest?"

"....30 minutes."

They way Stephen uttered those words, he sounded like he was in so much distress. Tony grabbed onto the wheel a tighter to try and keep all the sorrow he felt for Stephen. The poor guy was so affected of that horrible event it caused not only potential PTSD and depression, but insomnia. Then Tony thought of an idea. Something that will hopefully help him slightly in his sleep issue; sleeping pills. Unfortunately they would have to be store bought which aren't always the strongest, but it was the best option he had since Stephen is refusing to get help outside of him. "How about I stop at the store and buy you some sleeping pills." 

Stephen nodded and smiled vaguely, "That would be really nice, Tony." 

Tony grinned back, "That's the plan. Now... Nearest Walgreen is... 26 minutes. That's enough time plus the time of me going into the store to catch a small nap." said Tony. He left the GPS area of his car's system and went to the radio and chose a radio with smooth jazz. Something that usually helps anyone fall asleep quickly and peacefully. "Mhm..." Stephen moaned out of exhaustion as he laid up against the car door. His eyes beginning to get heavy and his body felt as it was sinking into the car door. It was only a matter of time 'till Stephen eyes had closed and he drifted to sleep.

Tony couldn't help but light up with contentment. To see Stephen finally get some rest. To see Stephen visually getting _better_. Tony could tell instantly. Before if asked how much sleep he gotten he wouldn't answer it and would more than likely completely ignore him, but this time he didn't. It was like more trust was being put out. That smile too. It wasn't fake; It was _real_ , and that's what made Tony just brighten up with pure happiness. To see someone he cares so deeply about, finally show some signs of happiness. To see him improving. At this very moment he had nothing on his mind but that fact that,

Stephen was getting _better_.  


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey there reminder that if u want to message me out of the comment section 
> 
> Insta: theyloveari.2  
> tumblr: lezbyen

" _Stephen, you have to wake up, seriously_." Stephen heard Tony faintly speak out.

"Hm?" Stephen shot up taking a look around to remember where he was. "What...?"

"We're home. Looks like you had a good nap. Come on." Tony smiled, opening the car door up more to make it easier to walk out. Stephen held onto the side of the car and gave himself a boost to stand up outside the car. Tony grabbed Stephens bags and closed the car door and locking the vehicle. Stephen caught up on the fact that Tony had his bags and immediately tried to take them away out of guilt. "I got it, Stephen." Tony said, moving his arms away from Stephen to prevent him from taking the bags.  

Again, Stephen felt ashamed. Whenever Tony did anything for him he felt ashamed. Tony was the one who had to convince him to even pick out the stuff for him to buy because Stephen didn't want him spending money on somebody like him. Plus the sleeping pill he bought for him. Stephen was thankful, of course he was, but he didn't deserve it. That's what he thought at least. Tony unlocked the top and bottom lock and opened the door, placing the bags aside. Tony stretches out his arms and back and took a look at his watch. “Alright. It’s uhhhh 6:32 so I can start cooking around 7:00 for dinner.” Tony smiled.

”What are we gonna have?” Peter asked, setting Dragon down in one of his many cages. 

“Umm. For you how about, dinosaur chicken nuggets? With a side of my famous macaroni and cheese huh?” Tony suggested, grinning down at his son. 

“Yea I’d like that.” Peter smiled back. 

Tony nodded and turned to Stephen, who was taking his belongings out of the bags. “How about you?” Tony asked.

Tony caught Stephen by surprise. He jolted his head up towards in confusion. He was stumped by the question. He didn’t know what he wanted and he wasn’t all that hungry. “I’m not sure, Tony. Whatever you cook I’ll eat.” Stephen answered. 

“Oh really? You know I don’t really have anything in mind. Is there anything specific you’re craving? I have it all you know.” Tony chuckled.

Stephen huffed and shrugged his shoulders. He stood up with all of his art supplies in one arm and the plastic bags in another. Making decisions where hard. For him at least. He didn't want to refuse food only because he knew it would spark worry on Tony. Stephen lacked on eating ever since the incident. Only eating maybe once a day and what he ate was something small like bread or apple slices. So he knew he had to come up with something. "I guess I'll just have some macaroni you're going to cook Peter." Stephen decided.

Tony smiled followed by slight laughter, "It's nothing special just boxed macaroni and I add almond milk, butter, and extra cheese. Which is just shredded cheese. But Peter likes it, I like it, and maybe you will too."  

Stephen nodded. He wasn't really up for a conversation much. He took his art supplies and placed them on the coffee table sat in the living room. He scattered his materials out onto the table. Now it was time to think of something to draw. Anything. Vent art? A portrait of someone? His mind was blank. It was unusual. His mind hadn't usually been blank when drawing. Art block was rare when it came to Stephen. He always found something to draw, even if it was a random object in the room or a random person going about there day when he happened to be drawing out in public. But here he sat completely blank. No creativity; it was making him freak out. 

Stephen didn't want to had ask tony to buy all these things for him to not use them. What if he ended up losing his ability to draw because his thoughts where filled with the image of the burning building. Or the two kids he had left in the bathroom, Carl and Lucy. He was so distracted by the event and trying to not burst into a full panic attack that he couldn't simply focus on what to draw or let alone art as a whole. The fear of losing the only thing he was good at all over again made him shake, but once again he had to keep it one. He tried to hide the fact that he was slightly quivering and tried to not let his irregular breathing get noticed. "Could I draw something?" a familiar voice lit up.

Stephen faced up, it was Peter. He had his head laying on top of his arms that where crossed. His voice made it seem that he was still tired from the long nap he took in the car. Stephen sat up closer to the coffee table and sat with his legs crossed. "Yea." Stephen agreed, giving off a fake smile that briskly faded away. 

Peter took the sketch book and turned it to face him. He then got his hands on one of the many pencils that where placed on the table and drew away. Looking at Peter draw made him feel a type of way. Not a positive way unfortunately. It reminded him of watching the kid draw when he would stay after with him waiting for Tony to come and pick him up. The way he drew was unique for a seven year old. He was drawing reference lines and sketching before darkening his outlines of his creation. It _was_ soothing, but, like said before, hard to watch. 

Fortunately before Stephen could start taking this moment close to heart Peter had finished and turned the drawing back at him. He examined the artwork, it was him. The clothing Peter had put him in seem familiar though, he couldn't remember where he had seen it. "This is... Me?" Stephen asked.

"Yea! As a super hero. You don't remember? I drew it for you once but... Actually never mind. You're supposed to be a wizard that can do cool tricks with your hands! Also that," Peter paused, pointing at a cape that draped around his shoulders in the drawing. "Is your cape. Do you like it?" Peter smiled brightly. 

Stephen glanced down at the art and grinned, a genuine one. "Yea. I like it." 

Peter shined with glee, "Now you draw something, Dr. Strange!" 

Stephen jotted his head back. Again, he was stumped. Draw what? He hadn't had an idea in mind. "Oh... I'm... Not really sure on what I want to draw." 

"What about..." Peter's voice softened and pointed over at the kitchen where Tony stood preparing dinner. 

Without looking Stephen instantly knew who he wanted to draw. Just the fact that Peter hadn't said his name out loud gave up another clue. Draw _Tony_? He would have to do it based off memory because he wouldn't want to seem weird making glances back and forth at him. But could he say no? He couldn't. Stephen can say no to a lot of people but Peter wasn't one of them. He was just a kid, a child, who could say no to him? 

Stephen grabbed a pencil and nodded with a short smile, "Alright." he nodded. 

"Okay! Can I watch you?" asked Peter.

"I don't see why not." Stephen allowed. 

"Okay!!" Peter jumped up from his place on the floor and went around the coffee table to sit next to Stephen. He scooted in and laid his body up against Stephens'. To Peter, it was almost magical to see the way Stephen drew. You could see how his hands trembling but the lines said otherwise. They where smooth and almost had zero disturbance. It was almost like he was drawing like he never had the nerve damage. Stephen recognized it too. How he was still just as good as art as he was before. He thought he would had lose his ability since he hadn't drawn in so long. It made him smile. A real one too. He's smiled more today then he ever did since the accident. 

On the other hand, Tony sat with his back up against the island in the kitchen scrolling his phone as he waited for the chicken nuggets to be done in the oven. He looked up from his phone and eyed Stephen and Peter, peacefully sitting besides one another drawing. That alone made his heart jump. He didn't know what made him feel this way. Seeing Stephen with Peter lying up against him or seeing Peter lying up against Stephen. Maybe it was both.

Then a thought came to mind, Christine would like to see Stephen like this. So, he drew out his camera and snapped a picture. It was easy since both of them had their backs turned. Tony opened his phone and scrolled through his many contacts and selected Christine's name and sent the photo. Within seconds of sending she had already replied. She sent a spam of hearts follow with the message 'wow!! look at him!! doing so great look him and Peter look so adorable thats amazin g! :D!!!!!!" 

"Hey daddy look at this! Look at what Dr. Strange drew—it's you!! Isn't it awesome!" Peter yelled, shoving Stephens sketch book up in Tony's face. 

Tony sat his phone down and took the book into his hands. He glanced up at Stephen who obviously didn't want the kid showing him this. He had his hands in his face slowly shaking his head. Tony turned his focus back onto the art. He examined every bit of it, looking at this made his heart dance. It was clear this drawing wasn't just drawn because he wanted something to sketch or because Peter suggested it. The art itself was evident that Stephen poured a lot of love into it. The detailed added in his face showed it the most. The way he drew Tony's eyes and facial expression. " _Wow._ " Tony whispered, covering his mouth. 

Stephen sat so ashamed that he completely refused to look back to see Tony's expression. Stephen did not want Peter to show him that draw, but what did he expect? It's a drawing of his father and he wanted to show him. Adding the fact that Peter is still only seven so he had little concept of consent. Stephen’s heart began racing as he heard Tony's footsteps inch closer to him. It wasn’t only a matter of time ‘till Tony took a seat on the floor across from Stephen at the coffee table. 

“This is amazing Stephen!” Tony complimented, grinning widely. 

Stephen removed his hands from his forehead and sighed. At this point ignoring Tony wasn’t an option. “It’s not that great, really. I drew it based off memory and it took me a couple of minutes—"

"You drew this by memory?! Seriously Stephen that's amazing? It looks just like me! Can I keep it? You know I can just hang it up on my wall in my lab along with Peter's art. If I can't that's okay but it would be nice?"

Stephen looked down at the art then up at Tony. Tony showed genuine glee at the art being help in his palms. That alone made it difficult for Stephen to keep a straight face. "Is it _that_ good?" Stephen said, trying to keep his obvious happiness hidden.

"Yea! It's really really cool! Also did you see my drawing on the side? It's Dr.Strange as a superhero! I mean he's already a superhero but like a superhero with powers and stuff!" Peter shouted in excitement. 

 _'he's already a superhero'_ That statement alone made him feel mixed emotions. But this time, the positive emotion overridden the the negative ones. The comment, for once, made him feel more joy then sorrow. Stephen couldn't help but hide his true feelings anymore. He felt his hands through his hair and smiled. "Yea." Stephen chuckled followed by a small grin.

"Yea what? I can keep it?" 

"You can keep it." Stephen allowed.

Excited, Tony carefully tore the paper from the guided lines along the page and placed the artwork on the desk. "I'll get before I go to bed." Tony smiled. "Well, looks like your nuggets should be about done now Peter, why don't you guys sit at the table? Food should be about ready." 

"Okay!!" Peter said, running up to take a seat at the table, followed by Stephen. 

                                                                                                              _________

Dinner was quiet as everyone was too busy devouring the food in front of them. Everyone except for Stephen who took small bites since he didn't want the food in the first place, but ate to not spark concern in Tony. Peter was already in his room fast asleep after eating so much plus the car ride home. It wasn't tough at all to get the little one fast asleep. Now as for Stephen. Tony bought the sleeping pills and decided it was best to keep them in his room locked up at all times. Stephen was already laying up in his bed and at the time was waiting for Tony to arrive with his pills.

It wasn't long before he heard Tony gently twist his door knob and walk in with sleeping pills on a napkin in one hand and water in another. " _Alright._ " Tony gently spoke with a soft smile across his face. He placed his things onto the night stand next him and then took a seat in one of the chairs in the room. "Now. Take those and it should help you fall asleep quickly."

Stephen nodded and took the pills in one hand and water in the other. He took a large sip of water and then swallowed the pills down simultaneously. " _That's it._ " Tony assured. Tony lifted his hand and gently rested his palm against Stephens cheek. _"Get some rest, Stephen."_ Tony tilted his head slightly, showing of a subtle grin at Stephen. Tony got up from his seat and turned off the lights of the lamp sitting on the night stand beside him. Slowly he grabbed the doorknob and backed out the of the room. Then, closing the door to leave Stephen to rest.


	21. Chapter 21

Stephen’s eyes shot open. His eyes wide open and his body was shaking, but not moving. He felt the fear, he was sweating furiously and his heart felt like it would leap out of his chest any second. He couldn’t move. No matter how hard it was to. Stephen instantly caught onto what was happening. _Oh God_ , Stephen thought.

 

 _Sleep. Paralysis._  

 

The feint sound of a clock was heard silently ticking in his room. There was never a clock hung up on the wall in the room. The things Stephen was able to spot where hard as he was limited in movement. Suddenly, the door swung open. It was Tony. 

“Stephen.” Tony spoke firmly. Not in a way he would speak to Stephen ever. 

“You have company.” Tony drew the door more open. Two kids from each side of the door frame emerged. One was a young girl, dressed in a long blue dress with a headband. Another was a young boy, dressed in a plain red shirt and cargo shorts. They looked to be twins. Stephen knew instantly who they where. It was none other than 

 _Carl and Lucy James._  

“Remember them?” Tony asked. ”You left them inside a burning building. Remember? You couldn’t remember you let two kids go to the bathroom, and because of that they  _ **died**_.”

Tony drew a screen down that appeared up at the ceiling. There it showed the whole incident play out. The fire. From beginning. To end. 

“It’s all on you, Stephen. The death of the children. All. _On_. _**You**_. Don’t forget.” Tony’s tone more aggressive. 

“Dr. Strange. Why did you leave us alone in the bathroom? The fire. It was _so scary Dr. Strange._ ” Lucy murmured. 

“I watched my sister pass out as I tried to get the door open. I cried so hard. I thought, maybe Dr. Strange would come and save us? Why didn’t you. You never came to save us. You never came. Why?” Carl asked, tears streaming down his face. 

“Yea hear that? Stephen Vincent Strange, you here what you have done? What you took away? Just because you can’t let it stick in your mind that you left two kids alone in the bathroom? You cost kids their _lives_. Think of the grief you put in their families for losing two family members, Stephen.” 

“It’s all on you Stephen. _All on you_.” 

Tony, Carl, and Lucy began chanting. “It’s all on you, Stephen. Don’t Forget.” 

Stephen’s throat felt as there was barbwire tightly wrapped around his throat as he felt invisible tears rapidly fall from his eyes. He tried to shut his eyes but failed many times. 

“ _It’s all on you, Stephen. Don’t forget_.”

Stephen weakly shook his head. He struggled to move his body, to awaken form this horrid nightmare. It felt damn near impossible. 

“It’s all on you, Stephen. Don’t forget.” The chanting continued. 

Stephen desperately tried to move and wake himself up. It felt like a three ton boulder was lying on his body keeping him immobile. It was torture. He couldn’t close his eyes. He couldn’t wake up. He was forced to sit and listen and be reminded of the terrible incident and the lives he took. 

Stephen screamed at the top of his lungs as he finally shot up from his paralysis. He grabbed onto the nightstand next to him soo quickly he knocked the glass of water over, spilling it all over the ground. Stephen was too mortified to care about the water he had just dropped.

Stephen was incredibly soaked with sweat and felt sick to his stomach. His breathing was so heavy and irregular he felt as he would pass out any second. His body was quivering like he as been left out in the snow with nothing with shorts and a t-shirt. Lastly were his eyes, sat open just like they were in the dream. They showed true terror. 

Stephen turned his body towards the lamp and quickly gave the switch a tug, turning the lamp on. Stephen gradually made his way out the bed. It was hard to stand as his legs where so weak from all the shaking he was and is still doing. Slowly, he bent down to pick the glass up and get a drink of water. 

The glass was held tightly as he walked towards the door and down the stairs. He wanted to make sure nobody would hear him. Fortunately he wasn’t able to make it past Peter’s open door and downstairs into the kitchen. Stephen sighed a big relief that Peter didn’t wake up despite the distraught scream he let out after waking up. 

Stephen was able to quiet down his breathing and place the glass down so gently that it made no nose. He checked his surroundings to check if any one was here. He took a good look at the coffee table that sat in the living room. His drawing, it was still there. 

“ _Hey Stephen._ ” a concerned voice called out. 

Slowly, Stephen turned his head. He saw Tony in the corner of his eyes and immediately shifted forward. Just seeing a tiny bit of him drew him back to the dream. The chanting, the scene of the incident happening that he was forced to watch. The kids putting into detail on how disappointing and upset they where with him. Just as he thought things couldn't get worse. Just as he thought things could be getting better. No. He can't even get a glimpse of Tony without being taken back into that horrible dream. 

"Everything going okay?" Tony softly called out again, walking closer towards him. 

Stephen wanted to turn around. He so desperately wish he could, but if he did he would lose it. A full on panic attack would take place and it's not even Tony's fault. Thinking positively of Tony was something he was trying to do to get over this immediately. The line was crossed now, having to ignore Peter or Tony because of his own good wasn't something he thought he would ever had to face. The worry that would cause them. Ignoring Tony avoids the reminder of the dream but it also will hurt Tony, and if it hurt's Tony it hurts him. "Y-yes. I'm okay." Stephen weakly spoke up.

"Did I do something? Why aren't you looking at me?" Tony's voice grew more worried and the hurt in his voice began to grow. Tony walked up beside Stephen and tried to get a glance at him. Out of mere automatic reflex Stephen shifted his head quickly away from Tony to avoid any contact. The pain he was experiencing doing this was so immense it was almost worse then the pain he would felt if he was just reminded of what he went through. " _Hey._ " Tony's voice was breaking. 

"Hey I'm _sorry_. For whatever I did. _I'm sorry_. Can you just—can you look at _me_? Stephen _please_. I'm sorry, I don't know what I _did_ , but I'm _sorry_." 

Stephen didn't answer. 

"Was it a dream? Hey I'm here to tell you whatever I did or said in your nightmare wasn't me. Anything I said in there I don't—I _don't_ mean it at _all_. _Please, Stephen_." Tony's voice became more and more broken art. Like he was painfully holding in tears he didn't want to let go of.

"Hey. Don't start this again. Don't please I just got you to start talking to me. Stephen. _Stephen_." Tony shoved himself in front of Stephen and gently grabbed his arms and looked up at him. Hi had his head down and tears where streaming from his eyes which where closed shut. 

At this moment, ignoring Tony and hearing the hurt in his voice, it was worse than what he could possibly get being reminded of his dreams. So, Stephen gradually twitched his eyes open. Seeing Tony immediately took him back, but he hid the pain and over shadowed it. It was rough, but definitely not as rough as hearing Tony's voice break in response to Stephen ignoring him. " _Did I do something_?" Tony held Stephen's face lightly in his palms. 

Stephen shook his head in sorrow. He took Tony's hands into his and pulled them away from his face. "No." he nodded. "You didn't do anything. You're okay." Stephen comforted. 

"It looks like you're really trying to avoid looking at me." 

"It's nothing, Tony. It's nothing." Stephen assured. 

Stephen wasn't showing it. He would look off to the side, above, below, anywhere but where Tony stood. Even if he did look at Tony directly he looked away in fear of being reminded. But the pain of ignoring Tony was more immense. Stephen was stumped on where to look and what to do. Stephen knew now it was time to get help. Before, he wanted to avoid talking to anyone but Tony and Christine about his problem to avoid being called out. He feared the therapist would tell him it was his fault and put more emotional weight, but now it wasn't about him anymore. It was about Tony and Peter. Peter would catch on quickly that Stephen was trying to avoid him, and kids have no understanding of trauma. Even Peter has his limits on it. He wouldn't assume it was because of some dream Stephen had, he would just think he was mad at his dad for no reason. "It doesn't look like nothing." Tony firmly responded.

That tone. It was that tone that took him back. His heart felt like it sunk through his chest hearing him speak to him like that. "Don't talk to me like that." Stephen pleaded. " _Don't._ "

"Stephen what the hell did I do? Oh. You know what." Tony shook his head, "Did I do something in your dream? Is that why you can't look at me?"

"Could you _stop talking_ to me like that?"

"Would you cut me some slack? I'm just trying to understand what I did. You were talking to me with no problem yesterday and now I woke up to you screaming your lungs out and now you can't even look at me. It just hurts me Stephen. I went so long with you never responding to me or looking at me or saying a word to me. No body language, no **nothing** , and my fear of you turning back to that almost vegetate state is here, Stephen, and it's _real_." 

Stephen nodded, trying to hide the pain as much as possible. He let Tony's hands drop from his and started tugging at the skin between his thumbs out of stress. Tony held Stephens head with his right hand and his left gently holding onto Stephens arm. "I'm just trying to make sure you don't go back to that state." Tony's voice softened up.

"Get me a psychiatrist." Stephen's voice broke. "I know I've declined the offer many of times before but, I can't keep doing this. I need one and I need one as soon as possible." 

The seriousness of Stephen's voice made Tony recognize the hurt Stephen was feeling. Before Stephen hated when Tony brought up therapy. He would say no before he could get past that word, but now he's asking for one out of the blue. Noting the fact that not only is it just a regular therapy, it's a psychiatrist. Usually something way more advanced that involves people going through deeper and more painful mental issues and usually results in medication. Tony nodded, "Alright." Tony took a brief pause to think, "Alright, yea. I'll get you one. Now, actually. I'll be back." Tony assured before he made his way up the steps and into his room.

He grabbed his laptop that sat on top of his desk and came jogging back down the stairs. Trying to keep quiet and keep Peter asleep. "Okay." Tony huffed, taking a seat in the living room. "If you want you could maybe rest your eyes on the couch." 

Stephen lowered his head and sighed, "As tired as I am, I don't really want to go back to sleep." 

"Alright, I get that. How about you make some coffee? To keep you from falling asleep."

"I'm okay. If I fall asleep I guess I fall asleep." Stephen declined, taking a seat next to Tony. 

" If you say so, Stephen." Tony accepted.

Stephen took hold of one of the couch pillows and held up close up to his chest. He sat his head up against the sofa and rested his eyes. He made sure not to keep them closed long enough to fall asleep, but have them shut long enough to get himself together. The choice of a psychiatrist was not at all an easy one. Stephen didn't want to go to therapy only because he feared what the therapist would tell him in response to leaving the kids in the bathroom. He knew he was irresponsible and careless for leaving them there, but he didn't want to hear it from someone else's mouth. The reason why he chose the psychiatrist was because he deeply thought he would need medication to help what he was going through. Having dreams as such, random panic attacks, and not being able to hear certain noises or see certain things can't be helped by a regular therapist. 

"So, Stephen... Just out of curiosity, what made you want to get help so out of the blue? I get it could be because of your nightmare but I feel like even that wouldn't lead you to go to a psychiatrist." Tony asked. 

Stephen let his eyes open and took a big puff air. "There are many things that I'm unable to look at or hear without falling into another dumb attack. Why do I need therapy if I can just avoid looking at _flames_ or avoid hearing children screaming, sirens, or anything I heard or saw during the accident."

Tony nodded in understatement, "Alright I get that. So it isn't about the dream then? Don't get me wrong I am more then overjoyed to see you asked for help. Just, so _so_ excited that you asked I'm smiling just thinking about you getting better from the psychiatrist. I'm just curious on why the sudden jump to get help." 

"Think about it, Tony." Stephen gently told him, going back to resting his eyes.

 _Think about it, Tony._ That kept repeating in Tony's mind. Think about what? It can't possibly be his dream or the fact he can't hear or see certain stuff. It never bothered him enough to seek help. The dream could be a reason, but at the same time he tried to take his own life and that alone didn't urge him to seek help. He tried thinking hard to figure out why. Why such a miracle occurred. He couldn't think of why. Nothing seemed to click like it usually would have. "I'm honestly clueless, Stephen." Tony admitted.

"Well." Stephen paused and fixed himself so that he faced Tony. He didn't keep eye contact thought. "Imagine not being able to comfortably look at Peter because of a dream you had. Not being able to look at someone you love with all you heart because it brings negative thoughts is something you would want to get fixed as soon as possible. Right?" Stephen ended with short smile. Not only through his lips, but his eyes too. 

Tony glanced up at Stephen in awe. To hear that sentence exit his mouth made his heart melt. All of the pain Stephen is going through and still managed to show love. Love really shows when its given off by someone who thinks he doesn't even deserve it. To think Stephen changed his mind about getting help so quickly for him made him feel special and happy at the same time. To know that Stephen is going to get better made him smile, but what made his heart jump was the fact that Stephen openly admitted to loving him. " _Wow._ " Tony whispered. 

Tony laid his hand gently on top of Stephens left cheek. He noticed how he could barely keep his eyes open. "You look tired, Stephen." 

Stephen closed his eyes and held onto Tony's hand, "I am." He responded deeply.

"Get some rest, Stephen. I'll be right here." Tony assured. 

Stephen thought twice about falling asleep. He was afraid to have another dream as such, but he wasn't lying down on a bed this time so he thought the chances of having sleep paralysis again where low. " _Okay._ " Stephen said so silently it was nearly inaudible. As Stephen gradually closed his eyes Tony lifted his hand away from his face to allow him to rest _peacefully_.  


	22. Chapter 22

Stephen awoken to the sound of dishes clinging next to one another and the sound of running water. That sleep was the best one he had in a while. This time, he didn't have a nightmare or a dream at that. Stephen couldn't remember anything he dreamt about. The sleep was peaceful despite him sleeping in a rather uncomfortable position on the couch.

Very slowly Stephen opened his eyes and Saw Tony washing dishes and Christine sitting on the couch besides him. Christine almost instantly realized he was awake even before he could fully open his eyes. "Hey look who's awake! I was just about to wake you up too! Did you sleep good?" Christine sparked with joy.

"Um," Stephen paused trying to collect himself. He wasn't usually energetic when he woke up first thing. Also he wondered what Christine was doing here in the first place. "What are you... doing here?" Stephen questioned, lifting him self up onto the couch.

"I'm here to babysit Peter when he gets home since you guys will be gone when he gets home. I feel honored that he chose me to babysit Peter anyways!" Christine smiled with pure excitement.

"I just chose you because everyone else I called was busy." Tony admitted.

Christine rolled her eyes and faced Stephen again, " _That guy am I right?_ " She whispered. "Anyways. It's nice to see you get some rest! You know it's 2:22 right now and your appointment is at 3:30. Tony's such a nice guy he let you sleep in to the very last minute. Well not exactly very last but you know what I mean right? Anyways did you sleep good?"

Christine's energy wasn't matching Stephens. Usually he would be able to make out what she says but waking literally seconds ago it wasn't easy. She was talking so quick and she was switching in between topics so fast he couldn't possible keep up. " _What...?_ I just woke up I can't understand what you're saying, Christine." Stephen mumbled, rubbing his eyes. 

"Oh! Yea, sorry. You know me, always talking. I'm just always excited to see you Stephen." Christine lowered her voice and pat Stephen on the arm.

”I know I know,” Stephen smiled back at her. 

“Look at you!” Christine’s eyes lit up with joy. Seeing Stephen smile after knowing all the stuff he’s been through really made her feel some type of way. "You're doing so great, Stephen." 

Stephen rested against the couch, eyes half opened as he threw out another smile, this time it was more smaller as he was still tired from just waking up. His eyelids where heavy, he didn't know what time he woke up last night so he didn't know how many hours of sleep he got. What he does know is that it's more than he originally gets, but he was still exhausted. "Why don't we get you some coffee?" Christine offered, sliding her fingers softly across Stephens hair. 

Stephen nodded his head whilst slowly blinking his eye. "I'm really trying my best to be awake." Stephen groaned. Then, just seconds after he mumbled that, he was fast asleep. Head plumped up against the couch and eyes closed shut. Christine looked at Stephen then glanced back at Tony, " _Should I wake him up or...?_ " Christine whispered.

Tony shook his head, "Let him get some extra rest in. I'll wake him up when his coffee is done."

"Okay," Christine accepted. Slowly, she got up from the couch. So slow to ensure Stephen doesn't wake up. She then made her way towards the island in the kitchen and took seat. "You're right. Stephen is doing better. I can tell even though you've been with him during this dark time longer then I have. It's nice to see him that way after what happened." 

Tony smiled and started up the coffee maker. "Yea. Now if you where me, to see him the way he is now is breathtaking. I actually never though he would get better because all he used to do was sit on the couch and think. He wouldn't speak, move, no physical or verbal body language. There was only so much you could do with someone like that you know? So to see him communicate and ask for help really does put a smile on my face."

" _Wow._ " Christine whispered, her eyes glistening with joy. "You must be _incredibly_ special, Tony."

Tony jotted his focus to the woman. That statement alone through him in for a loop. Special? Him? What was special so special about him? "And I know what you're thinking. 'What's so special about me? How am I special?" blah blah. Look. What I am trying to say is Stephen wouldn't just get up and ask for help so quickly. Let me tell you, when he got in the car accident that destroyed his hands he didn't fully recover emotionally until _4_ years after the event. That's how long he waited 'till he finally accepted my offer of paying for a therapist to help him recover emotionally. The incident happened, what, a few weeks ago? And he is _now_ asking for help?" Christine stopped her ongoing ramble to look Tony in the eyes.

"How do you feel about Stephen, Tony? Honestly." Christine softly questioned. 

Tony peered up at her but didn't move his head. He took a deep breath and sighed, taking a seat in front of Christine at the island. "My honest feelings? Christine." Tony stopped to look and make sure Stephen was fast asleep. "I care a lot about him, more than I really should. I don't know what's so special about him that makes me obligated to do absolutely anything for him, but something tells me it may be because of how he treated me back when I was first taking Peter to his after school. It was maybe the second or third day where something in me clicked about him. Then after the incident, to see what I saw..." Tony's voice began to break as he remembered the incident where he pulled up on Stephen almost taking his own life. It was a hard scene to go back to. Tears started to form and his throat became tight as he tried to hold them back.

"Saw...?" Christine continued.

"I'd rather not dwell on it." Tony looked up and smiled, wiping away a single tear. "But, he's asked for help and his appointment is an hour from now. He's doing so much better and that's all I care about and need to focus on. Stephen is really... He's really something else. Something special you know? He's doing so much better. I wish I could tell him how much I cared. Truly." 

Christine raised her eyebrows in shock and sat up straight. She closed her eyes slowly and nodded, "You love him, Tony." 

Tony scratched his head and smiled. "You know what, Christine. I do. I really do. I wish he would know that too." 

Christine nodded her head slowly, "I think he does know. He got that therapy not only for his benefit, but for yours too. He probably realized that him sitting and not eating or sleeping or responding was making you upset and wanted to get help so he felt better and if he felt better you felt better."

Tony chuckled, "You're right actually. I mean not 100% but you get the idea." 

"I know I am. I know who Stephen is, and when he truly loves someone there is nothing you could possibly name that he wouldn't do for them. Getting help is one of them." 

Tony smiled then faded back into a neutral emotion. "I wish I could tell him." 

Christine smiled, "When are Stephens therapy days?" 

"Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday." 

"How about you take him out tomorrow. I don't work and I can babysit Peter again. Take him out and tell him how you feel about him there." Christine offered.

"I don't know, Christine. Getting him to go out is really rough—"

"It wont be, I promise. Ask him and I know he would be more than happy to go out and spend time with you alone." Christine smiled.

Tony smiled back at her. He had some rough times getting Stephen out the house before, but maybe Christine was right here. Especially after what he said last night. Taking Stephen out on a supposed date made him burst with joy at just the thought. Many ideas of where he was going to take him spilled out in his mind. "Thank you, Christine." Tony smiled as he walked over to the coffee maker to grab Stephens coffee.

Tony grabbed a container of creamer and made his way to Stephen who was fast asleep. Quietly he placed the coffee and creamer down on top of the coffee table and bent over in front of Stephen. His hand softly put onto his shoulder and continued to shake him gently to wake him up. "Hey Stephen, I let you sleep while your coffee was being made but you _really_ have to get up now."

" _Okay Okay I'm up I'm up,_ " Stephen mumbled as he jolted up from his sleep. 

"Oh I didn't mean to wake you up so suddenly—"

"No no you're okay." Stephen assured, patting Tony's hand.  

 Tony grinned, "Good." He paused to look at his watch, "It's 2:31 now, drink your coffee and then you can get ready." 

Stephen nodded tiredly and grabbed his coffee. Tony took a seat on the couch next to him and took a deep breath as he rested his eyes. Things were getting better. Not just for Stephen, but for him too. It showed tremendously. The atmosphere of the house was lifting now that Stephen has been recovering. Slowly, but surely. The therapist on the other hand is also a big step. Tony looked over at Stephen and caught his eye almost instantly. Stephen took one big sip from his coffee and gulped it down. "I'm going to go and get ready." Stephen said.

"Alright. You go do that." Tony smiled. 

——————

Stephen made his way down the steps after just finishing getting himself ready and freshened up. It felt nice since he hadn't remembered the last time he took care of his hygiene as such. With the way his mental state was it felt impossible to just get up and shower. Tony was already up and ready with his keys in his hands. He smiled as he saw Stephen walk down the steps, he looked nice. "You look great! Ready?" Tony grinned.

He nodded, "Yea." 

Tony twisted the door knob and opened the door. He turned back towards Christine and waved. "Thank you again for babysitting!" Tony thanked.

"You're welcome!" Christine shouted quick before the door shut behind them. Making their way to the psychiatrist. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehhh this was super hard to write cus i am so sick hrwenrekl so sorry if next chapter isnt up on time <.>
> 
> Tumblr: lezbyen


	23. Chapter 23

They were waiting. Every second Stephen wasn't called to go see his psychiatrist made him more and more anxious. Tony and him had arrived at the office just a few minutes too early, but now it's way past the time he was supposed to be called. His heart was racing and his leg was bouncing. He tried to keep his nervousness to himself and was doing a somewhat good job so far. Tony hadn't noticed he was nervous yet and that's all that mattered.

Tony shifted his arm and pulled his sleeve up to take a look at the time. "Yeesh, it's about 15 minutes overdue. Not to be impatient but what's taking them so long." Tony mumbled.

Stephen didn't want to give out a verbal response in fear that he might show that he was nervous through his voice, so he nodded. Unfortunately his goal of trying to hide his nervousness quickly died as Tony knew almost instantly that something was up because he didn't respond verbally. He rested his palm on Stephens arm, "You're gonna be alright, Stephen." Tony comforted. Stephen turned his head to Tony and nodded with his eyes closed shut. "I'm alright." he assured, patting Tony on his hand.

"Stephen Strange?" A door flew wide open and a woman with a notepad in her arms stepped out.

Nervous, Stephen stepped up and nodded. "Oh hello Stephen! I'm Dr. Oliver Lee, nice to meet you!" The psychiatrist smiled as she closed the door behind him. "Alright so you can sit anywhere that makes you comfortable."

"I'll just sit here." Stephen responded, choosing a small sized sofa with a small table on the side.

"Alright, I'll sit here." Oliver took a seat in a chair not too far in front of Stephen. She took a pen from a pocket in her jacket and clicked it. "Alright So... When Tony. Right? Tony Stark is your friend right?" 

Stephen nodded.

"Wow! That's amazing. Anyways. Tony signed you up for this thing right? He told me he thinks you may have PTSD and clinical depression because of a past event that happened. To avoid pressure I'm not going to ask for detailed information about the event that may have caused your potential mental illnesses but can you tell me why Tony would think that?" Oliver asked.

Stephen sighed nervously. He squeezed his fingers and avoided eye contact of the psychiatrist. He already felt himself falling. The anxiety he was experiencing was through the roof. Every second of silence made him regret his decision on asking for help. "Take your time sweetie. You aren't being rushed." the psychiatrist comforted. 

"I'm sorry I just—I cant—what are you asking me?" Stephen stammered.

"My apologies, that was too much of a broad question for answering. Lets dial it down to this. Are there any particular things or sounds you are unable to hear without falling into a panic attack. You don't have to tell me, you can just answer yes or no—"

"Yes." Stephen cut off. 

"Okay..." Dr.Lee paused, scribbling down notes onto the paper on her notepad. "So... I know I told you that you don't have to tell me what makes you fall into said attacks, but I would just like to know to help—"

" _Yes._ " Stephen was about to fall into another episode now and there was nothing stopping it. He held his head down and clenched his eyes closed to stop tears from falling. When Oliver asked about that he thought of everything at once which took him back to watching the incident. It was constantly replying in his mind and it was bringing him to hell. 

"Hey _hey_ it's alright. That was a bad decision on my end. Breath Stephen. _Breath_." Oliver gently spoke, trying to calm him out of his panic attack. "Hey Stephen. Look up. Look at me and breath." 

Slowly Stephen rose up and sat semi-up in his seat. Still looking at the floor eyes widened with terror. He took deep breaths in and out, trying the breathing technique Tony taught him, but the one time he sincerely needed it, it failed to work. Now Stephen was freaking out. He didn't want to have something like this happen in public. Yes it was in a psychiatrists room but he still felt ashamed and embarrassed.

"Hey Stephen, do you have a partner? What about kids? Or if you don't have any kids do you want any?" Oliver asked trying to distract Stephen from his episode. 

Stephen closed his eyes and tried the breathing technique again. Four in, hold four, out four. Four in, hold four, out four. The breathing method worked enough for his breathing to not be violent and dangerously irregular. Stephen sat up in the sofa. Now he was sitting up 100%. But tears where still coming and his body was still trembling. " _Tony._ " 

"Stark?"

Stephen nodded.

"Tell me about him, Stephen." Oliver softly spoke. 

Stephen sat back in the sofa and glanced up at the ceiling while tears fell from his eyes. He rubbed his face with his quivering hands and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's broad." Stephen said throwing out a fake smile. 

"Alright. Would it make this experience easier if we brought him here to help answer questions that are tough for you to answer?" Oliver offered. 

Stephen sighed and gently nodded. "You know what _yea._ _Yea that would make this a lot easier._ " he huffed.

Oliver smiled, "Okay. I'll be right back. I'll be quick." she said. She stood up from her seat with her notepad in hand and made her way to the entrance door. Oliver twisted the door knob and looked out into the waiting room. Instantly she could spot Tony who was knocked out leaning up against the seat sitting next to him. "Uh... Tony Stark?" Oliver called out.

Tony's body jerked awake to the sound of his name being called. "Huh? Oh yea that's. Me I am Tony Stark. Yes? Hello?" Tony called out clearly confused. 

Oliver waved her hand and smiled. "Over here!" She signaled. 

"Oh!" Tony jumped up. Oliver slowly but quietly closed the door whilst Tony made his way up towards her. "So sorry about that. I just didn't expect to be called up." 

"That's alright. I'm calling you because Stephen is having a hard time talking and answering anything I ask and I was wondering if you could maybe be in the room with us and help him answer some questions that are just a bit too hard for him to respond to?" Oliver asked.

"Oh! Yes I can do that! Sure thing. Absolutely I don't mind that at all." Tony accepted. 

Oliver twisted the doorknob and opened the door back up, "Awesome!" She cheered silently. Oliver allowed Tony into the room first then herself. In the meantime, Tony took a glance over at Stephen. Instantly his heart tore apart. His emotion went from content to distraught in seconds seeing Stephen so upset. His eyes was heavily red from crying and his body looked as if it was shaking up. It looked like he had hair glued to his head because of the amount of sweat he was producing. "Hello, Stephen. Tony's here." Oliver stated, walking towards him with Tony by her side. 

While Oliver went to take a seat, Tony walked in front of Stephen and could barely look at him. To see him this way gave him physical pain in the chest. Tony pulled up a chair and sat down besides Stephen. "What happened..?"

Oliver sighed, putting her notepad down on the table besides her, "He had a panic attack. It stressed him too much when I asked even the simplest of questions. Poor thing. But hopefully you can help us out and give me some answers so I can give the proper medication or support he will need. So in order to do such..." Oliver got up and went over to a desk and grabbed a pair of headphones. 

"These are noise cancelling. I use them on patients just like Stephen." Oliver whispered making her way towards Stephen. "Hey dear. Put these on. Tony and I are going to talk some things through that you may not want to hear. Also here is this." She sat down an ipod onto the table that stood next to the sofa Stephen was in. "There isn't a large selection, but the music on here is supposed to help and relax you." 

Stephen nodded and took the headphones into his hands and gently placed them on his head and then over his ears. "That should be good." Oliver stated, sitting back down in her chair and grabbing her notepad. "Alright, Tony Stark, I've got an abundant of questions for you but I am going to try and be quick as possible as Stephen isn't in a good state right now and don't want to keep him waiting. First off, in the notes section when you signed up for me, what makes you think Stephen may have PTSD. Besides the obvious panic attack he had just a few moments ago." 

"Well," Tony paused to think, "It's the panic attacks that's one thing. But they always seem to happened after a certain something is heard or seen. I remember he went to go and make tea and had one because he saw the fire. Another time was when I got pulled over for speeding and he had more of a silent one because of the sound of the police siren. That's all I know, I don't think I remember him telling me any of the stuff he was sensitive to." 

"Mhm..." the psychiatrist nodded in understanding as she wrote down notes rapidly in her notepad. "So Tony, do you know what happened exactly in the incident?" 

"I know a great bunch, but the only one who truly knows would be the kids who where there and Stephen, and all the kids there where all under the age of 7 and maybe one 8 year old. All I know is that a fire started and he left──well no not left. He was so focused on getting the kids he could see out of the building the fact that he had let two kids use the bathroom prior to the fire completely left his head. He blames himself for the death of them. I can't imagine the amount of weight that's being put onto him."

Oliver nodded as she continued to write down on her notepad. "Kids you said? Did he run a daycare or...?"

"An after school." Tony corrected. "He ran an after school for artistic kids that want to draw and you know stuff like that." 

"Wow." Oliver continued on taking notes, "So, from what I am getting, I do believe Stephen is suffering from acute PTSD. Acute PTSD usually stems from if the victim is suffering from symptoms of said PTSD within a month of the traumatic event. After 3 months if Stephen is still suffering and having those constant panic attacks then he would have what he call chronic PTSD and would need to be given a PTSD emotional support service dog. But as of now I'm going to prescribe him with an SSRI drug called Paxeva which is a medication to help PTSD victims and help them with the occurring panic attacks." 

"Oh, okay. When and where do I get the medication?" Tony asked. 

"The next time Stephen comes to visit it should be ready." Oliver smiled. Oliver stood up and stretched her back and put her hand out for a handshake. "Alright you and Stephen should be ready to go! And make sure Stephen gets some rest, he's had it rough today." Oliver asked, removing the headphones from Stephens ears. 

"Oh. Are we leaving?" Stephen asked tiredly. 

"Yea I'll talk about it when we go home." Tony smiled, patting Stephen on the back. 

Oliver lead the two out of the room and into the waiting room, then into the front desk. "It was nice talking to the both of you. Excited to see you guys again Sunday!" Oliver waved. 

When Stephen stepped out from those two doors it felt like freedom. It was nice to have fresh air, the atmosphere and air quality inside a room where you just had a panic attack wasn't the best one. "The way you looked in that room, Stephen." Tony spoke. 

Stephen looked down at Tony, then back up. "Hm?" He mumbled softly. 

"Are you okay? You're alright now right?" Tony asked. Stephen could hear the worried tone in his voice. 

"I'm okay, Tony." Stephen comforted. 

Tony sighed and unlocked the car. Quickly he stepped in and closed the door behind him. "You sure, Stephen. I didn't see the panic attack go down but the way it left you just... Okay okay I'm sorry. I'm just worrying too much. I care so much about you and seeing you that way... Stephen it  _hurt._ " At this moment Tony's heart burst. He couldn't keep in the tears any longer. His hands where held firmly around on the steering wheel. 

"Hey are you crying? Tony. _Tony-_ "

"I am seriously just hoping that this therapist can help you. I can't look at you the way you are and see you have these constant panic attacks or—or you waking up in the middle of the night because you had a bad dream or something there is only so much I can do. I am not enough to help and I want to be enough because Stephen I..." Tony lowered his head grabbing onto the wheel tighter. He looked back up with a pool of tears in his eyes, " _I.... **Love** you Stephen."_  Tony turned to hold Stephens face gently in his palms. "Christine wanted me to take you out and tell everything I'm about to say here to you there but I can't keep it in much longer."

Tony let his hands drop down and held Stephens hands close to him. "The instant I meant you something clicked. I don't go around telling people my identity like that. Something in me just knew, I can trust this man. I don't know, but whatever the hell that feeling was it sure as hell grew each and every day I took Peter to the after school. Then, when I saved you from taking your life, the spark in me grew _exponentially._ It grew because I wanted to help you, and only just recently am I realizing I don't want to help you just to help you, it's because Stephen the love I have for you is so immense, and too see that I'm just. I'm just not  _enough. I'm not enough I'm—"_ Tony shot up as he suddenly felt Stephens soft lips against his. His eyes shot open then relaxed seconds after. Stephen shaped his palms around Tony's face, holding it gently. " _I needed this_ _,_ " Tony mumbled onto Stephens lips.

Stephen released only to pull back in. Tony's lips where soft and smooth and the love he had for him made him not want to stop touching his lips up to Tony's. Feeling his hair slip in between his fingers and Tony gently pushing harder up against him was perfect. A moment in his life he never thought he would be able to truly experience. Slowly Stephen let his lips disconnect. Looking Tony in the eyes he wiped the tears still left around his eyes. "You're _more_ than enough, Tony." Stephen paused and took sighed,

"I got this therapy for the _both_ of us, Tony. I can't keep hurting like this any longer, and the hurt was spreading to you. I can't do that to you." Stephen lowered Tony's head and placed a gentle kiss on his head. "I love you just as much as you do me. It may not look like it but ever since you saved my life I have been more appreciative of life and thankful that you saved me, because if you hadn't who would be here with you?" Stephen smiled. 

Before sitting back in his seat, Stephen gave Tony a loving but quick kiss on the lips. Tony closed his eyes and smiled. Together they turned in their seats and Tony insert the keys and began the engine. Tony sat back and looked at Stephen, "Get some rest, Stephen." he softly spoke.

Stephen nodded and laid up against the car door and closed rested his eyes. Tony put the car in reverse and backed out the parking spot and was now on his way back home.


	24. Chapter 24

Tony took his keys and unlocked the front door. He twisted the handle and walked in to see Christine and Peter laying out on the couch watching Aladdin. Tony smiled as he closed the door behind Stephen. "Hey daddy and Dr. Strange!" Peter greeted, hoping off from the couch and running up to them. Tony bent down and lifted his son up onto his arm. "Hey Pete, how was Christine?"

"It was so awesome! She's the best! She's so fun! We drew and did something called origami and then we played hide and seek and then we took Dragon out for a walk and then we sat down and started to watch Aladdin!"

"Oh alright! That sounds fun," Tony grinned, once at Peter, then at Christine. "Thank you again for babysitting, especially with no charge."

"Oh oh it's fine! I mean why not? I don't have anything better to do." Christine smiled.

Peter's emotion quickly shifted to sad. He slowly looked over at his father with the saddened expression, "Does Christine have to leave _now_?" Peter teared up. 

"Um..." Tony trailed off as he glanced up at Stephen who looked mentally and physically drained. The day he had was terribly stressful and all he wanted to do was lay down. Tony had to think about it. Yes Stephen was best friends with Christine, but he was _tired_. He didn't want to be bothered at all. Christine instantly noticed Stephen wasn't himself when he walked in. She couldn't show it of course to not worry Peter or make a scene, but she did realize it and it broke her heart. "I have work in the morning very early, Peter. So I'm going to have to leave now to get the rest I need." Christine said, placing her hand onto Peter's hair.

Peter laid his head onto Tony's chest and sighed, "What about the movie?"

"We can finish if when I babysit you next time. Or if I come to visit. Okay? But before I leave I need to talk to Tony about some adult stuff." Christine looked up at Tony who threw his head back slightly in confusion. That's when she nodded her head towards Stephen to give out the hint. 

"Oh... Yea! It's gonna be quick, Pete." Tony assured, setting Peter back down.

Peter nodded and walked over to the couch and lied back down and continued watching the movie. As soon as Peter got far enough Christine looked up at Stephen. His eyes seemed to be drooping and it was hard for him to keep them open. His eyes where also a light red, like he has just got done crying. The women lifted her hand and gently held it against Stephens cheek, "What happened to him...?" Christine asked softly.  

Tony looked up at Stephen and put his hand onto his back, gently rubbing it in circles. "He had it rough at the therapist office. Maybe even rougher the drive home. He's exhausted." Tony sighed. 

"What happened on the way home?" 

Tony shook his head and waved his hand to not discuss it. Christine took the hint and looked back up to Stephen. She dropped her hand gently down to Stephens shoulder, "That's alright." She mumbled. 

"Stephen," Tony called, his voice tender and soft. Slowly Stephen turned his head to Tony, his eye's barely opened. "How about you go change and lie down. Alright?" Tony smiled in attempt to cheer him up, but Stephen just closed his eyes and sighed then proceeded to make his way upstairs. Tony's smile instantly vanished as his heart was speared at the reaction Stephen gave him. "It hurts to see him like that, Tony. I know." Christine comforted. "Now that he's gone, what happened?" 

"Uhm," Tony stammered, fidgeting with his fingers, "It was just another panic attack. We ran into an accident and traffic got completely stopped because of how bad it was. I'm guess all of the noises and cars and you know stuff like that set him off. He had a panic attack twice in one day but the one in the therapists office must have been terrible. I wasn't there to see it but how it left him I could tell it was bad. Poor Stephen." Tony ran his hands through his hair rapidly due to the built of stress. "I just wish he could get a break." 

"I know I know, but he's going to be okay. I promise you."

Tony threw on a fake smile and nodded, "Yea." He scoffed. 

Christine nodded back at him with a grin. "Alright well, that's it for me!" Christine raised her voice as she turned back to Peter. "I had so much fun here with you, Peter! I'm excited to come back!" Christine waved as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

"Bye, Christine!" Peter called out before Christine shut the door and was off. 

Tony looked at his watch, it was already 8:34. The traffic really held them back for a while. "It's bed time you know, Peter." 

Peter sat up on the couch and stretched out his back. "Yea I know..." His words beginning to slur showing off his tiredness.

"Did Christine make you dinner? If not you can stay up while I make it." Tony offered.

Peter shook his head, "Mm, she made me dinosaur nuggets and fries so I'm okay. I'm tired anyways." Peter took the remote and shut the TV off. Tired, he walked over to Tony and grabbed his hand. "You can put me to sleep?" Peter asked.

"Yea. I'll do that." Tony smiled. Together, they walked up the stairs slowly and walked into Peter's room. The boy let his hand go from his fathers and walked over to his bed. He removed the covers and slid under. Tony waited by the door as Peter got in and got comfortable. "That good?" Tony asked.

"Mhm." Peter mumbled. 

Peter was acting different. Tony knew this as soon as he was so quick to go to bed. He is never usually that quick to go to sleep no matter how tired he was. He was dismissive and wasn't talking much like he usually did. It deeply concerned him. To see his son like that made him worried like something had happened or he said something wrong. Tony left the doorway and sat next to Peter on his bedside. He took his hand and ran it through his sons hair, "Is something bothering you, Peter?" Tony asked. 

"I'm just a bit sad Christine had to leave and we couldn't finish the movie." Peter mumbled, sinking further into his covers. 

"I'm sorry, Peter. She had work very early tomorrow and had to leave to get some rest." 

Peter kept in place and looked at his father, then back down in front of him. "Okay..." He sighed. "I love you, dad." said Peter, patting his dads arm. "And tell Dr. Strange that I love him too." Peter turned over to turn his lamp light off then got underneath the covers and proceeded to fall asleep. Tony sat a little while then began to get up from the bed and exit the room. Tony took a deep breath, so much was going on, the two people he cared about the most where both feeling down emotionally. 

Tony shook his head and went to Stephens room. Gently placing his hand onto the doorknob, he held his ear against the door and knocked, "Hey Stephen, you still up?" Tony called out. 

"Yes." He heard Stephen answered, he sounded exhausted. Tony opened the door slowly and saw Stephen sitting up in bed with the night lamp on his nightstand turned on. Stephen sat up against the bed, head titled up at the ceiling and eyes closed. Tony titled his head in sorrow. Seeing him like this, it put so much weight onto him. "How are you holding up, Stephen." Tony asked, making his way to his bed. 

Stephen moved his head to direct his focus to Tony. Pitifully, he closed his eyes and sighed, "Not too great." he mumbled. 

"Do you think you need a sleeping pill for tonight? To get some rest." Tony offered. 

Stephen heard the worry build up in Tony's voice, and him worrying about him was the last thing he wanted. Especially the way he broke down in the car after keeping what he had inside for so long. The emotion Tony pulled, his voice shaking and breaking as he spat out his feelings towards Stephen and the worry he goes through a daily basis, watching the tears stream down his eyes like they would never stop. It was something he never wanted to have to see again. So, to avoid and further worrying, Stephen sat up from the bed and leaned over to be closer to Tony. "I'm gonna be alright." Stephen smiled softly. 

Stephen tilted his head left and took his left hand to rest it upon Tony's cheek. As Stephens palm closed onto his cheek, Tony felt warm. It was an amazing feeling, he felt loved. He let his head rest onto Stephens palm and smiled. "That's good." Tony rested his eyes and smiled, " _That's good._ " Tony's happy expression didn't last long, his eyebrows burrowed and sighed. "Hey I'm sorry about what happened on the way home—" 

"You're okay. It's okay, Tony. You had nothing to do with it. Why are you always so hard on yourself? You didn't cause the accident." Stephen asked, his smile now gone. 

"I know, I know." Tony took Stephens hand from his check and held it close to his chest. "I'm going to let you go now," Tony smiled. He got up from the bed and walked up closer to him. "You're exhausted, aren't you?" 

Stephen closed his eyes and sighed. He laid himself back onto the bed frame and moaned, "I am..." he mumbled. 

Tony grinned, "Go to sleep, Stephen." he chuckled, running his fingers through Stephens hair. 

Stephen smiled softly as he slid down in the bed and nudged his body underneath the covers. Tony put his hand onto the string of the lamp, then it hit him. "Oh! Peter." Tony smiled down at him, "Peter said he loves you." 

" _Seriously?_ " Stephen asked, his voice becoming lighter in tone to show how shocking to know Peter said that was.

"Yes seriously! I wouldn't just make it up." Tony chuckled. 

Stephen looked up in awe, " _Wow._ " He gasped, "Tell him I love him too." Stephen turned his head to meet Tony's focus. His right arm rose from the covers and softly held onto Tony's hand, " _And you too._ " 

Tony gushed. He held his right hand over his heart and smiled down at Stephen. Both of the two where giving each other loving looks. Their eyes both filled with so much appreciation and joy to just be looking at the one they love. Stephen was doing all right. The quest to keep Tony from worrying himself to sleep was working perfectly. How hard it was to fake his mood was immense, but seeing the way Tony is and how happy he is to see him happy was rewarding. Tony took his right hand and clasped it over Stephens, running his thumb along his many fingers. "I love you too," Tony smiled. Tony removed his hands from Stephens and placed them back up on the string of the lamp. "Goodnight, Stephen." he gently whispered, clicking the string and cutting off the light. 

Tony walked over towards the door and closed it right behind him. This left Stephen to go back. To go back to the mood he was forever in. Stephen was terrified to go back to sleep, he didn't want another dream like the night before. The psychiatrist visit was too stressful to even bring it up. It was irritating because that very reason was the only reason why he wanted help and didn't even get it resolved. Unfortunately, he has to sleep. He couldn't stay up all night, Tony would guarantee notice. So, trembling with fear of having another painful nightmare, Stephen rolled over and closed his eyes. It was only minutes later 'till he finally began his slumber.


	25. Chapter 25

_No sleep._

_Only the repetitive shutting and opening of the eyes._

_Tossing and turning all night for hours._

_Sweating because of the immense stress of trying to fall asleep._

Stephen couldn't. There was no way. He expected to fall easily since he had been drained from the attack on the way home, he thought wrong. It hit him around 3:00 that there was no way he was going to be able to fall asleep. Now he was worrying; _What am I gonna say to Tony? How am I going to back up the fact that I didn't get a wink of sleep?_

Stephen rose up from the bed and sat up against the bed frame. He was already irritated, a common side affect of sleep deprivation. He decided to take a look at himself in the mirror and see if it was obvious that he didn't get any rest. He lifted himself from the bed and and stopped halfway to take a breather. Then he continued on walking towards the bathroom door in his room and twisted the knob. The door made a loud creak as it opened indicating this bathroom was more than likely not used until Stephen showed up. 

The mirror was the first thing you could see when you opened the door, which meant Stephen saw himself immediately as when the door was opened; it was immensely evident that he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep the night before. He shut the door and leaned up against it trying to think of what he's going to say to Tony. 

_"Bags don't go away just like that Tony." "Yea but neither do they get worse from sleeping, Stephen."_

_"I just slept maybe 4 or 5 hours, it's alright-" "I asked if you needed a sleeping pill, why didn't you take one?"_

_"There's nothing to worry about," "There **is** something to worry about. You haven't gotten a good nights rest in a while."_

None of his options seem to work. Plus the fact that he had gotten no rest thinking about anything was hard to do because his mind wasn't in the right place. He knew he had to face Tony sooner or later but in the matter of time he couldn't think of an excuse. Stressed, Stephen sunk to the floor and sat down. Then a tiny knock was heard from his door followed by a tiny voice. "Dr.Strange, are you up?" Peter called out. 

Stephen sighed and threw his head back, "Yes." He answered, his voice cracking. 

Stephen grabbed onto the doorknob of his bathroom door and hoisted himself up. He fixed up his hair and made his way to the entrance door of his room. Twisting the door knob he opened the door and saw Peter in front of his door with his bookbag on. "Hey, Peter. Do you need something?" Stephen asked. 

"I just wanted to say bye before I left. Also did daddy tell you what I said yesterday?" 

"That you loved me? I didn't believe him when he told me." Stephen smiled, bending down to look at Peter face to face.

"Oh well I mean it." Peter smiled and wrapped his arms around Stephens neck, giving him a tight hug. "Oh! And by the way I-"

" ** _Peter your bus is here!!_** " Tony yelled from downstairs. 

"Oh!! Okay. I gotta go bye!" Peter waved then turned around to start running down the stairs and out the door. 

As Stephen watched Peter almost trip down the stairs trying to not miss his bus, he realized now Tony is aware that he's awake. He's going to have to handle the situation of no sleeping now and he can't wait. Worried, Stephen bounced back up and looked at the steps leading towards downstairs. He hesitated at first, but then began walking down when he realized there was no point in stalling. 

When he stepped down the final step he was met up with Tony who was washing dishes in the kitchen. Without taking his eyes off the dishes and smiled and greeted Stephen. "You're up early. Good morning!" Tony grinned. 

"Yea. Good morning." Stephen grunted, sitting down in the dinning room. 

Tony instantly caught on. The tony Stephen delivered to him in that response, he sounded tired. _No, exhausted_. Tony turned the water off and placed the last dish onto the drying rack. He dried his hands off with the towel that was draped over the oven handle and exit the kitchen and entered the dining room. Tony walked up beside Stephen and took a seat. "Hey," He gently called out. "How did you sleep last night?" 

Stephens mind went blank. He didn't know how to answer and every second he wasn't replying it was more evident that he didn't get any sleep. Tony lowered his head too get a good look at Stephen. Tired was the only way to explain how he looked. "Did you get _any_ sleep last night..?" Tony's voice lowered, almost inaudible. Stephen hearing his voice get to that hurt him, but there wasn't anything he could say, nothing but the truth. 

Tony sat back and tugged the skin between his thumb and index finger. His eyes began to water and he tried to focus on other things to not let all of the built up tears go. " _Could you answer, Stephen._ " Tony pleaded with a quivery voice. 

Stephen still didn't respond. He was thinking of what to say and Tony was giving him such little time to think. His eyes where closed and he fiddled with his thumbs as he was thinking of what to say. Unfortunately the truth was easier to spit out then thinking of a lie. "I got sleep," Stephen finally responded. 

Tony sighed and lowered his head, "You didn't." Tony mumbled. "You didn't and I can _tell_ you didn't." 

Stephen sighed. He was caught, and there wasn't anything he could say to back it up. "Stephen why don't you go back to sleep. It's still pretty early." Tony suggested.

Stephen shook his and and rested it on top of his right palm. "Why not?" Tony asked, moving closer up to him. "Even if it's just one hour...?"

"No, Tony. There isn't a point." Stephen refused once more. 

"Stephen I think you should try to get some sleep—"

"There is NO POINT, TONY!" Stephen snapped. He turned to look at Tony, his eyebrows burrowed and his eyes showing anger. "Can't you just leave it at that?" he ended. 

The sudden change of tone in Stephen made him fall back in his seat. His heart began to race at the shock of how he responded to him. By how Stephen had been treating Tony this type of behavior was completely unnatural. It made Tony nervous, although he knew Stephen would never take his anger out physically, it was what he would say verbally. Fearing that what comes out of his mouth isn't something he meant. "Okay. I'm Sorry." Tony apologized.  

Tony kept his distance by moving his chair a few inches away from Stephen. He wanted to say something but nothing came to mind. He continued tugging at the skin between his thumb and index finger as he tried to think of something right to say and not cry at the same time. Not crying because Stephen was being short with him, but because Stephen was being short. He was such at a lack of sleep it was greatly affecting his mood. What to do, he couldn't offer him to go back to sleep, or even have small talk with him. Then an idea finally came to mind. Coffee, nothing he is forced to do or makes him uncomfortable, a nice drink that can wake him up and hopefully fix up his mood. 

Tony turned his head and smiled, "How about I make you some coffee?" Tony paused, waiting for a response. Then he continued on after not getting one quick enough, "You don't have to make it or do anything I make everything. I add as much creamer or sugar or both as you want. All you have to do is drink it and you'll be more awake-"

"No!" Stephen cut off. "I don't want it you didn't take the hint when I didn't answer after you first asked? Can't you just stop bothering me? Don't you have have shit to be doing right now then trying to talk to me?" Stephen snapped. 

This time it wasn't the tears he was holding back, it was the combating anger he had. Tony stood up and **slammed** his hand on to the table, causing it Stephen to perk up and force him to look at him. The anger Stephen resided only worsened. "I'm not here for this. I absolutely will not let you talk to me like this. I am trying to _help_ you Stephen. Why the hell am I getting this attitude? I'm not the reason why you couldn't sleep last night. So why treat me like I'm a piece of shit? Huh?" 

"Because you won't leave me the hell alone! You're not taking the god damn hint, _Stark_. I came down here, answered your good morning, that's it-"

"How the hell am I supposed to know you don't want to be bothered with? Who the fuck do you think I am? Christine? I don't know every single thing about you Stephen. You're treating me like a piece of shit for not knowing something that I was supposed to know, and I'm not for it." Tony's voice soften. It was difficult to not raise it too high, but he didn't want to holler at Stephen. It was already enough slipping up and using vulgar language to bat back.

Stephen got up and raised his voice up louder "How old are you? You can't tell ignoring is a sign somebody doesn't want to be bothered with? Oh you know what, now that I think back I guess you don't. All those times you tried to sweeten up to me when I first got here, that shit was annoying. My fault. You can't take a hint and it's obvious." 

Tony opened his mouth and no words came out. The tears built up before they where replaced came back. Only this time, they could not be kept back. "You don't mean that." Tony gritted. "I won't sit here and believe you meant what you said, Stephen." 

"The quicker you accept it, the less it will hurt." Stephen responded. 

Tony's eyes widen and now his body was beginning to quiver with the built of sadness. His eyes spilling out tears and his throat felt tight as he tried to stop the overflow of crying. Stephen pushed his chair in and started to walk up near the stairs, but before he could he felt a hand firmly grip his forearm. Reflexes made Stephen turn his way and instantly try and remove him, but he didn't budge. "Stop. Saying that stuff. You're tired, go back to s-sleep, Stephen." Tony's hand was shaking and his voice began to break due to how hurt he was. Stephen turned his way and took his hand off his arm then made his way upstairs. 

As soon as Stephen made it completely up the stairs and her the door of his room close, Tony raced over to his phone and instantly dialed Christine. He was so relieved that Christine didn't work today. Shakily he took his fingers and opened her contact and called her. He held the phone up to his ears trying to keep his sobs quiet if Christine answered. "Hi! Christine Palmer here. If you are getting this voicemail I am currently—"

Tony cut the voicemail of and called again. 

It rang,

_and rang,_

**_and rang_ **

"Hi! Christine P-"

Tony ended the call again. He was becoming nervous. Christine herself said she wasn't working today. 

So he tried one more time and called again,

It rang,

_and rang,_

**_and rang,_ **

_.... and **rang.**_

... "Hi! Christine Palmer here-"

Tony hung up and slammed his phone down on the table. Almost immediately after the third call her retrieved a text from Christine. "Sorry I had to come in on an emergency I work today I'll call back later x" Tony sighed and sat his phone back down. All this built up sadness he had in him he couldn't let go to anyone. He was completely...

 

_alone._


	26. This wasn't the way it was meant to be.

Stephen had stayed in his room all day and Tony made sure not to bother him. He made sure to instantly inform Peter not to knock on his door or talk to him if he saw him by lying and saying his throat hurt and it was painful to talk. Peter talked about how he was fine that same morning but Tony brushed it off by saying he started getting sick around noon. Right now it was around 9:30. Stephen skipped out breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Since Stephen had a bathroom in his room, the last time Tony saw him was the fight that morning. He found it as best to not bother him though; no matter how worried he was about him.

Peter was already in bed and now Tony sat on the couch stressed. He didn't get any work done at all because he couldn't focus. What Stephen said and how hurt and tired he could tell he was kept distracting him. All day he sat stressing about Stephen and waiting for Christine to call to get it out. Hard was an understatement to describe how difficult it was to hide the pain he was feeling from Peter. Lying to Peter too about Stephen was also a tough task.

Tony jumped up from laying up on the couch as he heard his phone vibrate. It was Christine. Without even thinking he grabbed his phone and answered it. He put it up to his ear and spoke, "Hello?" his voice shaky.

"Hey! I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you before I got called in randomly. Thank god you guys didn't do the date today you know? Anyways what's up!" Christine asked.

Tony's throat started to tighten as he tried to hold back the crying while on the phone, "Today." Tony paused to recollect himself.

"Take you're time, Tony. What happened honey?" Christine's voice went from the usual happy and out-going to more calming.

"Stephen—Stephen didn't get. Enough. Rest today. A-and he was a bit, snappy and he said some—somethings that... I am just calling you because you—know him. Best. And I just want to know. If what he said. Did he... mean it." Tony began breathing rapidly and his hurt was shown from the constant breaking of his voice. 

Christine was quiet, quiet a second too long to Tony, "He doesn't. He was the same way with me. Poor thing is just hurt plus his sleep deprivation. It causes him to say stuff he doesn't mean. He was probably irritated. Relax, Tony. He doesn't mean any of what he said and I know it. No matter how confident he was when he said it to you. Okay? Where is he now?" 

"Um." Tony looked up stairs, "He's been in his room. He's been in there all day." Tony responded. His voice clearing up as he convinced himself that what Stephen said he hadn't meant. Relieving himself of the emotional pain. 

"How about you say something to him? Do you want me to stay on the phone while you do?"

"No no you don't have to. It's okay." Tony declined.

"Alright. If you need me call back okay? I will always answer and if I don't I am sleep. Okay?" 

Tony nodded, "Mhm."

"Okay. I'm hanging up now." Christine said, then promptly hung up. Tony sat his phone down on the table and braced himself. Hopefully now his mood was better then it was before. Not too irritated now that he's been up longer. Or maybe he took a nap while upstairs. 

Tony lifted himself from the couch and wiped away his tear. He brushed himself off and calmed himself down. _Nothing he said he meant and he is going to be okay now_ Tony kept repeating that in his head. It was time to make his way up the stairs. Slowly he made his way up step by step, holding onto the side rail. Then he reached the top and stepped in front of Stephen's door. Hand onto the doorknob he leaned in close to the door and knocked. "Hey Stephen. It's Tony. You may still be mad but... Can I come in?" Tony's asked. 

There was no answer. 

"If you want me to leave you alone just say it please." 

Still no answer. 

Tony sighed, "Okay, I'm just going to let myself inside." He twisted the doorknob and slowly opened the door. When he opened it his heart immediately sank. The window in his room was wide open and everything was in place except for a note left on the bed. He didn't want to walk in. All sorts of things where racing in his head. Tony was terrified on what that note could read. "Stephen?" Tony called out loudly. His heart was pounding. Like it was going to jump right in his chest. The man began sweating furiously and trembling terribly. "Stephen? Stephen are you in here?" Tony yelled louder, loud enough for Stephen to hear but for Peter to not. 

Tony didn't want to read the note, but now it wasn't time for refusal. It was time for acceptance. It was now or never in the sense. He felt sick out of pure anxiety and fear as he inched closer and closer to the note on the bed. His heart beating so fast and hard it was skipping. Slowly he bent over the bed and picked up the note and read:

 

_Dear Tony._

_I sat in here all day thinking about what I said to you. I regret it as soon as you grabbed onto me so I wouldn't walk up the stairs. I felt so terrible. To think I said such things to someone I love so much. Wherever my mind was at that time was not an excuse for what I said. I feel so terrible. I didn't mean anything I said to you Tony. Absolutely nothing. I look back to how much pain I caused you I can't forgive myself. There is no way I could. I never ever thought in my life I would make you get to that point. I was so ashamed I cried myself in my room. I couldn't possibly show my face to you after I said those things. I love and care about you so much, you are everything I had, and all because I was sleep deprived I couldn't just be quiet. I was so ashamed I left. I left as you can probably see through the window. I don't know when I will come back or if I even will. I'm sorry. But you don't deserve to care and love someone like this. I'm sorry. I love you._

_hugs and kisses, Stephen._

Tony sat the note back down onto the bed. At this point the hurt was so strong it made his body numb. No more shaking, his heart and breathing went back to normal. He couldn't cry, he couldn't do anything. All he could do was sit on Stephens bed and blame this on himself. He thought about what he would say to Peter. What excuse would he make up. What about Christine, she also needed to know too. He sat with his head resting on his hands that where held together and his eyes shut. 

Another one lost.

Another _love_   lost.

Pepper.

Now _Stephen_. 

Tony sighed. Calling the police and calling out for a search party was completely disregarded. He had no hope Stephen was alive by now. He had thought, he was too late. So, the only thing he was left to do, was sit. Sit and let the guilt and pain weigh onto him.

 

_"This wasn't the way it was meant to be." Tony thought with tears streaming down his face._

 


	27. Chapter 27

_Saturday, October 12th, 2019_

_Edward Anthony Stark's Journal entry 1_

_Never thought I would ever have to do this again. I don't want to, but its the only way to cope when alone and raising a kid. Day one, feeling empty and guilty. The quietness of the living room is unsettling without Stephen's presence. I haven't told Peter yet ~~of what~~ about what happened to Stephen. It's only a matter of time before I have ~~too~~ to. I can't think of excuses and lie forever._

Tony placed the pen down and buried his head into his hands. The thought of having to write down his progress of grief again wasn't something he thought he would do. After years he had finally reached acceptance of Pepper's unfortunate death, he stowed away the journal and never had it cross his mind again. Taking it out again to go through the same process again was painful. Picking up the journal from a locked box underneath his bed made him experience all types of strong emotions at once. 

The depressed aura that came with the journal was also partnered with the increasing stress levels of having to think of something to tell Peter. Peter was more than good at detecting lies, and that was the worst thing about him. When he put him to sleep Tony knew that Peter knew that Christine didn't have to leave early, but he had to leave the topic because he didn't want the kid to know the real reason she had to leave. On the topic of Christine, he also had to tell her what happened too. Which meant he would have to take Stephens potential suicide letter and give it to her. Just the thought of having to lay his hands on the note again made him upset. He didn't have to read it, but he knows what was on there and didn't want to be reminded. 

Tony sighed and closed his journal. He reached for his phone that sat next to him and unlocked it. Opening up his contact list he tapped Christine's name and gave her a call, praying she wouldn't answer and was working this day. The phone rang, to hear it ring in silence like that drew him back to the morning he was trying to call her. The morning where it was Tony's last time seeing Stephen. Unfortunately, Christine picked up the phone. "Hey Tony! Are you and Stephen okay now? I'm off work today since they made me work out of the blue yesterday!" Christine greeted with her usual cheery voice. 

"Hey Christine." Tony sighed running his fingers through his hair.

"Is everything okay, Tony?" Christine's voice jumped to a more worried tone.

Tony shook his head, his throat felt tight trying to hold back his tears. "I just need to tell you something. In person. It's an emergency." Tony finished. 

"Please don't tell me it has something to do with _Stephen._ " Christine pleaded, her voice cracking as she huffed Stephens name. 

" _Yea._ " Tony squeezed his forehead and closed his eyes shut. The pain radiating through him was in explainable. 

"Okay. I'm on my way." Christine said, then continued to hang up the phone. 

Tony gently sat his phone back on the couch coffee table and sat back. He fiddled with his fingers and kept his eyes up to avoid crying. It was that moment when he heard Peter's door open. His heart was beating as he sat paralyzed and praying Peter didn't go to knock on Stephens door. Luckily, he didn't, and immediately left his room and headed straight for the stairs. "Daddy! Daddy! Look at how big Dragon is getting! Look he got so big over night!" Peter excitedly shouted. 

Tony turned his head and smiled. Dragon did get exponentially bigger. He grew about three inches over night. "Isn't he bigger?" Peter asked, jumping on the couch next to Tony. He looked down at the tortoise wide-eyed. "Yea he did get bigger. I wonder how big he's going to get." Tony smiled.

"You said as big as a basketball! Or maybe even bigger! I wonder if I'll have to stop carrying him soon because he'll get so big!" Peter jumped. 

"Yea." Tony mumbled softly. "You hungry?"

"Mm. Not really. Well just not right now." Peter answered. 

Peter took the TV remote and turned it to nickelodeon and sat his tortoise onto the couch-side and laid down. "Is Dr. Strange awake yet?" Peter mumbled, grabbing the couch blanket and putting himself underneath. 

"No he's sleep. He's going to be sleep for a while."  Tony lied.

"I didn't see him all day yesterday. Is he okay?" Peter continued to question.

"He's got a bad flu so he was just resting yesterday." Tony began to mildly panic at the large number of questions Peter was asking.  

"Oh." Peter sighed. "I hope I don't get sick then. I gave him a hug yesterday." 

Tony smiled and turned his head to Peter, "You won't." He chuckled. 

Tony let out a mental sigh of relief. Kids and there questions. He was afraid he wouldn't have a lie to cover up every question Peter asked, but luckily he stopped asking and continued to watch TV. The excuses Tony told Peter where thought up just then, and thank god he didn't make it visible that he was clearly lying and something more serious was happening. It could just be that Peter did just wake up so his 'kid energy' wasn't at his peak. 

Then it came to mind, a thought, a haunting thought. Poor Peter doesn't know that time he saw him in the morning was going to be his last. Then the overwhelming stress of having to eventually tell the kid what happened came upon him. Telling him about Pepper's death wasn't as hard because when Pepper passed Peter was too young to even remember her, so telling him simply that "you had a mother but she passed in a car accident," was simple since Peter didn't remember much about her. Stephen was a different story, Peter was old enough to start remembering things and they also formed a bond. The kid loved him and it showed. To tell Peter that Stephen died was unthinkable and he was terrified of the thought of having to talk to him about it soon. 

Tony's thoughts where interrupted when he heard a knock at his door. Peter removed the blanket and jumped from the couch yelling, "I'll get it!" Tony got up from the couch and grabbed him and lifted him up. "No you don't!" Tony joked. He knew who it was already. Tony unlocked the door and threw it open and who was behind it was just who he thought it was. 

Peter gasped in excitement, "Hi Christine!!" He greeted.

"Hi Peter!" Christine said hello back. She looked up at Tony who's face wasn't matching Peter's energy. His expression gave off a depressed feeling, like he was hurt and up crying for hours. 

Christine allowed herself inside and put her purse on coat rack. Tony put Peter down and bent down in front of him. "Me and Christine need to talk about somethings, okay?" Tony whispered. 

Peter dropped his shoulders and sighed in disappointment, but he nodded and responded with a quiet "Okay."

Tony got back up and signaled Christine to follow him up stairs. As they both made their ways up, Tony began to break down. Every step he took he was becoming worse and worse. He was becoming shaky and his heart was pounding. He was afraid. What would he say to her; what would she say to him? It was all about to be found out now. As Tony put his hand on the door knob he looked up at Christine with pure sorrow glistening in his eyes. "He's in there?" Christine whispered. She was scared to see what was behind the door. Tony didn't reply and went on to slowly opening the door. 

It was empty. 

Christine looked at Tony, fear was showing through her eyes and her body movement. "What are you showing me, Tony." She asked, her voice showing deep worry. 

Tony still refused to answer Christine. He grabbed her gently by the arm and pushed the door close. "Everything you can be and is more than likely being heard by Peter. He's nosy." Tony very silently hushed. 

Tony walked over to Stephens nightstand. The tears he was so desperately trying to hide broke free at just the mere sight of the letter. With both hands Tony took the note and handed it to Christine. She was highly hesitant at taking it, but at this point there was no good reason not to. She sat down on the bed and laid the letter on her lap and began to read. 

_The room was quiet. Eerily quiet. No noise exit out or came in._

_Christine put the note aside and shut her eyes._

_Quiet._

 

 

 

Christine shook her head, "He isn't dead." Christine whispered through tears. 

"The quicker you accept it the less it will hurt, Christine." Tony comforted, rubbing his hand on her back. 

"He's _not_ , Tony. I know he's not." 

" _Christine-_ "

"Stop It Tony!" Christine shouted, getting up from the bed and shoving his hand away. "Stop it with that sappy shit okay? Cut it. I'm not here for it, Tony." 

"What sappy shit? I am trying to comfort you because we are both experiencing heavy loss-"

"What heavy loss? Huh? Because last time I checked Stephen isn't dead-"

"HE IS DAMN IT!" Tony yelled. Trembling with loss and pain and tears streaming down his face. "Why the hell can you not just keep it at that? He is dead. Stephen is gone. We won't see him anymore. You can't. _Peter can't_. **_I can't_**. He is gone and there is nothing we can do about it. He is _gone_ , Christine. Take that shit in. Grow the hell up and learn about loss and fucking _deal_ with it."

Christine closed her eyes and collected herself. She was being aggressive, it was the fear that she may have lost her closest and only friend. Tony accepted the fact that Stephen was dead. He was experiencing heavy loss, Tony was immensely hurt and Christine had to accept that. "I'm Sorry." Christine whispered. "I'm so sorry I shouldn't have raised my voice or have gotten so upset with you-" Christine stopped when she heard the slight creek of Stephens door opening. It was Peter. 

Tony's heart sank. He heard everything, _all of it_. Tony knew it instantly.

 

_Peter didn't say a word._

_The look he had on his face was enough._

_Tony wasn't taking Stephen's death to well,_

_but Peter fully expressed it._

_"Is Dr. Strange really dead?" Peter cried. His voice cracking at every word that exit his lips._

_Nobody replied._

_Nobody was willing to reply._

_What was there to say?_

 

_The silence was enough._

_It was enough to give Peter his answer._

_Tony walked to his son and wrapped his arms around him tightly._

_Peter cried._

_and cried_

_and **cried**._

_The only noise left to be heard was the sound of his son violently sobbing._

 

 

_\---------_

_Saturday, October 12th, 2019_

_Edward Anthony Stark's Journal entry 1/2_

_I'm writing here again before I take the sleeping pills and go to bed. Peter found out the absolute worst way he could about Stephen. I can't forgive myself, i was ~~even~~ the one that told Christine to keep quit. I failed to follow my own directions. Christine offered to stay with us and help me with Peter. She keeps saying that he is alive, there is a little bit in me that believes her, but what if he winds up dead?  The grief i will go through will just get worse. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS was SO HARD writing this omg im the author of the book and CRYING as i type this chapter WHAT WAS I THINKING


	28. Chapter 28

_Saturday, October 13th, 2019_

_Edward Anthony Stark's Journal entry_

_After Peter came in to the room yesterday he hasn't talked to any of us since. He didn't eat lunch and he nearly refused dinner. He went to bed incredibly early that night too. 7:20ish. Way too early especially on a weekday. Peter didn't come out of his room until really late in the day. The **atmosphere** in the house is awful. It was so quiet. It was depressing. God i really wish i kept quiet in my room, but that doesn't change the fact that Peter would have to fi **nd out anyways.** It was just too early. The way Peter looks now, I have never seen him that way. _

_He kept his door close the night ~~beore~~ before. He doesnt usually close his door, he likes it open. I feel guilty, empty, t **errible. Ch** ristine keeps insisting Stephen is out there. She says stuff like "He may have just taken some time out" or "he will be back, i promise." But she is just saying that to **make me feel b** etter. I appreciate the effort, ~~honsetly~~ honestly, but it isn't working. _

_Today I had to take Stephen off my **insurance**. Christine said she could add him to her's but whats the point? The **reason.** It was hard to do so. It was also hard to tell the counselor what happened to S **tephen and** why I had to cancel the therapy. To think that if i gave him that sleeping pill that he could gotten his medicine today. _

_Right now I'm writing this ~~in while sit **ting**~~ **while lay** ing in his bed. I know it's not a good way to forget, but it's the closest i will ever be to him again. In his room, where he used to sleep. I wish Stephen was here right n **ow. Maybe i** f i didnt cry when he said those things to me he would still be here? Maybe, but I blame myself for it. I'm a 44 year old man, crying because my fucking feelings. Ev **eryday t** ~~ **he b** lame i put on myself~~ m **y guilt gets** bigger and bigger. If i left him alone would he still be here? If I gave him the sleeping pill would he still **be here?** The simple answer is yes._

_**yes h** e would. _

_It's quiet h **ere wit** hout you Stephen. _

 


	29. Chapter 29

_Saturday, October 13th, 2019_

_Anthony Edward Stark Journal entry 2 1/2_

_I can't sleep. God It's like Pepper all over again, maybe worse? Now that it isn't just me who is dealing with loss, but also my son._


	30. Chapter 30

_Saturday, October 14th, 2019_

_Anthony Edward Stark Journal entry 3_

_Peter was quiet when Christine and I helped him to get ready. It was a hassle. Waking him up was difficult, he was in a pissy mood, but I get it. I do. Christine is a big help, i dont want to admit to her that she is, but I don't know what I would do without her. Yes, I've done this on my own before, but now Peter is affected, it harder. She still thinks he is out there, and to be honest? I'm starting to go with her. She knows him more than me, yes he loves me and does more for me then he has ever done for her, but still, they where ~~apparenly~~ apparently childhood friends, so I guess I should go with it. Not too hard though. I dont want to be disappointed to find him dead one day._

_God. To know he may really be gone, I can't accept that fact yet._

_Anyway, emotional update: I am very tired today, no rest last night at all. I'm still guilty, as I should be.  Christine is here to try and cheer me up, im thankful for it, but it's just, not working. The only thing that could really cheer me up is Peter cheering up. Pepper was not easy to get over but it was easier to grief about because Peter was too young to be affected, god this is just. All my fault._


	31. Chapter 31

_Saturday, November 30th, 2019_

_Anthony Edward Stark Journal entry ~~3 3~~ 4_

_Oh m y god. Oh my god Christine **los t it. S** he had a mental breakdown oh god it's terr **ible**. She lost hope, she lost hope. Stephen is gone. Stephen's gone. Ch **ristin** e lost hope thats it, tha ts all the ~~hoep~~ hope ~~wer~~ **we had lef** t. I thought I was taking it now, I thought i w **as alre** ady in the griefing process, but now. He's gone. Oh my god ~~ste **pen**~~ stephen is gone. Peter god I am so sorry I caused you so much pain for such a young age, Im so sorry you have to go through something like this at just the age of 7. I'm so sorry, Peter, I'm s o sorr y_

 


	32. Chapter 32

_Saturday, December 3rd, 2019_

_Anthony Edward Stark Journal entry 4_

_So it's been around 3 months since Stephen has gone. Christine and I have finally put up courage to file a report to the police. Sometime today because it's coming too close to christmas and we are both trying to get the situation closed up. I'm not sure when we're going to do it, but it's soon. It's going to be really tough, but it's better to just, close it up now. Luckily, Peter has gotten better. Still hurt, but he's laughing, playing, and just acting himself again. I wish I could be like that. It's so rough. God it's so rough._

_I wonder what thanksgiving dinner or Christmas what have been like if Stephen was still here? Maybe by thanksgiving he would have taken his meds and gotten better. I don't know I dont really know how that stuff works._

 

 

_I miss him._

 

_I wonder if I told him I love him enough times before he died. I feel liked I failed to let him know how I really felt. I can't really remember what I said in the car that one day when leaving the therapists office, but I feel like it just wasn't enough. That kiss in the car we had.                       To know I won't be able to do it again. We never really ever had a hug either._

 

 

 ~~_**God I know I say it so mcuh mchu** _ ~~ _I ~~misss~~ miss him so much_

 

Tony sighed and sat his journal on top of the nightstand. He buried his head into his hands and sighed. It was rough. Having to make the call that finally settled the fact that Stephen wasn't going to come back. He had to make it today. It had to be done today in fear that they may push the call too close to Christmas. He still couldn't accept it. He couldn't accept that Stephen was actually gone. Even so, if Stephen wasn't dead wouldn't he be back by now?

Tony shook his head and grabbed his phone. His hands began to shake, he already felt the tears coming. Christine offered to be the person to call, but he denied it almost instantly. Now he regrets that decision; he regret being so difficult.  He was extremely hesitant on calling. His thumb was hovering over the emergency contact button. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to cry, something he almost never does. _You gotta do it, Stark. It's now or never._ He thought to himself.

He slammed the phone face down on the nightstand. He couldn't do it. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to accept that Stephen was gone so soon, but he was and he needed to make the call. To give Stephen the funeral and peaceful rest he deserved. 

Tony pushed through his hesitations and grabbed the phone and dialed 911. He held the phone to his ear with tears trapped in his throat and hands severely trembling out of hurt. The phone rang for a few seconds longer than it should have, then an operator picked up.

"911 what's your emergency?" The man spoke.

"Uhm..." Tony's voice was shaking and his heart was pounding. He was feeling sick and shaky due to all the emotional pain. "I would like to file a um... someone is, m-missing." Tony stuttered.

"Alright... Who's the missing person's name sir and how long has it been since you have last seen them?" The operator investigated, typing down something on his computer. 

"St-Stephen Strange. Last time was around um... maybe three months ago." Tony quivered. 

 

_Knock Knock_

Tony turned his head and quickly turned back ignoring the knocking. He imagined it to be Christine since Peter was at school. It angered him a bit because Christine knew when he would be doing it so there shouldn't be any reason to the knocking. "You said around three months ago. Do you have a certain date?" the operator asked. 

"Um." Tony paused and reached for his journal.

  _Knock Knock._

 

Again. The knocking. Tony was getting irritated. _God damn it Christine you know I'm busy_   he thought to himself. He threw open the journal and searched to where he first wrote about Stephen. The page was found almost instantly. "October 11th." Tony answered. 

"Okay..." The operator's voice faded as he typed more information down into his computer. "What's your name sir?" 

"Tony Stark."

The operator didn't respond, only the feint sounds of typing on the keyboard was heard. "Okay Mr.Stark your address is 518 Artist view road, correct?"

 

_Knock._

 

Tony grunted. He was becoming extremely irritated at the constant knocking and how Christine didn't take the hint as he had ignored her the first knock. "Sir?" The operator called up.

"Yes I—yes that's it god damn it hold on." Tony snapped. 

Tony got up from his bed quickly and walked to the door. Anger built up in his system he twisted the knob and threw the door open. "God damn it Christine what? What?! What the hell do you want? Did you forget I was making this call today? What is so god damn important that you—" Tony stopped. It was almost like his vocal cords where cut. 

Tony was mute. There was nothing to be said or nothing that could be said. His hand covered his mouth and disbelief, like what stood in front of his wasn't _real._ _It couldn't be_. There was no way this moment right now could be actually happening. Tony was paralyzed. It was like someone had there hands around his throat from all the tears that where trying to be held back. His body was heavy and unable to to anything. "Sir? Sir hello? Are you still there? Hello?" The operator called out in a flat voice.

Slowly Tony moved his lips closer to the microphone of the device. He mumbled quietly with all the voice he had in him.

 

_"He's here._ _"_

 

"Who? Stephen Strange?" The operator followed up. 

" _Yes_ " Tony whispered, his voice so low it was almost inaudible. He ended the call and slid his phone into his front pocket.

Tony was in shock. _This isn't real. I'm hallucinating. He isn't real. He isn't real._ All these things where replaying in his head. He wanted to convince himself he was making this up; that he was simply just seeing things. But god, he just couldn't. Stephen. He looked so different. He looked beaten up; _tired_. Stephen's hair was way longer, but dirtier than it was before he had left. His jacket was torn. His eyes weren't a bright green, it was more dull and a dark red, indicating that he hadn't slept a lot and spent a lot of time awake and crying. Underneath his eyes where heavy _heavy_ bags and you could see streams imprinted on his face from the constant sobbing. But, despite how _different_ Stephen looked; Tony had recognized him instantly.

Tony was still in shock. Was it him? Stephen Strange standing in front of him? Someone he had finally accepted that was gone, not alive, standing right in front of him, _living?_ Tony shook his head, not taking his eyes off of Stephens' . "Please don't let this be a hallucination." He whispered as he rose his right hand and touched it against Stephens chest. God he was real. The feeling of touching Stephen, the physical contact even if it was just the smallest. The emotion it gave Tony was immense; but it still wasn't enough to believe. 

Tony closed his eyes and sunk his head, " _Say something._ " Tony's voice quivered. 

Stephen closed his eyes and sighed, " _Tony I'm so sorry._ " Stephen whispered, tears already starting to trickle down his cheek. 

Tony's eyes teared up and his throat tightened. He rested his left hand onto Stephens cheek. Tony's lips where quivering at Stephen's statement. Out of all things to say he said an apology. It shattered Tony's heart to see Stephen this way. Torn apart; both physically and mentally. " _You're okay._ " Tony's voice softened. 

Stephen wiped away tears from Tony's eyes and swung his arms around his neck and pulled him close. Stephen held Tony's back with his arm and had his other on his head, gently petting it. Tony let his tears go, it was too much to keep in now. Too painful. He hugged Stephen tight as if he would leave again any second. The feeling of Stephens hand gently stroking his head and himself cushioned up against Stephen's chest was something he had always wanted, but never would have thought he would get. "I love you so much please _please_ don't leave like this again and just talk to me. _Please_ just _talk_ to me next time Stephen _please.._." Tony whined through tears. 

"I won't. I wont. I promise. I will talk it out next time." Stephen responded, pulling Tony in closer. 

 Tony nodded gently and tucked his head further into Stephens arm. Nothing else was said; nothing else had to be said. They reunited, and all the things that needed to be spoken where said already. No need to question where he was and what he did for three months, but they where together, and to them,

 

_that's all that mattered._


	33. Chapter 33

Tony sat on the end of the bed twiddling his thumbs. He was worrying; and he didn't know why. Stephen was showering and freshening up in his bathroom which was only a few steps away from him. You could say it was slight separation anxiety. Obscure thoughts were racing in his mind. What if he leaves again? Is there a window in the bathroom he could get out of? Then he thought; Stephen wouldn't leave him again, he promised. Would he? Tony started shaking internally with the overwhelming stress and anxiety built up. 

Suddenly the bathroom door flew open. Tony jumped slightly and was instantly relieved to see him walk out. He got up with a smile on his face and made his way up to Stephen. "Feel better now?" Tony asked.

Stephen nodded and slightly grinned, "Yea." he mumbled gently. 

Tony nodded then made his smile gradually go away. He sighed and stared right into Stephens now bright green eyes. He still didn't believe everything happening was real. That Stephen was standing in front of him. It wasn't possible to him. He had been gone for three months only to show up as he's making the call to announce him as dead, or missing to the police at the moment. He took his hand and touched Stephen's right cheek. His fingers almost barely touching. _"Everything okay?"_  Stephen voice got quieter. Slowly Stephen raised both his hands up and held Tony's face firmly between his palms. " _It's really me, Tony._ " he grinned.

Tony ducked his head low, ashamed. It was embarrassing that Stephen had to repeat that to him several times for him to believe it. "I know." Tony sighed, dropped his hand down to Stephen's chest. "I'm sorry you have to keep repeating that to me." He threw his head back up and let out a short sigh. Sliding his hands up against Stephen's he removed them and held them up to his lips and pecked a small kiss. A smile grey upon his face as he stared upon his love. "Let's just get this over with so you can get some rest huh?" 

Tony and Stephen walked into the bathroom and up towards the counter. Tony opened a closet within the bathroom and pulled out a fold up chair. All that needed to be done to open it was a quick snap at the chair leg, then he followed that up by placing the chair in front of the mirror. He opened a drawer and pulled out hair clippers, a razor, and shaving cream. "Alright, you're free to sit down!" Tony smiled, doing a little royal bow towards the seat to lighten up the mood. 

Stephen couldn't help but laugh at Tony. It was corny, but that was the funny part of it. "Okay," He laughed, taking his seat in the chair. Tony took hold of the hair clipper and turned it on. As he began to gently trim at the Stephens long locks he began to take the time to think. As much as he wanted to bring up what happened all those three months he was gone he thought it wouldn't be appropriate. The atmosphere that was there was already brightening up and he didn't want to bring it back down. He sighed and let his smile fade. Stephen and him where sitting directly in front of a large mirror, so Stephen wasn't looking anywhere else but down or up. He happened to look up and see the saddened expression on Tony's look. "You okay, Tony?" Stephen asked. 

"Oh! Oh uh nothing, I'm just a bit tired." Tony smiled, looking at Stephen through the mirror, stroking his hair. "I'm just a bit tired." he repeated a bit quieter, continuing to cut Stephen's hair. 

Stephen knew he wasn't okay, but he decided to let the subject go. It was better to do that then make him uncomfortable by trying to address the problem. Stephen slowly rested his head on the head rest of the chair and closed his eyes, allowing Tony to work around his head. The way his hands felt through his hair made him feel at home. Like Tony was his home. Being back in Tony's hands was something he never would have thought he would get back too. To know he's here with him, like Tony was his home. It was calming. His eyes closed gently and a gently smile running across his lips.

It warmed Tony's heart to see Stephen this way. Plus the fact that it was him causing this sprawl of happiness in Stephen. Tony didn't know what Stephen went through while he was gone the three months, but he knows what he went through prior to him leaving. The smile on his face and the way his eyes opened and closed. He moved the clippers away and ran his fingers through his hair and bent over to kiss him on the head, "You look happy." Tony mumbled.

"Mhm," Stephen hummed while lifting his hand up to hold it up to Tony's cheek, "I'm just so happy to be here with _you._ "  

"Really?" Tony perked, raising an eyebrow, "I'm making you this happy? Huh." Tony chuckled, holding Stephen's head in his hands against his chest.

"I just... Never thought I would never get here again." Stephen said, his smile instantly going away.

 Tony's mood instantly shifted as her heard Stephen's state of mind set different. He looked back up towards the mirror and continued to trim down Stephens hair, "Why do you say that?" Tony asked, worriedly. 

Stephen groaned and began to fiddle with his fingers. He didn't want to bring up what happened while he was out. The one he loved most was in a good mood and didn't want to bring it down. When he said what he said he promptly regretted it, knowing it would spark a sort of negative topic. Those last 3 months where like the worst. When he knocked on the door of Tony's house and he saw Christine answer, it was like the last few months where a fever dream, as he had just lost a large bit of his life. The moment he saw Christine open the door it was like he was set free, but it was also something he had never thought he would get too. Happiness. It felt achievable. But it was here, and it felt so un _real_.  "Hey honey you're beginning to shake. Relax okay? You don't have to answer it alright? You're going to be okay." Tony comforted, taking his right hand free hand to run his fingers along his hair to calm him down.  

"It's not so about me, but you." Stephen shivered. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I just don't want to tell you what happened when I was gone. What I did, tried to do, experienced, you'd just be worrying about me. I can't have that." Stephen huffed and slumped over. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the moment, I can't seem to keep my god damn-"

"Hey hey..." Tony cut off. He put the clippers down onto the counter and moved to where he was in front of him. " _You're being so hard on yourself._ " his voice becoming quieter as the concern for Stephen grew more and more. 

"The first thing I do only an hour back was bring on negativity. Like nothing I experienced while I was gone shaped me in any  _way._ " Stephen's voice broke as he mouthed the last word signifying that he had tears being built up. 

Stephen was working himself up badly. The guilt that he was feeling of almost having to tell Tony about what happened to him the past few months all because he spit something out that he shouldn't have. He suffered as being a burden in the house. Like as soon as he showed up to Tony's home it brought a dark cloud along with him. He so desperately tried to keep the negativity to himself, but keeping so much hurt onto him was  ** _heavy_**  and to keep all that hurt in was making him physically ache. It was unbearable. "You're not bringing any sort of negativity in this house, and I want that to be embedded into your head." Tony turned towards the counter and shut the clippers off, now only silence was being heard.

"It tore us apart to see you disappear like you did. Christine and Peter. And me. It hurt me terribly. I couldn't eat, sleep, think. I could barely do any work. I was losing money income because of my lack of work being given out and being done. It was awful. I thought you where truly gone. Really. When you knocked on the door and I answered screaming because I thought it was Christine, I was on the phone with ICE reporting you as missing. Just today, not even when you disappeared because Christine was so adamant that you where still out here. It was only a month later that you where confirmed... Gone." Tony shut his eyes trying to keep away the obvious sorrow.

"Christine had a break down. It was, it was so out of character. We were having dinner and she just lost it. She threw her plate on the ground breaking it and started to cry and scream that you were really gone. It was like she was tired of keeping up the fact you where still out there. I had to rush Peter into his room and right then explain that Christine wasn't insane and told him she had a mental melt down and explain to him what that was. At just seven years old. All this because we thought at the time that you went and took your own life. We were all deeply grieving for you and it was that moment when we all knew you were truly gone. You coming back is everything  _but_  negative, Stephen."  Tony smiled, whipping away tears being built up in his eyes. "We missed you Stephen, and too say I'm happy to have you back is severely an understatement." 

Tony turned to grab the hair clippers and turned the switch back to on. Hoisting himself back up he walked back behind Stephen and continued to work back on his hair. A bright smile was still spread on his face to keep Stephen in a better mood. It occurred to him Stephen was always worried about him being worried over Stephen. So he hid his concerns from Stephen to keep him calm and collected. Tony pulled the razor a slight ways from Stephens hair and began to feel his fingers through and soft and silky locks. "Your hair is looking nice, isn't it?" Tony smiled. 

Stephen took a good look at himself through the mirror and grinned, "Yea. You're good at this." he cheeked. 

"Awh really? Stephen you're too kind." Tony laughed. "You can go ahead and start shaving if you want, or if you're too tired I can do that too." 

Stephen puckered his lips and shook his head, "No it's okay. I can do it." He offered. 

Following his agreement he grabbed the shaving cream that laid on top of the counter and opened it. Stephen squeezed the bottle and allowed the shaving cream to flow onto his hand. Then he continued to rub the cream gently along his chin in continuous circles. Stephen grabbed the razor on top of the counter and began shaving his facial hair away gradually. Tony looked up to the mirror and eyed Stephen, "All of it?" Tony chuckled.

Stephen shrugged and smiled, "Might as well. It's just easier right now."

Tony nodded, "Well good news is I'm done with cutting up your hair. One thing I like so much about this razor, cuts so quick and just as much as you want." 

Stephen looked up too take a look at his hair now. He couldn't help but smile widely at it. It looked better. Obviously better then it was a few minutes ago, but better than it has ever been. "It's really nice, Tony!" 

"I would thank the razor, not so much me." Tony laughed, shutting the razor off. 

"Well you can have a razor but still be bad at cutting hair, take the compliment, Tony." Stephen jokingly scoffed, continuing to trim off his facial hair. 

Tony chuckled at his love's smart talking as he put the hair clippers back into the drawer. Suddenly, he heard what seemed like a bus pass the house. It caught his attention without delay. Peter's home.  _Peter's home._ Tony was so caught up with Stephen being here, his son instantly flew over his head. "Stephen you heard that?" Tony asked, rapidly taping him on his shoulder.

"What? What?? Did I hear what?" Stephen asked extremely puzzled. 

" _That. That was Peter's bus._ " Tony mumbled. 

Stephen raised his eyebrows in shock. Peter. God he missed that kid so much too. Peter made him feel like he had his own son, like he was raising his own. To know he was also affected by him leaving made his heart sink. How much pain he dropped on that kid. He turned back to the mirror and began to shave quicker. Quick enough to get done in time to see Peter, but slow enough so that he wouldn't hurt himself along the way. 

Tony began to shake. " _Oh my god._ " he mumbled, covering his mouth up to help hold up his tears. " _He will be so happy to see you._ " Tony turned back and smiled. " _God he would be so so happy._ "  

"Okay Okay just give me a second, I'm trying to shave as quickly as possible-" Stephen panicked. 

"No no don't rush, don't rush. It's going to be fine you'll see him in t-"

"Tony you don't understand how much I miss that  _kid."_ Stephen took a breather as he began choking on tears, _"I want to see him._ " he cried.

Stephen pushed himself more and more the closer he got to finishing. He missed Peter like it was his own child. On days when not even Tony could cheer him up, Peter was always there to talk to him. Stephen would sit and listen to him talk on and on about his day or what happened at school or what he did outside with his friends that day. Those days when he kept to himself and even Tony didn't speak to him because he was so closed up, Peter would come to him and say the smallest things. He used to hear Tony personally tell Peter to leave him alone certain days, and he wouldn't. Peter was a large reason why he kept going. Stephen felt as if he stopped, he had let his own child down. Not seeing the kid for over three months and knowing that Peter missed him dearly, he wanted to see Peter as soon as he possible could. 

Finally he had chipped of the last bit of facial hair and watched as it fell towards the ground. Stephen looked up and felt along his chin, it felt naked as he hadn't had all of it removed in a while, but he felt good. He felt  _cleaner_. Then, the sound of a door slowly creaking opening alerted both of them. Stephen got up from his chair and grabbed Tony's hand. He looked his way, he was nervous. What if Peter was mad at Stephen? Or Tony made it all up that Peter was upset to cheer him up and the kid didn't really care at all? He was finally here, at this moment, and was now to nervous to go on. 

Tony turned softly towards Stephen, showing off all the love in his eyes off to him. Raising Stephens hand up in his he gently kissed it and smiled, " _He misses you, Stephen._ " he murmured. 

Stephen nodded and released Tony's hand. Nervous, he made his way about the bathroom, towards the bedroom door, then, down the stairs. "Hey dad." Peter called out, before seeing Stephen walk down the stairs. His heart was pounding and only increased at every step he took. Eventually, he had made it towards the last step. Peter had his back facing the stairs before plopping up onto the couch. Stephen eyed Christine, who was sitting at the dining room table. She gave a gentle nod and a bright Christine-like smile up at him. It was a subtle but clear signal to make his move already. 

Stephen turned back to the couch. Shaking, he finally decided to speak up.

 

_"Hey Peter."_

_T_ _hat voice._

_That wasn't his fathers voice._

_He knew_

_Almost instantly._

_Shocked, Peter slowly turned his head and his eyes met up with Stephens'. He was beyond speechless._

_Disbelief._

_Was it really him that stood in front of him at this very moment?_

_"...Dad?"_

_Peter hoisted himself up from the couch and slowly walked around the corner of it. "Dr. Strange...? You're..." his lips began to quiver and he was already drowning in his own tears._

_"I'm home, Peter." Stephen smiled leaned down with open arms._

Without hesitation, Peter ran up into the doctor's arms continuing to cry into his chest. Stephen picked up the child and held him in both arms. " _I missed you too buddy._ " Stephen whispered, holding his, what it felt like, _son_ in his arms. 

On his right, he felt somebody warm hold onto his forearm and lay there head down gently on his shoulder. Tony. Oh Tony. Stephen took the arm Tony was softly holding onto and wrapped it around his now boyfriend, holding both him and Peter _close_. 

Then, in front of him stood his best friend. The woman that stood with him his whole life. The one that was always with him, even through the thickest of times. Christine Palmer, with tears rapidly streaming from her eyes and still being able to pull off a smile. She fell into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

Stephen shut his eyes and held everyone close. This was all of it. His family right here in his arms, at once. Small,

 

but _here._

_A moment as such was something Stephen never would have ever guessed would happened, but it's here._

_"I love you guys so much." Stephen spoke up through the heavy amounts of tears._

_Holding him closer, Christine, Peter, and Tony responded in unison,_

_"We love you too,"_

_"So much honey. So so much." Tony added, digging his head further into Stephens shoulder and holding onto him to feel closer.  
_

_"So so so so so so so so so so so so much, Dr. Strange. Don't leave ever again." Peter pleaded, squeezing his arm around Stephens neck._

_"With all my heart, Stephen." Christine cried._

_The air was still. It was quiet, but unlike other silences in the house prior, this was was calming. Nothing needed to be said anymore. It was time to appreciating that everyone was here. Together as one._


End file.
